broom Breaking News

Happy Birthday newbroom!

(Hogsmeade & London) Once again, we can celebrate – and we will have a big bash in both lovely locations of newbroom offices.
After eight years of successfully removing ministers from office (one is clinging to his seat with desperate fervour – but you’ll be soon gone, Mr de Maizière) and keeping you updated on our own and other people’s magical adventures, we are very happy

to be able to look back on more than a year in broompire. Our extended network and its very successful shows have really paid off – both for you and for us. We intend to keep going strong, no matter what happens.
So we really need to say: THANK YOU for keeping up with us and reading on. We really appreciate your support. (MF&BC)

 

 

newbroom-e-gram

 June 1 - Honestly, this supposed summer is not much fun. We went up to the castle to get a predicition of the likelihood of better weather, but Sybil Trelawney was not very sure whether there would ever be a summer again, and Firenze said centaurs did not care about things as unimportant as the weather.
June 13 - This might well be the only day of summer. However, in the office in Hogsmeade - the garden office, if you remember - we managed to grow strawberries and so on, so it's nice there all the time. Pity we are working mostly from Diagon Alley lately.
June 21 - Meteorologically, this day marks the beginning of

summer. As summer solstice, it is definitely a day of great magical power. Truly. It's not made up by the weirdos convening at Stonehenge and chanting. Whatever magic your try on a solstice day is more likely to work well. We tried, it's true!
June 25 - By nagging about the weather we forgot to prepare our own network's birthday party, what a shame! We pressed our employees-slaves-whatever into service and now they can see to it we have a big bash on July 1st.
June 30 - Without any idea whether the party is under way, we at least managed to get another edition of newbroom pieced together. We are the best, aren't we?

The Muggle Camp: I’m not a Muggle - Get me out of here!

(Bury St. Dorothy) June is over and we have all been very curious whether our dear candidates managed to return safely to their home in Bury St. Dorothy. Over there are Harriet and Leslie to tell us more about the past events.
“What a trip this has been, Harriet!” “You are so right, Leslie! What did you hate most?” “I guess it was the moment when the heavy rain set in and this huge lorry passed the group by and gave them a shower. What about you?” “Yes, that was a horrible moment, but I think it was not much worse than the instance when Gilderoy took off his shoes. The smell almost made the others faint and he claimed that the herb was good against sweaty feet, but it stank so much itself that I'd prefer sweaty feet as a matter of fact.” “Urgh, me too. That clearly was none of Severus' secret recipes!”
“So, Leslie, what has happened after last month's episode?” “Well, our candidates had to find their way home from the bus station. This was not very easy for them as they had reached a part of the town they didn't know and, naturally, they were in no possession of a map.” “Consequently, they had to do a lot of walking, isn't that so, Leslie?” “Yes, you are quite right, Harriet.”
“Our viewers missed a little something here because it seems there are soft relations forming between two of our candidates.” “Are they single or married, Harriet?” “One is single and the other one is married, Leslie.” “Well, then we will have at least one viewer who is particularly interested in the fate of the group this time!”
“And although they managed after a couple of hours and in darkness and rain to reach their house we will have to say good bye to one of them today, Leslie.” “Yes, it is a pity, isn't it. As you will be well aware we have already invited the candidate to join us and here she is.” “Excuse me, could you please tell my where I am – and while you are at it what I am doing here.” “Certainly, Miranda. You are in Bury St. Dorothy because you took part in the Muggle Camp. Unfortunately people have voted you out of it that means you have to return home.” “That is nice, but where do I live?” “Don't worry, we will take you there safely!”
“And there she goes guarded by Leslie. Of course, you will be very curious what our candidates are up to next. As a matter of fact it is a task that has become quite urgent during the last couple of weeks but finally here they are cleaning their new home the Muggle way without the use of any magic.”
“I'm not sure whether I'm allowed to use this. It says 'magical cloth'. What do you think, Arthur?” “Don't worry about it, Irma. It is a Muggle product. They just gave it the adjective 'magical'

to sell it for more money. You will still have to scrub yourself.” “But don't you think we might be falling for a trick in this case?” “No, I've read some articles about the use of the adjective 'magical' in Muggle advertisement. As a matter of fact they seem to be quite fond of it. We'll just unpack it and then you will see for yourself, that there is nothing special about it. See, doesn't move on its own and when you move it yourself you obviously need some sort of detergent to get rid of the dirt.” “But which one should we choose, Arthur?” “Steam detergent, no, there's no steam to be cleaned around here; biological powder detergent, no, no biological powder to be cleaned either, tropical oasis, no tropical oasis to be cleaned either, universal cleaner, no, we don't want to clean the whole universe, ph neutral liquid detergent, no, ah, here we go travel and holiday hand wash detergent.”
“But could you imagine to give an extended interview?” “No, Rita.” “But, Gwenog, think of the publicity.” “I don't need any more publicity. People are screaming whenever I come in sight. What do you think why I am here? Peace, I just want peace. So clean on. Over there is still a spot. These onions in the water are really great for cleaning the windows.” “Well, what about giving household tips?” “Clean on Rita.”
“The kitchen, I always think it is the heart of any home.” “Well, usually, I would agree but this looks like a different organ if you ask me, Dolores.” “Unfortunately you are quite right. Do you reckon that house elves are forbidden as well.” “I'm afraid so but maybe we should risk it in this case.” “Maybe this helps: Chefs Larder hygiene detergent sanitiser.” “Sounds good, Dolores, let me see. No, it says it is empty. Damn.” “Oh, let's try it with this one, Cornelius.” “Pink rose.” “Isn't that lovely?” “But it says dish detergent.” “Pink rose, Cornelius, please.” “Well, if you want to...” “I do.” “Dolores...”
“Locking me in the bathroom with a toothbrush. Clean the toilets, Gilderoy. You have to make up for something, Gilderoy. It's better if you are out of our way, Gilderoy. A toothbrush. Never ever in my life did I have to clean anything with a toothbrush – except my teeth, of course, Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award did not come out of the blue. I had to work hard for it.”
“There is something going on in the house, Harriet.” “And hopefully it will go on for a little longer.” “You are right, otherwise we won't be able to see how our dear friends have to taste some of the most disgusting Muggle food Britain can offer!” “Urgh. So the story continues just as horribly as it has ended today.” “Yes, that is what broompire is famous for.” (LPG & HKS)

