newBROOM Breaking News

Coup – but from who?
(Turkey) The Turkish army rebelled – or at least that is what we got to know. Apparently they wanted to save democracy, and now the president wants to do the same.
To save democracy, what do you do? Exactly. You arrest all the people involved in the coup – and then a couple more who you do not like anyway. Oh, and while you are at it, you could also get rid of everyone else that annoys you, such as teachers, professors, journalists and others who dare criticizing you. And then, well, then you have achieved your goal and saved democracy. You can be sure that the media only report what you like. You can be sure that children only learn what you think good. You can be sure universities turn out good citizens. So what if others think that is not democracy? It is your very own interpretation of that funny Greek concept. After all, in ancient Greece, not all citizens participated in democracy, so why break with tradition? Ah, such a nice coup is such bliss. Who care who the instigator was after all? (BC)

 

NewBROOM-e-gram

July 4th – Something called a space probe reached the planet Jupiter. Since Muggles know their antique gods, they called the probe “Juno”. Now that couple is reunited – but actually we think there will be difficulties. We’re not exactly talking about the most blissfully happy couple on Mount Olympus here!
July 5th – Our new best enemies on the political sector, the new right-wing part called AfD, managed to quarrel so much in Baden-Wurttemberg that they split. It does remind us forcefully of Monty Python’s “Life of Brian” and the Judaic People’s Front and the People’s Front of Judaea…
July 7th – In the USA; the series of people shooting at others does not stop. This time, it was a man who wanted to take revenge for the killings of African-American suspects committed by over-zealous white policemen. When do these American morons finally see reason and stop the laws that allow every idiot to own and use guns?
July 13th – Theresa May becomes Britain’s new Prime Minister. Of course she got a visit from Kingsley Shacklebolt in his function as Minister for Magic the same night. Needless to say, Mrs May will deny the incident should anyone ask her about it. Aren’t Muggles sweet?
July 14th – French National Holiday, and the day yet another terrorist attack happened, this time in sunny Nice. It is simply appalling how those terrorists drag a whole religion down just because they think they have the only interpretation of religious texts.
July 15th – An army uprising occurred in Turkey. Strangely, though, the government’s reaction as much more coordinated than the coup of the military people. Currently, loads of people who were criticizing the government before the coup are being arrested. The media have been synchronized to only broadcast the official government opinions. Is this still a democracy?
July 22nd – A man runs amok in Munich. He is not a refugee, but a madman with right-wing tendencies, yet the right-wing parties at once jump at conclusions suiting their view of the world much better. It is hideous how they exploit the deaths of so many young people for their own purposes.
July 26th – Hillary Clinton becomes the official candidate of the Democrats for the election of the President of the USA. Four days earlier, the Republicans nominated Donald Trump. Honestly, if the Americans are stupid enough to vote for Trump, we should seriously think about where to flee when World War III begins.
July 31st – Happy birthday Harry!

Wait and See

(Germany) The past four attacks in Bavaria were terrible, horrible, and deadly – deadly at least for most of the attackers. We are so sad for the families who lost loved ones – and we are horrified by the mindless way some journalists reported about the attacks.
First, there was the attack on a train where a young man used an axe and a knife to attack innocent tourists. The attacker was shot by the police. He was a refugee from Syria, and he was suffering from psychological disorders. People thought he was attacking them with a terrorist background – maybe he did. Most probably, though, he was so traumatized by the Syrian war that his mind snapped and he wanted to take a lot of people with him when committing suicide. Yet what was the reaction of some people? “All refugees are potential terrorist!” Such a nonsense – of course they are not! There are far more weirdos in our society than among those who come here looking for peace.
Second, a young man ran amok in a shopping centre in Munich. He, as it turned out, was really a nutter whose dream it was to run amok and commit suicide afterwards. What did some people promptly say? “He was employed by ISIS and he is a refugee!” Wrong on both counts – he was born in Munich, and he liked right-wing politics.
Third, a man killed a woman by decapitating her in public. Ugly, messy, and cruel, yes. But not a terror attack at all! He killed the woman because they had problems in their relationship…
Fourth, a young man literally exploded in a café in Ansbach. So he was a suicide bomber, albeit a failed one as he did not manage to kill anyone else but himself (which was lucky, of course). He is the only one who was a real terrorist, and he failed because – get this – he did not have a ticket to get into the festival arena where he originally wanted to explode.
What do we learn from those four attacks? We should not jump to conclusions but wait and see what professionals find out. Sometimes things are not quite as they seem at first glance. And although the risk of terror attacks has risen, we should not automatically assume there are terrorists lurking behind every corner. (BC)

After the Referendum

(London) After the people in the UK voted for exiting the European Union, the repercussions also hit magical politics hard. Minister for Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt, a firm advocate for cooperation between nations, said he wanted to call for elections to make sure the magical community had the representative most suitable to their own wishes. Brian Cullen was able to secure an interview with political insider Dominic Sterne, whose job at the Ministry of Magic enables him to give unique perspectives on recent developments.
BC: Hello, Dominic, it’s a great pleasure having you here. I am glad your busy job left you time to talk to us.
DS: Well, thank you. Right now, my job is quite easy, so I can easily spare the time for this interview. Man, this is the first time I’ve ever been interviewed!
BC: You know that the minister wants to call for new elections. Have you heard anything about likely candidates?
DS: Nope. But I hope they will get someone capable in the top job.
BC: I couldn’t agree with you more. We did have some rather useless ministers.
DS: Yes, the last capable one was old Fudge. He was a good minister, he was!
BC: Er, excuse me, but Fudge was not a good minister at all.
DS: Yes, he was, mate. He brought the Quidditch World Cup to England! And there was no war, no killings, no fighting when he was minister.
BC:Sorry, Dominic, but that’s just wrong. The killings did start, and he failed to see that Lord Voldemort was back.
DS: So say some. But I think we need someone new who focusses on the important things, like Quidditch.
BC: So you don’t care about the decisions concerning the European Union?
DS: The faster we’re out, the better. Brussels is only a nuisance. And those Polish wizards coming over, they want to take my job from me, and I can’t stand them anyway.
BC: Dominic, are you sure you are a senior adviser to the minister?
DS: Nah, mate, I’m a helping hand for magical maintenance. Who told you I was an advisor?
BC: Never mind. Thanks anyway for coming over.
Brian swore to himself to do some proper research next time. Still, Dominic’s views are quite revealing to what moves less politically interested people. (BC)