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Super Spring Snow

This spring season seriously saw another soft shower of splendid snow. It was not an early Easter that was dunk deeply into a cold cover of white flakes. The total temperature dropped down to a low below zero centigrade. Any adult and all offspring were clearly condemned to shiveringly shake while selectively searching for carefully coloured Easter eggs. This late layer of frozen flakes gave this Christian celebration a terrific

touch of – no, not Harry in the night – but cool Christmas. Privately some people gleefully got their fine fir trees back, changed the decoration completely, eggs wooden and otherwise included. Rumours report that even the one or the other publicly popular Christmas carol was proudly played to supremely stress the surreal snow.
Happy Whatever! (MF)

newbroom-e-gram

April 1 - April Fools' Day, of course, and it is fun to play tricks on everyone. We put glowing jelly into the dish on our terrace, and all the cats in the neighbourhood frightened their owners with brightly coloured tongues thereafter. (Note: Glowing jelly is not poisonous at all and does not harm cats or other living things.)
April 3 - It does seem as if the fools are still in rule. At least the German government gives the impression of being very foolish at the moment. They fight amongst each other like cats. Perhaps they could do with some glowing jelly, too.
April 8 - Happy birthday, dear Slave No.1, um, sorry,

Employee No. 1! Thanks for the rip-roaring party!
April 16 - Not much going on this month. The flowers are growing nicely, but the cold spell we had threatens their well-being enormously.
April 22 - Yes, we can say with pride that the May edition is already close to being finished. Aren't we geniuses?
April 24 - The May edition IS finished, hooray. Let's party until May!
April 30 - It is said that in the night before Mayday, witches and wizards fly to certain places on hills and so on to dance and celebrate. We decided to do the same. Great fun!

 

Ministers Got Talent

(broompire) Now the third episode of your most favourite show on earth and even in this universe is offering new insights into the world of politics. Magical politics that is. Today’s task actually only has little to do with the Muggle world of politics. Still it is an essential part of the daily life of wizarding or witching politicians. Let’s return to our two hosts Harriet Kettle-Stove and Leslie Pagana Greenacre.
“Welcome everyone to another exiting edition of Ministers Got Talent!” “Thank you, Harriet! A very warm welcome to you as well! Are you ready to join the candidates?” “I have never been readier, Leslie. In the meantime will you inform our viewers about today’s show?”
“Well, of course, you have already noticed that there are only two jurors tonight. May I introduce the Ministers Fudge and Thickness to you, although it probably is not necessary. Mr Thickness, what happened to tonight’s guest juror, Donald Tusk who is the head of state of Poland?” “Well, Miss Greenacre, unfortunately he couldn’t come as he currently is in Duck Tales.”
“Did I hear that correctly? He is caught in Duck Tales? Quite fittingly for tonight’s task. The candidates are already shivering for tonight’s task is long distance apparition. How do you feel about it, Mr Lockhart?” “Oh Harriet, if anything in my life had been as easy as this task…” “Long distance apparition is not easy!” “Hermione, do tell us more about it!” “Apparition itself is based on the three D’s: Destination, Determination and Deliberation.” “Oh, Hermione, there are so many D’s: Devotion, Denomination…” “…Direction, Disorientation…” “Brian and Mike, you are our bosses but you are worse than Fred and George Weasley!”
“You are quite right there, Harriet, but I would never tell them in their faces! I’m here with the jury. Sirs, you have chosen some destinations.” “Yes, at first we had done that but when we heard that our colleague Mr Tusk couldn’t make it to this place…” “…we decided to send the candidates over to his place. “ “That does sound interesting but how would you control it?” “We’ve got this nice Muggle device from Arthur Weasley. It’s called a …a…” “…a tellytone.” “Right, we’ve got this tellytone and we will call Mr Tusk every time one of the

 candidates has disapparated.”
“Harriet, are our candidates ready?” “Leslie, I even dare say they are ready, willing and maybe even able! Mr Crumlum you will be the first. And isn’t it amazing: on the word first he disapparated! Leslie, what do our jurors say?” “Harriet our jurors are on the tellytone. Ministers what does your colleague say?” “Wrong number.” “Here he is again, our dear Arsenio, there and back again!”
”Miss Trelawney, very beautiful if a bit short. Leslie, what does our jury say?” “Harriet there is some confusion in the jury on how the tellytone works. I hear something like your call cannot be connected.” “Well, be that as it may. We move on to Misters Cullen and Flatley who wanted to do this together.” “Unfortunately, the jury still cannot reach Mr Tusk in Duck Tales, but Harriet, what do Brian and Mike carry there?” “Leslie, they have got a tiny red cap. It seems they even had some time to do shopping for souvenirs or rather snaffling for souvenirs.”
“Hermione is next. And Lockhart follows her. Now only Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy are left – no, gone already. Everyone has gone now. Anything new from our guest juror?” “No, Harriet, I’m afraid not. The tellytone is still here but not working as it seems. Who is coming back?” “Leslie, we have Draco Malfoy back. There is Hermione and Gilderoy Lockhart as well. However, someone is missing. We’re still waiting for Miss Parkinson. Have you seen Miss Parkinson?”
”I’m afraid I haven’t. The jurors have just smashed the tellytone. Arthur will not like it. Oh, a quick repair spell has done the trick. Everything is fine Arthur. Jury, what do you say?” “Well, Miss Greenacre, as Miss Parkinson did not return, she did not pass the test and is out.” “Well, Leslie then we say good bye to Miss Parkinson, that is if we ever see her again.”
”Yes, Harriet, or hear from her again. I would suggest we also test the ability of future Ministers to use a Muggle tellytone.” “I do agree. Thank you for staying tuned into our programme!” “See you next month.”
In the next episode you will find out about the difficulties of giving an interview. We're very curious who will fare best. For this edition make sure not to miss this month’s interview. (HKS&LPG)

