Introduction
On this website you will find useful texts to brush up your knowledge. For exercises based on these texts check out broom's Test Your Idiots.
Contents
Magical Magazine
English Course I
English Course II
English Course III
Magical Mammals
The Origin of the Witch
The Domestication of the House Elf
Magical History
The Lascaux Caves
The Legend of the Plague Virgin
Muggle Magic
Fly high, up in the sky…
Rise like a rocket, fall like a stick…
Fly high, up in the sky…but, what’s if there is no sky?
Why muggles clean the universe…
Muggle Magniloquence
broom in Style
Magical Magazine
English Course I
broom, the world’s most magical magazine, is proud to present its new and nearly perfect English course for the sophisticated student.
Mind you, this only works if you take this and the TEST YOUR IDIOTS-section at
the same time. Otherwise you might think this is just some extra reading for you... To begin with, we want to introduce ourselves, our staff, and, of course, broom.
The Editors
Michael (Mike) Flatley, age unknown, is a lovable man in his late twenties sporting shockingly short auburn hair and freckles. He just loves writing and ever since leaving a highly exclusive school has been working as a successful journalist. Mike lost his job at the Daily Prophet after telling too much of the truth and decided to use his time and money for a new start together with his best mate and colleague at broom.
Brian Cullen, younger than he looks, makes up for the lack of hair on his head with a magnificent beard. Ever since he turned 11 he has known Mike and co-operated with him in pranks and exams alike. Doubtlessly he has a heart for women, and women have a heart for him. The only drawback is that this talented young writer tends to break hearts. After having been sacked at the Daily Prophet, Brian began the project of broom.
The Staff
Rumours say that there are no staff working for broom, but that is obviously not true! Apart from the editors, there are loads of people working for their favourite magazine, and we'd like to introduce some of them.
Geronimo is the head printer, that is to say he is an old-fashioned printer allegedly using only black ink but perfectly capable of doing coloured prints. He usually goes on strike once a week.
Violet Vainglory is a beautiful young woman with style who is always at our service to report on the latest gossip.
Harriet Kettle-Stove does the cooking section, and her recipes are usually worth trying.
Leslie Pagana-Greenacre is our expert for plants - and crimes - of any kind.
Dustin Dulles might not be the brightest but certainly a good correspondent from abroad.
Fred and George Weasley are our experts for the world’s best sport: Quidditch.
Mark Mulligan (Dark Mark) is our latest asset who works for our opponents as well as for us. We hope to get some more readers with his help.
broom
broom stands for Boisterous Ridiculous Omniscient Obscure Magazine. We started out as a magazine reporting nothing but, well, nonsense.
Our main idea was make people laugh! That’s still our primary intention, but there are more Sirius, sorry, serious topics as well. Lately we started to publish articles concerning the rise of Vicious V. and his followers. Whenever we tell something important, something true, you will know by the signature “Resistance Rocks” below it.
Sometimes we get our information straight from the people fighting Voldemort, sometimes our sources are more sinister. However, even you as a non-magical person can read our magazine. Just visit our, erm, what’s it called? Homesight? No, wait – homepage! There it is: http://people.freenet.de/broom. If you read our articles and understand them – welcome to the wonders of the English language!
English Course II
Now, we want to acquaint you with two more parts of our lovely magazine: the interview and the Editors’ Corner. In the latter we usually express our opinion on various topics. The first is an open assault on some unsuspecting victims who find themselves suddenly exposed to our nonsensical questions.
Your task is to read them and understand them, take notes of the words – you know the stuff.
Interview - Not With A Vampire
Interview with the Head-Printer of
broom
Brian Cullen, our co-editor and heartbreaking master of the printers, has
taken the faithful head-printer with him to his room to ask a few intimate
questions about his work and life.
BC: Welcome, Geronimo, to a room of broom’s headquarters which you
haven’t seen so far.
HP: Thanks, sir, for taking me – would you try and clean out my
ink-stand with a soft linen?
BC: Sure I will. I can clean while you answer my questions.
HP: Very well, sir. What do you want to know?
