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The Cool Knitting Kind

Peaceful penguins plead for help and asked for pretty pullovers. Plenty of people – the cool knitting kind – busily produced whole packages of pullovers. You may mark that penguins live at the pole and frequently don’t freeze. These perfect pullovers don’t protect against temperatures but occasionally spilt oil. When a tiny tanker sinks the oil it contains is washed into the water. As oil is lighter than H2O it swims on the surface. Still penguins not only parade on top of the water, however,

whenever they pleasantly peep out of the public pool, the oil is fixed to the feathers. Penguins are probably pretty neat specimen and use their beaks to carefully clean their plumage in doing so they eventually eat but definitely can’t digest the oil. The pullover keeps them from picking the oil and consequently saves their lives. Are we glad that whales have no beaks or feathers just imagine how long you would have to knit for them. (MF)

newbroom-e-gram

September 5 Our ideas for September are taking hold on us. A bad summer cold, does too.

 September 30 The cold persistently kept its fingers upon us, but here's newbroom... ATISHU!!!

 

Ministers Got Talent

By now, the field of contestants has narrowed down to three - the decision is definitely drawing near, but all we can say so far is that the future Minister for Magic is going to be male. Now Harriet Kettle-Stove and Leslie Pagana-Greenacre are on stage to find out who the lucky two will be to enter the final contests. Open the curtain for the semi-final!
Leslie, here we are again, with just three contestants left to vie for the post of Minister for Magic!
Yes, Harriet, only Arsenio Crumlum, Brian Cullen and Mike Flatley are left to be seriously considered as serious candidates for the top job.
Today's task, Leslie, calls for a very diplomatic candidate indeed, and since diplomacy is an art cultivated in France, who better-suited as guest juror than former French Prime Minister Nicolas Sarkozy?
Harriet, nobody could be better! M. Sarkozy proved that he could charm the German chancellor into saving Europe single-handedly and driving Germany's finances into a dizzying downward spiral in the process.
Right, Leslie, and he managed to disentangle himself from an infamous law trying to force the french to teach their kids that the French colonial expansion was a great and faultless civilizing mission - which is blatant nonsense, of course. But these diplomatic feats definitely qualify him as judge.
Harriet, what is our task today?
Well, Leslie, imagine this: a dragon has caused damage in a Muggle village, and you need to appease the Muggles while smoothing down the outrage following the breech of the Dragon Secrecy Statute. It needs a skilled diplomat to get out of this mess.
It sure does, Harriet. Here comes Mike. He gets two minutes to

think about the problem, then he has to speak. Ah, now... So he calls for Obliviators and simply dismisses the head of the Control of Magical Creatures Department. Effective, but will it be enough?
We shall see, Leslie. Brian is next. He thinks longer than allowed... Oh, gosh! He cannot be serious! He tries to sell a special anti-dragon insurance policy to the Muggles, the proceeds of which shall be used to fund more dragon-keepers. The jury is appalled.
Arsenio is next, Harriet, I wonder what he will say.
He wants to pay for all damages and promises to pay for more dragon-keepers all over Great Britain, Leslie. Hm. Does money really make the world go round?
Now, Harriet, don't be so pessimistic! Arsenio also wants to call in Obliviators and build more dragon-safe fences. Interesting! It seems the new fences are meant to be unplottable and permanently Muggle-repelling, a real innovation, that.
Leslie, the jury is still talking. M. Sarkozy seems to try to convince his fellow jurors, look at his gestures!
Harriet, here they are, ready to voice their decision. Who will be the next contestant to leave?
As Mr. Fudge says, Leslie, it was a hard decision. All solutions can be seen as valid, but unfortunately Brian Cullen's idea was the least practicable. That means we have to say goodbye to Brian.
Yes, Harriet, and it means that in the next round Mike Flatley and Arsenio Crumlum will enter the first of two final challenges, which will lead to the decision about the new inhabitant of the minister's office.
Join us for the first part of the final, dear readers, in our history-making show to find ourselves a capable Minister for Magic!

Short Interview With Short Man

(broompire) This month newbroom has been very lucky to get former French president Nicolas Sarkozy to stand in as a juror on its world famous show Ministers Got Talent. The busy man even found the time – but don’t let Horace know – to  sit in and be interviewed by former Ministers Got Talent candidate Brian Cullen.
B: Bonjour monsieur l’ancien président.
N: Bonjour monsieur l’ancien candidat.
B: Thanks. Many politicians choose a career in the economy after they’ve lost their office, but you decided to retreat into your private life. Why’s that so?
N: Well, as you might know I have a little family and actually, I want to enjoy it without any interference.

 B: Yes, naturally, we know, but did you talk this over with your wife or did you decide on your own?
N: I was the president of France when I decided about this step. The president of France has to ask no one for permission.
B: Except of course German lady chancellor Angela Merkel.
N: Naturally.
B: Are you thinking about returning to politics.
N: No, not really, there is a time for eth and the time for politics is over.
B: Of course, many of your supporters felt their hopes rising when they heard of you becoming a juror for this show at the beginning of the year.
N: Actually, not many people referred to it.		 B: That’s funny as we are so famous.
N: In fact, I only joined you as I thought it was a very small-scale project and I could add some…
B: Small-scale? Begging your pardon. This is high-class TV entertainment!
N: Well,…
B: Well? I think we take you on a tour of our sets before we continue with this interview.
N: That’s…
B: SECURITY!
 Unfortunately, the tour took a little longer and by the time it had finished it was past editorial deadline. As a matter of fact we somehow lost track of the rather short grown former head of state. If you stumble over him just let us know and we make sure he is returned to his home. (BC)

Of Ghosts And Men II

(The World) Believe it or not but even cemeteries can offer some delight – not only to the dead who inhabit them but also to the living who only visit them. Therefore we here at newbroom headed out for a guided tour through some of our hometown cemeteries.
First things first the weather was the worst. It had already rained the whole day and you really wouldn’t have thought that there was a single drop left but at least a billion.
We formed a nice group of twelve, equipped with umbrellas and an interested mind. First, we found out that the centre church once was surrounded by a cemetery as it used to be the custom to have church and the dead close to the community.
When this fashion was considered to be the old-fashioned the church remained where it was and the cemetery was turned into a building site for new houses – the did inhabitants were allowed to stay, though.

 Inside the church we learned that a roof is a good thing. In this day and cosy place – which is not only good for the living but also the dead – we were informed that people used to be scared of the dead. This fear led to the construction of walls around the cemeteries. Since you had to enter the cemetery for various reasons and it simply is impractical to climb over the walls there were some gates, too. However, we assume that it might have been popular particularly with the young to climb anyway.
As the undead can use these gates just as well as the living ones, people used to integrate a trap under the gate, which would allow bones to fall through while shoes prevented the living from the same fate. We will suggest using the same system of Hogwarts. See it’s always good to learn more about your surroundings. Get yourself to the cemetery as long as you can still enjoy it! (All)

 

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1,2,3...it's so easy like stealing candy from a baby - not that we think you would do that, Sev!

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