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Yearning for the New Year

Very early on the first of January the new year began this year. Experts say that it was around midnight or shortly after that 2013 turned into 2014. Naturally, everyone was singing ‘Auld lang syne’ and drinking champagne. We sang a little bit too much and did have a little bit too much of the champagne – but just a little bit. Still enough not to be able to write a proper BBN.
Expectations are especially high and so is the energy. Proper plans are made alongside the restricted resolutions. We will all lose weight and start doing sports regularly. Additionally, and

extra for the editors of this monthly magazine: we will always write our reports and other features before the end of the month. Unfortunately, we haven’t quite made up which of these are real resolutions or pure plans. The course of the decade will decide.
Otherwise
, all is as swell as it could be. The sun is shining – at least where we were when writing this. And there is not a single cloud in the sky. Which leaves us to the sole wish that your year 2014 will be as bright and sparkling as this day is today. May you stick to your plans and some of your resolutions. (MF)

newbroom-e-gram
December 1st – In the Ukraine, thousands of people stand up against the pro-Russian politics of the current government. Many Ukrainians want to be closer to the EU than Russia. Interesting indeed – it might be another case for Resistance Rocks!
December 3rd – North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un had his uncle executed. Wake up, world, that is what dictators do! either stop him or stop wondering...
December 5 – In the NSA scandal, it is made public that all mobile phones had been tagged as well. As if that was news! We already knew that of course, thanks to our much more efficient magical spyware network.
December 6 – This is the day after the demise of Nelson Mandela, a true hero of our times. Rest in peace, Madiba!
December 10 – Uruguay legalised the possession and use of
marihuana. It will see the jolliest (albeit haziest) Christmas ever.
December 16 & 17 – In Austria and Germany, Great Coalitions take up work. Actually, the “great” is only in their size in numbers, not (probably) in any of their ideas.
December 23 – Russia’s president Putin actually lets some critics of his politics out of prison. This is definitely not a sign of his magnanimity but propaganda to support the upcoming Olympic Winter Games in Russia.
December 25 – MERRY CHRISTMAS! We sure had a merry one, the turkey a less merry one.
December 30 - A volcano in San Salvador erupted. However, the ashes did not manage to stop international airfare. So, the Icelandic volcano still takes the crown for pulling that stunt.
December 31 – New Year’s Eve, and that all day long… Hilarious, isn’t it?

The Magical Bachelor - Brian Wants a Wife!

(Hogsmeade) newbroom is happy to finally reveal this year’s exciting plans for a whole new series, focussing on the private happiness of editor Brian Cullen. Since Mike Flatley has been married to the lovely Miranda for some time now, it is high time for Brian to get settled as well, or else he will be the lonely uncle to turn up at family feasts and feel like a spare tire.
Therefore, Violet Vainglory has unearthed seven hopeful young women to compete for Brian’s affection. The whole scheme will work as follows: Brian will introduce himself to the lovely ladies and they will all spend some time together in the lovely wilderness of lovely, er, Dartmoor. Those who take Brian’s fancy will be invited for some special activities like picnics or some such. In the end the field will have narrowed down to two ladies who will each spend a week with our most eligible editor, who will then choose his prospective bride.
From next month onward, we will follow the dramatic

developments avidly, looking for scandalous details. But since waiting is so dreary, let us just have a quick peek at the list of ladies Violet compiled:
a. Rita Skeeter – competition in the journalistic stakes
b. Muriel Weasley – a bit elderly, but rather experienced
c. Penelope Clearwater – bright and sweet if a little young
d. Dolores Umbridge – the readers love the old bat, Merlin knows why…
e. Pomona Sprout – she’s got authority, might do Brian some good
f. Evangeline Evergreen – Witch Weekly’s Shiniest Hair Contest Winner
g. Katrina O’Shea – author of “Poison Ivy”, wants to sell her novel

You see, dear readers, this will be an exciting year and we can definitely promise that there will be love in the air! (VV)

“Dark times are lying ahead”

(The World) Every year we are waiting for the good things to come and when they come, we are not prepared for them. On the other hand there are the bad things for which we are never prepared. Wouldn’t it be good to be prepared for both good and bad in 2014? Right, only fortune-tellers or astrologers know what 2014 is up to and consequently we invited  the most famous astrologer: D. V. Nation.
BC: Thanks for taking the time to talk to us today and reveal most of the secrets for next year.
DVN: It’s my pleasure.
BC: So what do we have to be prepared for?
DVN: Dark times are lying ahead.
BC: Oh, my goodness. What will happen?
DVN: There will be two eclipses of the sun, one partial, one complete.
BC: Oh, right. Well, in what way will this affect us?
DVN: As a matter of fact it will only affect people who live in the Antarctica and in Northern America.