BC: First, how did you end up being the head printing machine in a
magazine house in Hogsmeade?
HP: I was the cheapest printing machine you could find, sir, and I had
been tossed out by the Daily Prophet, which, as you told Mr Flatley, was
something we had in common.
BC: All too right, Geronimo. And so you came here, and have ever since
been used to print the first handouts to read them for mistakes, and you are also
the one who prints the front page of our magazine.
HP: That’s because I’ve been bewitched to do many-coloured prints with
just black ink, sir. And I may remind you that this is illegal!
BC: Um, yes. But it’s not illegal if you do it for private purposes – and
we bought you bewitched.
HP: If you say that, sir…
BC: Yes, that’s the official story, so (whispers) shut up or I’ll
drain your inkstand and let you get all rusty and creaky.
HP: I’m a dignified printing machine and I won’t let myself being
treated like scum – sir! I might persuade the other machines to going on strike.
BC: Again, you mean? But this last time we supported you for a week. Tell
our readers what happened.
HP: We printers were disgraced by being torn apart and scrutinized by
Ministry wizards raiding the headquarters. One even tore my single sheet of
paper from me, leaving me all naked, and they also filled some ink into a bottle
to check for illegal substances. Neither myself nor my colleagues could suffer
such a treatment, and so we refused working for a while.
BC: My co-editor and me are sometimes quite concerned about your health:
you cough and splutter a lot on some days.
HP: I am an old printer, sir, and even if I do have my bad days –
especially wet weather is unhealthy for me – I am still perfectly able to print
your ridiculous paper.
BC: Boisterous, ridiculous, obscure, omniscient…
HP: I meant ridiculous, sir, and only ridiculous. It’s not serious
journalism you’re writing – look, you’re interviewing a printing machine!
BC: You are right. This is a waste of time. Thank you anyway for your
answers. And print it nicely, fellow, or we’ll toss you out again.
Editor's Corner
Unfortunately, this is a very typical
Editor's Corner for Brian Cullen. He thinks himself, as said above, the one and
only choice for each and every woman, and yes, he himself is obsessed with women.
Here we go...
Dear readers,
no, that must be dear MALE readers. Have you ever noticed the enticing sight
that our women offer to our eyes in almost every shop you visit? No? That’s
perhaps because you are all wizards.
Now you will ask why that is an impediment to be fascinated by women. Don’t
misunderstand me: in general it isn’t, but what you miss is the sight of
thousands of pairs of legs in tights and short skirts hurrying through Muggle
shops and offices. It’s common in the Muggle world that women, female employees,
wear skirts by way of uniform. By the way, girls at Hogwarts also wear skirts
under their robes, remember? Ah, the legs of Cinna… But now I’m losing my thread.
If you ever get the chance to go to Muggle London, have a look at the skirts –
and the legs, and the girls in general. And then, dear male readers, have a look
at the young men in the street. You’ll see their happy smiles – I’ve never seen
so many delighted faces in my life as in that one stroll through Oxford Street.
My idea is, dear male readers, dear fellow wizards, to petition for skirts or/
and short robes for female employees. Even waiting for a Ministry hearing would
be much sweeter if under the desk the nicely shaped legs of the secretary were
to be seen, wouldn’t it? Join my campaign, wizards!
Yours in heartfelt comradeship,
Brian Cullen
Now, skip to the Test-section and see if you're fit already!