  Strange happenings…

(The World) broompire has of course long since successfully conquered the internet. However, this does not seem to be the case for various other people. And guess what? Muggles only now realize that they can manipulate the web!
In the second-but-last week of June, US president Barack Obama visited Germany. Only a short time before that visit, an American guy had told the world that – surprise, surprise – the US secret services were watching the web and spying on everyone using internet programs. Not that we were surprised – after all, this is like watching the Floopowder network, isn’t it? But apparently the Muggles think it a scandal and an unthought-of provocation. And German chancellor Angela Merkel told the world that she hoped this situation would be rectified, remarking in passing that the internet was pretty much unknown territory to her. Excuse us? Unknown territory when she is using it all the time?

But the American president could just smile nonchalantly and think “up yours”, because almost the next day the British secret service was revealed to do exactly what the US one had done. Our guess now is that only the Germans are too stupid to watch over internet users as their Anglo-Saxon neighbours do. If the chancellor is unable to use the web competently, how should her minions be capable of manipulating it?
But something is really worrying: In the USA, supposedly the country of freedom, people who leak information on state matters are tried for treason. This is not surprising as such, of course – that is what treason is supposed to be, leaking classified information. However, the man telling the world of the abuse and torture in Iraq done by US-soldiers is tried for treason and will probably spend the rest of his life in jail. The perpetrators who did the crimes, though, got pardoned. Freedom? Well, it depends on your perspective, we guess. (MF&BC)

There is More to Come!

(broompire headquarters) This month we managed to fit one of the rare interviews into our busy schedules and managed to get an appointment with us. Read on and find out about out plans for the future.
nB: Gentlemen, it's good to have you here!
BC&MF: Thank you for inviting us!
nB: Naturally, you are here becuase our readers are quite curious what will happen next in newbroom and of course broompire - not to forget about our private lives.
BC&MF: So many questions packed into one! We hardly know where to start. Well, our baby newbroom, which is also the baby of some other people who we are enormously grateful to will continue to exist. Every month we will delight the public with another edition of our someteimes absurd news and stories. The next big step will be the grand finale of The Muggle Camp.
nB: And you have already revealed that

the next year will see another even better show!
BC&MF: That is absolutely true. This - as a matter of fact - takes us directly to our private lives. As you will well know one of us has long been bound to a significant other while the other has enjoyed all the luxuries of a single life. This is about to change soon! And from next year onwards he will first enjoy the mating season and then if all goes well a married life for the rest of his life.
nB: Brian, I think you turned a bit pale here. Did you think long about aking your private lives itno the public?
BC&MF: No, we have always led relatively public lives with most people knowing what was going on in our past and present. So far we have been kindly received and hope that this will continue in the future. on the other hand we make sure that our closest friends and supporters are not pushed to publicity unless they want to.
nB: Nine years ago you started with the first edition of your monthly magazine. 		Are you surprised that you rule a whole media empire now?
BC&MF: Probably surprised is not the right word. It has always been our goal to creat something big and influential. An apparatus to reveal the truth. To tell people what was going on in there word and to encourage them to fight inequality, injustice and anything unfair. To tell the truth this has always been more important than building up a big company and we are prouder of all the politicians we helped to send to retirement than the figures on our bank account.
 nB: Remains the question where is more?
BC&MF: As long as we pay our taxes no one else should worry about that.
nB: Only you, the tax office and God know?
BC&MF: We don't know about God, but the tax office certainly does.
We would like to express our special thanks to Brian Cullen and Mike Flatley who were so generous as to share some of their precious time with us! (MF & BC)

 

Sudoku

8

 

7

3

 

  

4

  

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

  

 

7

3

    

7

  

 

 

 

2

 

  

 

 

 

 

  

7

 

5

 

  

 

7

 

 

 

  
 

7

 

 

 

 

 

 

4

4

 

 

 

  

7

  

 

  

 

 

  

 

 

 

 7

 

 

7

5

9

1

4

3

 2

6

 8

What else can you do in this weather, Severus!

Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.