BC: That is interesting, why is that?
DVN: Because they are the only ones who will see it.
BC: I see…
DVN: No, you won’t see.
BC: What else lies ahead?
DVN: 2014 will be a time of great upheaval.
BC: Exciting, how do you know that?
DVN: Well, there will be the Olympic
Winter Games in Russia and there will be the referendum held in Scotland. Besides with all the upheavals going on at the moment…
BC: Right, maybe you didn’t quite catch it. The question is what are the stars saying.
DVN: Stars don’t say anything unless they are movie stars.
BC: What do you see in the stars?
DVN: Planets?
BC: Oh, this is no quiz. You are an astrologer.
DVN: That’s easy: Yes.
BC: So…
DVN: There will be a cure for baldness.
BC: How do you know?
DVN: Because scientists have found an enzyme that causes baldness.
BC:
Has this got anything to do with the stars?
DVN: Oh, this is more difficult. Let me se. ‘Has this got anything to do with the stars?’ – it’s a trick question, isn’t it. Do you reckon I could call a friend?
BC: No, what else?
DVN: More? Let me see. There will be two more saints?
BC: Yes, and we know all that because these are scheduled events for this year. Is there anything you can tell us which has not been written down already?
DVN: I’m afraid, no. I guess everything has been written down at one point or another.
BC: Then I will make a prediction for the new year: We will never invite you again.
DVN: Are you sure?
BC: Yes.

Well, still not well equipped for the new year, unfortunately, neither are we. Still we feel ready to part with one good piece of advice: never consult an astrologer. (BC)

Spring Cleaning

(The World) All around the world it is the custom to start anew with the beginning of the new year. This article will enlighten you on the topic of what to clean in and around your house so that you can start fresh and freshly into the new era.
Let’s start with the domain closest to you: your bedroom. Sometimes there is so much to do that you just can’t get to the most private of all places, your bed. You can wash the cushions – but careful, first read the label, sometimes you can’t wash a cushion – or put them into the dryer. The same goes for your duvet.
Then there is your mattress. Get the vacuum cleaner and suck all the dirt of the last year out of it. You might also consider turning it around. Just make sure there is no winter or summer side otherwise you might freeze the following night. Naturally, you will wash all the linen and everything.
While you have the vacuum cleaner at hand, take care of the floor. If it is a warm and sunny day, then open the windows and let in some fresh air. And mind you there is also dirt under the bed, no cheating!
There are other places which are neglected throughout the year: the attic and the cellar. In our case the attic is too cold at this

time of the year, however, the cellar has a cosy fireplace and the warmth is just as good as upstairs. Make sure to get rid of all the waste and clean the other things.
If you don’t look after the items in your cellar regularly, they will soon have turned into waste. If anything is not worth keeping, throw it away. If unsure, put it away to throw it away, should you need it the next couple of month be glad it’s still there if not, good bye.
Flower pots, yes, cleaning the flower pots should be on your list as well. Once the spring sun is out and about, there won’t be any time left. So, why not choose a nice and sunny day and get it done? You will be so glad once spring is really here!
Still not fed up with cleaning? What about your wardrobe, yes, the bad word was said or written rather and we’ll write it again: wardrobe. We all hate going through our wardrobe because it makes us feel badly how much we have gained during the last couple of years. And we are not talking about respect here.
Make others happy and donate the items that are still good for use and only dispose of those that really can’t be used for anything any longer. Not only think of others but also consider our environment. And if it’s not fun, stop it and wait for a better moment. (All)

Horrorscope 2014

Capricorn (22.12.-20.01.) – There is no time like the present, so use it. Merlin’s beard, all the time you’ve wasted complaining adds up to a lifetime of unused possibilities.
Aquarius (21.01.-19.02.) – You surely deserve to reap what you have sown. So lean back and take in the harvest – what it is like, depends on your previous actions.
Pisces (20.02.-20.03.) – Would you like to be someone else? Yes? Well, then it’s probably time to take stock of your situation and change what needs changing.
Aries (21.03.-20.04.) – Feeling blue? Get a grip on yourself and in no time at all inspiration will strike and make all the dire stuff seem radiant. You’ll be fine this year!
Taurus (21.04.-21.05.) – Sometimes people feel as if they are attracting evil. You might well be among them in the next year, but only if you managed to annoy lots of people.
Gemini (22.05.-22.06.) – You will have to have your wits about you for all the struggles you will be facing. Keep calm and carry on, though – there is no alternative anyway.

Cancer (23.06.-23.07.) – If you take on any more tasks, you will undoubtedly break down. On the other hand, do as you wish, the crystal ball predicts a breakdown anyway.
Leo (24.07.-23.08.) – You’re a lucky one! Whatever you touch will work out fine. Enjoy your success while it lasts.
Virgo (24.08.-23.09.) – New challenges will replace your irksome troubles. Sometimes it is better to cut something off entirely before embarking towards new horizons.
Libra (24.08.-23.10.) – Although you will be given much more responsibility, you will thrive with it instead of feeling overtaxed. You will simply enjoy the hassle, so go for it!
Scorpio (24.10.-22.11.) – You can try to avoid awkward situations, but try as you might, you always stumble into them. With good grace, you can still manage to look less foolish than you feel.
Sagittarius (23.11.-21.12.) – So you want to change your life? Then get active for once and grab at the straws you are handed. You are in danger of losing your last friends.

Sudoku

5

9

2

6

7

3

1

8

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1

 

 

 

 

 

7

 

 

6

  7

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

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7

 

 

 

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8

7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4

 

 

7

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

 

Let's start the New Year right with a Sudoku tonight, Severus!


Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.