English Course
III
Tenses are a nightmare! We happen to know that very well, and rest assured:
Nobody but foreigners and news speakers use all their tenses correctly. Usually
you’ve got the occasional slip or two. However, you shouldn’t let that make you
too happy. It’s basically stupid to try and tell something in past tense that
will happen in the future. People are sure to misunderstand. So, here’s a brief
brush-up for your tenses:
1. Past Perfect Progressive
Look: had + been + infinitive + ing
Use: emphasizing the length of an action that’s so far in the past nothing came
before it
2. Past Perfect
Look: had + 3rd verb form
Use: telling people what had happened before an action in the past
3. Past Progressive
Look: was/ were + infinitive + ing
Use: length of an action in the past that is definitely over
4. Simple Past
Look: 2nd verb form
Use: for everything absolutely past and done
5. Present Perfect Progressive
Look: have/ has + been + infinitive + ing
Use: you want to emphasize the length of an action starting in the past with
influence on the present
6. Present Perfect
Look: have/ has + 3rd verb form
Use: something starts in the past but has influence on the present
7. Present Progressive
Look: am/ are/ is + infinitive + ing
Use: telling people what is happening right now
8. Simple Present
Look: infinitive, plus an ‘s’ when used in third person singular (i.e. he, she,
it)
Use: everything you do usually, often, never, sometimes…
9. Will-future
Look: will + infinitive
Use: spontaneous decisions, predictions, Divination
10. Going-to-future
Look: am/ are/ is + going to + infinitive
Use: personal plans for your future
And to make matters even more complicated, there are certain other grammatical
features you need to know:
1. Conditional Clauses
If you like maths formula, you’ll love those. You’ve got three types of
Conditional Clauses, and they always function the same way. So relax and enjoy
and just learn the formula to get things right.
| type | If-clause | Main clause | Meaning |
| I | s. present | Will/ can + infinitive | Can happen, definitely possible |
| II | s. past | Would/ could/ might + infinitive | Might perhaps happen, but is not entirely certain |
| III | Past perfect | Would/ could/ might + have + 3rd verb form | Definitely impossible, no way this could ever happen |
2. Gerund
A nice and easy thing for you here. You’ve got a gerund when you add an ‘ing’ to
your infinitive. A gerund is a verb turned to be a noun. Like in ‘I like
swimming.’ Nice and easy.
3. Participles
Nice topic, really. And really useful. Let u see. You’ve got the Active
Participle (a.k.a. Present Perticiple). You’ve met the fellow already in all
those progressive-forms above. It’s the –ing-form of the verb, and you use it
when wanting (haha!) to shorten a relative clause, or when you want to describe
something (beaming smile, for instance). The Passive Participle (a.k.a. Past
Participle) is also known to you as the third verb form in the irregular verbs
(hm… we should test you on those…). Used (tatata!) in the same way as its
brother, it’s just showing that the subject in question doesn’t do this action
itself. Passive, you get our meaning?
Alright, you lot, that’s about all you need to know for today. Chop-chop
to the Test Section and see what you have remembered. Oh, and please do the BBT
first. And… We shall know if you know your basic grammar. Believe us, we shall
know. And you’ll get a howler for a “will” or a “would” in the if-clause.
Magical Mammals
Here is the section in which you will learn all about the origin of the magical world. If you have ever asked yourself where you did come from, why you lived in houses and why certain families do posess a house elf while others don't, these are the texts for you.
Let yourself be taken aback as you are taken back in time. Stop and watch in awe how things used to be and learn why things are the way they are today. Take garden gnomes for a walk, feed the giants and watch your ancestors.
The Origin of the Witch
Some 10 million years ago Propliopitheca stood up and made it possible for Propliopitheca maga to develop, because she was the first speciwoman who had his hands free to use a tool. The hand developed into something that could grip something else. Propliopitheca maga found out that a special tool, virga magica, helped her to perform magic. That happened some 600 000 years ago.
In the following millions of years different witches developed: The earliest was maga erecta erecta some 550 000 years ago. She was followed by maga erecta heidelbergensis some 500 000 years ago. At approximately the same time some 400 000 years ago maga erecta pekinensis and mauretanica appeared.
Maga sapiens neandertalensis appeared some 250 000 years ago. 150 000 years later she moved into caves where she met the cave elf (nympha cavernica) whom she domesticated. Another 100 000 years after that they moved into houses.
The first houses looked a lot like tents and indeed our foremothers used to be quite fond of camping. They used to move a lot, a trait of character which is preserved to this day in maga sapiens britannica and america.