“Toot Toot”

(Duck Tales) Brian and Mike have snatched the tellytone of the former Ministers Fudge and Thickness and are now trying to call Mr Tusk. They got the number as well and are now busy dialling.
Brian: 0048 22 694 74…
Tellytone: toot toot
Mike: It should work now!
Tellytone: The number you have dialled is not available.
Mike: Let me try it. 0048 22 694 47…
Tellytone: toot toot
Brian: It works!
Tellytone: The number you have dialled has not been recognized.
Brian: censored
Tellytone: The number you have dialled has not been recognized.
Mike: You try again.

 Tellytone: The number you have dialled has not been recognized.
Brian: 0048 22 964 47…
Tellytone: toot toot
Mike: No, doesn’t work.
Tellytone: Yes?
Brian: This is Brian Cullen and Mike Flatley. Could we talk to Donald Tusk, please?
Tellytone: Sorry wrong number.
 Mike: No, no, don’t…
 Tellytone: toot toot toot
Mike: censored
Tellytone: toot toot toot
Brian: One last trial: 0048 22 946 47…
Tellytone: toot toot
Mike: Not again!
Tellytone: Your call cannot be connected.
Brian: This is pathetic!		 Tellytone: Your call cannot be connected.
Mike: Quite.
Tellytone: toot toot
Mike: One last time.
Tellytone: peep peep peep
Brian: toot toot
Tellytone: toot toot
Mike: peep peep peep
Tellytone: toot toot toot
Brian: That line is busy.
Tellytone: toot toot toot
Mike: And so are we!
Unfortunately, our editors Brian and Mike could not manage to make the tellytone work. We will not find out whether any of our candidates has ever been in Duck Tales visiting Donald Tusk the head of state of Poland. Maybe there’s better luck next time. (BC&MF)

Capability brown Is Turning In His Grave

(The Muggle World) As a Muggle and maybe even as a witch or wizard you will know that eccletricity plays an important role in the daily life of most people in the world. To many it is a mystery how this eccletricity works or how it gets to the respective households. Unfortunately, we cannot enlighten you on this topic but make you shake your heads even more.
On one of our extended strolls we came across a building site – in the middle of nowhere. At first we thought another house would be put up. However, no real street but only a country lane led to it. Well, streets can be built but they weren’t.
Day by day more cars came to the site. Day by day more people came to the site. One day saw the arrival of a landscape gardener. It must be a house then. After all you don’t usually built a landscape in the middle of a landscape.
A couple of days later we strolled along the parallel road which is located behind the tracks of a train and found out that there as

well a building site had been put up. Maybe a semi-detached house with an extremely good connection to the local train service.
After a while they put up a scaffold, actually two scaffolds – one on each side of the track. Our next considerations were connected to the amount of rainfall at this particular place. Maybe a roof was supposed to save the iron tracks from rusting.
You might well argue that the construction of a station would be much more likely. The only problem with this suggestion is that there already was a station 50 metres away. And in fact who would need a station in the middle of nowhere?!
Finally, we found out what was done there: the high voltage pylon was replaced. Now, we do understand that you need loads of people to fulfil such a task, however, why on earth do you need a landscape gardener? Capability brown is turning in his grave! (All)

The Joys of Public Transport

(Muggle World) Muggles cannot apparate, use floo powder or fly on broomsticks, yet they do manage to get from one place to another. Of course, walking is always an option, but walking does not get you to faraway places. A Muggle can drive a car, but what with the horrendous price of petrol, driving is expensive. Therefore, Muggles use what they call “public transport”.
Public transport means that a lot of Muggles use the same vehicle and pay for usage. You can travel by bus, train or tube depending on where you want to go. A lot of Muggles complain about public transport: trains are delayed, busses crammed, tubes dirty. We, however, find public transport great!
Being chauffeured everywhere gives you the opportunity to see a lot of things along your way you would not notice when driving by yourself. It also gives you tremendous opportunities to do something we gleefully indulge in: people watching. It’s a bit like whale watching, only whales are more rare, especially in public transport.
People watching allows you to see all kinds of humans of all ages. Take, for example, the young woman who, despite

 temperatures below zero and a forecast threatening with rain, wears open shoes and no socks! She did draw attention, and people were definitely smirking.
It’s also fun seeing people (in this case a young man) running up to the platform where a train is waiting, starting to dither, checking their ticket, only then asking people on the platform if the train went to the destination on their ticket. So far, interesting, if only mildly so. After being assured the train did go where he wanted to do, the young man (who, incidentally, was carrying a small barrel of beer at 7:40 am) tried to open the train’s door – and the train left! He was not pleased, but we were…
One of our all-time favourites is of course eavesdropping. You get to know EVERYTHING about people – mostly things you never even wanted to know. For example, you get to know about annoying habits of boyfriends, family feuds, shopping successes… Okay, sometimes it gets on our nerves.
All in all, though, Muggle public transport is an ingenious idea and good fun, provided you have a liking for the absurd! (BC&MF)

 

Sudoku
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Enjoy the sun and your sudoku, Severus!

Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.