Knowing all these facts, it is surprising that the first potions came up only some 4 500 years ago when people started using cauldrons made of bronze. What followed was a rapid development of different potions and poisons. Some of the very oldest recipes could be preserved to this day, however, most of them are lost. Today scientists try to reconstruct mixtures by analysing the finds in the earliest of magical settlements.
Other scientists try to create new potions regardless of the doings of our foremothers. This is very much a process of trial and error and the most famous wizards to do so certainly are Fred and George Weasley (Fredericus et Georgicus Mustellus).
The Domestication of the House Elf
The cave elf (nympha cavernica) was domesticated by the Neandertalian witch (maga sapiens neandertalensis). Or you might argue that it was the other way round. The cave elf – as is indicated by her name – used to dwell in a cave (caverna simplex). And in fact, she had done so long before maga sapiens neandertalensis decided that life would be much better with something to keep the rain from falling on her head. Some 100 000 years ago the Neandertalian witch moved into a cave. There she formed a cave-sharing with the inhabitants.
To understand what happened next, it is helpful to know the story of Oscar and Felix with Oscar taking the place of the witch and Felix the one of the elf. Not being used to a life inside maga sapiens neandertalensis continued her usual way of life. She dropped her waste and dirty socks wherever she was. In contrast, the cave elf had gathered a lot of experience during the past few centuries. She well knew that home was sweet and there was nothing like it only when it was clean. Anyone who ever tried to make an unwilling Neandertalian witch clean will know that this is close to a Sisyphean task. The cave elf gave up and cleaned and tidied up the cave herself.
Some 50 000 years ago the witch decided to move out of the cave and into a nice little house (domus placidus). However, soon she found that home wasn’t sweet and there was really nothing like it in the worst of senses. Scientists quarrel about the way in which the Neandertalian witch persuaded the cave elf to change habitats. But, that this happened is a fact. Finds prove that the witch and the cave elf shared caves. Other finds and the current situation prove that the elf followed the witch.
Soon – to be exact after the first person died – heavy quarrels started: Who would get the house elf (nympha domestica as the cave elf was called now)? The Ministry of Magic (ministerium publicum arti magicae) passed a law (the Passing Down of House Elves Act) that said that the elf had to go to the same person as the house. This happened for a simple reason. A house elf is needed to clean the house: If you don’t have a house, you won’t need a house elf either. Besides the house elf refused to live outdoors and would return to her home. She’s pretty much like a cat in that respect.
You must know that this wasn’t a one-sided relationship. It wasn’t only good for the witch. The house elf had advantages, too. Maga sapiens neandertalensis protected first the cave and then the house elf. This wasn’t at all a bad idea for as long as the talkative giant (gigas loquax) was around. Scientists are convinced that it was her who first blabbed about the elves’ whereabouts to maga sapiens neandertalensis.
The fact that the elf sticks to her home makes it difficult to breed her naturally. After a few generations of inbreeding (propagatio regia) you will get a stupid and incapable elf (nympha frutex). Owners decided to use artificial means to produce a new elf. Female and male elf are selected according to their qualities. Nowadays, obedient and diligent elves are preferred. In the past, there have also been especially clever elves, but they soon got bored and so it was decided to stick to obedience and diligence when it came down to house elves.
Apart from trying to make them cleverer certain people tried to free the elf. Last century saw the Emancipated Elf, the Manumissionists and SPEW. Unfortunately, neither of them was very successful due to the fact that a house elf does like what she is doing. Campaigns to secure the rights of the house elf are not known. In contact with the elf you should always consider that she is a living being just like you are (or were if you happen to be a ghost). Treat them in a kind way, be polite and modest in your wishes. They deserve this just as much as you do.
Magical History
After the raving success of Brush Up Your Idiots’ classes on Muggle mysteries
and English grammar (also a mystery to many people), broom’s staff have decided
to start a new class: Magical History. Since neither Brian Cullen nor Mike
Flatley ever paid attention to the words of Professor Binns, whether being a
solid human being or a translucent ghost, broom desperately needed a new staff
member and is proud to announce that renowned magical historian Rupert Wood
agreed to inform the readers on Magical History. Rupert wants to start with the
earliest examples of magic he has come across so far, namely the famous caves of
Lascaux in France.
The Lascaux Caves
When in 1940 archaeologists found these caves in France, they
were astounded by the sheer magnificence of the paintings done by seemingly
ancient people: the Cro-Magnon-people. They were ancestors of the present humans
and they were known to paint animals, hunting scenes, and magical scenes on the
walls of caves. However, those caves, the Muggles thought, were never used as
residences but only for religious and/or magical ceremonies.
Actually the Muggles did touch on the real core behind those caves (and numerous
others in various other countries). When they concluded that the pictures of the
beasts represented a kind of hunting charm, they were very close to the truth.
That led to a so far outstanding campaign of mind-wiping initiated by the French
Ministry Of Magic. For if Muggles got to know the truth about those caves, the
magical community would be in great danger.
So, if the Muggle explanation is wrong, then who or what created the caves?
According to Muggle tests, those caves are several ten thousands of years old.
And, make no mistake, that is entirely true. The paintings are that ancient.
Only – it was neither Muggle nor human who created them. For the magical
historian it is absolutely obvious that only giants could have created the
paintings and the caves themselves. Even in our days, giants live in caves. Our
present-day giants, however, lost all their sense of beauty. That is a sad
development for which wizards are responsible.
In the days when the Lascaux Caves were painted, there were very few humans.
Most of them were Muggles, but there were some wizards and witches among them as
well who did the charm-work for everyone who asked them. The giants did at
times, an when you find a person with the head of a beast in one of the caves,
it’s a crude depiction of a wizard turning into an animal, i.e. an animagus.
Giants an humans lived peacefully next to each other, occasionally helping out
with things the others did not have or could not get.
When the number of humans increased, the number of giants, due to climate
changes, stagnated. Gradually, humans turned suspicious to the giants, even were
afraid of them. Especially humans coming from giant-free areas reacted strongly
to the seeming threat of the giants. In a long process, the giants were driven
out of human company and into caves. But that seemed not enough. The humans
started to do raids on the giants, so that they had to change their habitats
frequently. It was not possible to keep a cave. Consequently the giants gave up
painting the caves and grew ever more vigilant towards humans. This development
ended in our present-day situation: humans and giants live in a state of
hostility. Giants lost all their abilities of arts and most crafts, too, since
they saw no reason to adopt human ways when the humans were so vicious.
The pre-historical caves were therefore initially the work of giants. But the
Muggles must never know about this, and so giant footsteps are either hushed up
or explained away as some even more ancient footsteps of hominids. Bless Muggles
for their ignorance! (RW)
The Legend of the Plague Virgin
Admittedly, broom’s own historian Rupert Wood moves through the ages at great
speed. However, considering the fact that avian influenza created a panic and
the WHOOM (Wizarding Health Organization of Maladies) warns that there might
come a severe epidemic of either a mutated known disease or a completely new
one, Rupert and your most reverent editors agreed to go right from the stone age
caves into the late Middle Ages. Here we go.
The plague did not strike Europe for the first time in 1347. Yet that outbreak,
known as the Black Death, met a population that had not encountered the plague
bacillus Y. pestis for nearly 600 years. Fertile ground for any germ, and this
one in particular. People had no idea of how to stop plague, let alone to heal
the sick. Millions of people died in just four years throughout the then-known
world.
No wonder that in a situation closely resembling the horrific scenarios of the
apocalypse, misconceptions, legends, and extreme reactions flourished. Most
notorious was a surge of anti-Semitism based on the rumour that a world-wide
Jewish conspiracy to poison wells had brought plague upon Christendom. Even
though the Jews, too, succumbed to plague, the by far greater number of them
suffered death at the hands of their Christian fellow citizens. Lepers often
faced the same fate.
In such a heated atmosphere, superstition and black magical practices found a
huge market. Undoubtedly many witches and wizards were able to make a fortune
out of Muggle fears, although they, too, fell prey to Y. pestis.
Reading contemporary accounts of the plague, you will find the typically
mediaeval mix of misunderstood magic and Christian rhetoric. But one legend
sticks out of the usual: that of the plague virgin. It originated in Germany, in
Bavaria, to be precise, in the plague-ridden summer of 1349. People thought that
the plague virgin took the form of a blue flame that emerged from the mouths of
the dead. It needed only to extend its hand to kill people.
Although it is asserted that the Unforgivable Curses were first used a century
later, we might have found a precursor here. Whatever magic it was, it killed
immediately and left no trace – except for the blue flame. Recent research has
shown that the Dark Arts, already on an unprecedented high vogue of support
during the plague, were a subject in change. Plague presented the ideal
background for developing a killing curse – people died left, right and centre
anyway, so some victims to dark magic did not register.
However, Muggles preserved the uncomfortable notion that some alleged plague
deaths were caused by some otherworldly being. Christian legend being what it
is, the adversary had to be a demon. Magical history being what it is, we can be
certain that the plague virgin was a group of witches and wizards practising a
killing curse. Although the curse obviously worked, it left a trace and was
therefore abandoned as soon as Avada Kedavra had taken its place. (RW)
Muggle Magic
Many witches and wizards do wonder how the muggle world works, well, we must admit that it doesn’t always work, but most of the time it does – somehow. In this section, muggle magic, we here at broom would like to take a closer look at muggle phenomena which shouldn’t work without magic and yet do.
Why don’t you accompany us on our journey through the technology of the muggle world and by that learn to understand how their world turns and what makes it do so! We as wizards and witches are, of course, not always sure to grasp all dimensions of certain phenomena but we promise to do our best.
Fly high, up in the sky…
We know why a broom flies, however, what keeps an airplane from falling down is a complete mystery to us! Especially since birds seem to use a different technique to fly or have you ever seen an airplane flap its wings?
All planes have either a propeller or jets or a car. These three things have the same function: They make the plane move. This is a vital point since without movement no plane would be able to fly.
You can check it for yourself: What happens if something moves? You get a draught. Normally this would be a bad thing, but not if you want a plane to fly. Which takes us nicely back to the topic of planes.
The vital parts of a plan are its wings. They are constructed in a special way the underside is flat while the top surface is curved. The draught is faster on the top surface than on the underside.
The velocity of the draught decides about the pressure. If the velocity is high, the pressure is low and vice versa. These two different pressures create a lift and the plane will eventually take off.
Well, we here at broom are quite happy that brooms work magically, just imagine they would need wings? What a mess that would be on the Quidditch pitch…
Rise like a rocket, fall like a stick…
This time we here at broom venture forth to a place where we have never been before: outer space. It is a fact that you cannot travel to the outer space magically but have to fall back onto muggle means of transport.
Obviously, a rocket is the thing you need. A rocket looks like the body of a plane without the wings. Another difference is that the rocket starts vertically and not horizontally. But why is that so?
A rocket needs a certain velocity, namely 11,2 km/s, to be able to leave the earth. Of course, it isn’t that fast from the beginning, however, compared to the highest velocity of a plane, namely 900 km/h or 0,25 km/s, it’s 44,8 times faster.
There wouldn’t be enough space for a rocket to leave the earth horizontally. Another point is that the way is shorter if it lifts off vertically. So how does it fly, without wings?
A rocket doesn’t need wings for it is pushed away from the earth. Wings only work if you don’t fly vertically, because they drag you in the direction of its wings’ top surfaces.
Fly high, up in the sky…but, what’s if there is no sky?
Sky is air – well, at least sort of. Outer space you don’t have air but will find a vacuum. A vacuum is a term describing the state that there is nothing there, or as we magic people would say: It’s empty. However, without air, there will be no draught either.
Since it is empty there are no things to stop the rocket. You could switch off the engine and just let it move on. By using different jets in various positions you can decide in which direction you want to go. Again the rocket is pushed.
However, if you get too close to a planet or other big object, it’s gravity will make you move towards it. The earth will cause an acceleration of 9,806 m per s2, for example. So you should accelerate more than this if you don’t intend to crash. Then again, you might want to return to the earth.
This is where shuttles come in. A rocket will just fall onto the earth as will any other object as long as it doesn’t have wings. Wings will eventually slow down your fall for the same reason for that planes fly.
Why muggles clean the universe…
Now that you know what a vacuum is you should learn what a vacuum cleaner is – or rather how it works. To answer the first question: a vacuum cleaner is a mechanical broom – uh, sorry, broom. At first we here at broom didn’t understand the concept since we knew what a vacuum was.
Just to remind you: a vacuum is something which is completely empty – why clean that? If something is completely empty then there is no dust. Plus if something is completely empty nobody lives there – so why clean at all?
Now, the idea behind it is that you use a vacuum cleaner to clean your home. So it is a home cleaner, basically. However, you cannot clean anything with it. Among the things you can clean with it are: the floor, the curtains and the inside of your car. We’d like to use the term carpet-curtain-car-cleaner just so that there are no misunderstandings.
So, how does the carpet-curtain-car-cleaner work? First of all, unlike a broom and despite what we will say next, you cannot fly with it. You will be surprised to see that a vacuum cleaner works almost like a plane only the other way round. An engine works inside but this time it is used to draw in air instead of pushing it away.
Of course, you will understand that this is not its main purpose. This would be to draw in dust and dirt, which is, in contrast to the air, not let out again.
To us here at broom the only mystery, which is left, is why the carpet-curtain-car-cleaner is called a vacuum cleaner.
Muggle Magniloquence
In this section we here at broom would like to take a closer look at speech, muggle speech, and rhetoric, as a matter of fact. Anything that is or once was said or might be said in the future is predestined as a topic of this.
broom in Style
Actually, we owe this one to Anne who keeps pacing our office for hours repeating ‘onomatopoeia’. She has repeated it so often that we have no problem repeating it. You might have noticed that we here at broom are bright, unfortunately, we are not that bright and had to check the meaning and spelling in a dictionary. Onomatopoeia means to make a word out of a sound, which really exists, to describe this sound. Thud, is one example of this. Now we can think a lot here at broom, unfortunately, this one seems to be a technique, which we don’t use.
One technique we here at broom do use is alliteration. We don’t need a dictionary for this one. You find it in all of our broom Breaking News. It is to initiate each word with the same sound.
Using this technique, we here at broom come to allegory, which is something containing persons and situations which are symbols for purity, truth, patience – I think we don’t have to say much more about this one!
True to alliteration we’ll go over to anaphora. This happens if you use one word to refer back to another, previously mentioned word. It can be any word. If you do it the other way round it is called epiphora, even though our computer doesn’t know this one.
Since broom and anything related to it has not yet made it into the style catalogue we decided to ignore this part of the alphabet.
Epithet seems to be the right word to continue. It is the thing, which is added to a noun or name to describe its most important characteristic, like Brian the brilliant.
This takes us nicely to hyperbole, which is an exaggeration made for special effect and not to be taken literally, see example above.
Interestingly enough, it is also an example of irony. Saying what you think by uttering the contrary. Sorry, Brian!
Sticking to this example and only changing it a bit: Brian isn’t brilliant. That would be a litotes, an ironical understatement, which uses the negative to say Brian is stupid.
Let’s turn to Mike for a change to talk about a metaphor (please note the nice alliteration!). I’ll kick your ass, Mike! That is only or so long a metaphor as I don’t do it literally, but make him suffer in any other way.
To get back to broom, personification, which is to treat something as if it were human. The personification of stupidity would be Brian.
To finally get back to broom, pleonasm, the use of more words than would be necessary to utter the meaning of something – which you can very often observe in Mike’s articles.
This example also helps to explain tautology, to say the same thing in different ways needlessly.
Being back at broom – and this time really – a trope is an expression stating that a word was not used in its literal meaning but figuratively, like broom Breaking News. And isn’t it quite nice to have returned to broom for the last expression. We hope to have learned you something!
By the way, Anne said she was angry with someone and therefore repeating this word. We hope it's not us – or you! And neither you!