BROOM Breaking News


Beware of YUCs and ORCs
(The World) News of the discovery of a new species has stricken the world this week. The new species is called YUC. It is a relatively unknown kind of life and there is only very little known about it.
The natural habitat is the city. You will have noticed that we wrote city, so you don't find it in any small towns. About the age it can be said that all specimen which were examined were young. Another specification or if you prefer it characteristic is a certain degree of creativity. All three pieces of information have helped the scientists to give the new type a name: Young Urban Creative, or YUC.
This in itself is bad enough, however, some scientists assume that if there are YUCs, Young Urban Creatives, there must as a consequence also be Old Rural Creatives, or ORCs. These in contrast to the YUCs are old and avoid the city. They are mainly found in small towns. However, they also share a quality with the YUCs, namely that they are just as creative as them.
Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, no proof of their existence has been found yet, but researchers and explorers are on its track. Until more is known about YUCs and ORCs we would like to advise you to be particularly careful both in the city and in the small towns. (All)

 
Recent Research In our Office Revealed New Meaning of the Term Slaveb

(The Dark Side of the World) Now that everyone talks about BDSM, it was high time to research the topic and shed some light on this supposedly dark area of fantasy.
Obedience and punishment are two concepts which are very much to our taste and would be something well worth integrating into our working life. We've immediately reported this idea to our dear Geronimo, the head printer at our office. He has run out of ink since.
Further research uncovered the term that is used to refer to the obedient part in the relationship. And this is the point at which we regretted our curiosity. It can only be called a mishap that this is exactly the same term we used to apply to our employees. These are outraged now and are considering lawsuit.
Curiosity killed the cat as they quite rightly say.
(ALL)

A Celebration of Life


(Hogwarts) Yes, it is the time of the year again. Decorations are found everywhere and everyone knows what we are about to celebrate: Yes, it's Nearly Headless Nick's Deathday. For this occasion the editors and crew of newBROOM decided to ask the famous ghost for an interview And he agreed.
nB: Nearly Headless Nick, Happy Deathday to you, happy deathday to you...
NHN: Thank you so much, this is very moving.
nB: We assume there will be another one of your legendary parties tonight?
HNH: Yes, definitely. It will be a huge party with loads of guests. You are invited, too, but bring your own food.
nB: Yes, we know, ghosts don't eat. That in itself would keep us from partying...no food, what party is that?
NHN: If you have reached our age then you will know that food is not the most important thing in the world.
nB: What is that?
NHN: Life is the most important thing.
nB: And still you are celebrating your deathday...and not your birthday.
NHN: Well, it would appear a bit strange to celebrate my birthday now that I've been dead for so long. But having been dead for so long I have learned about the importance of life.
nB: How would you define life.
NHN: It's full of opportunities to love and laugh, unfortunately not many people recognise these opportunities. Most people only see reasons to worry and to cry and so they do.
nB: These are very wise words.
NHN: No, anyone can see this if they just open their hearts.
nB: This is a very moving tip for life and this on a day like today.
NHN: The day is not important. The human being is important – whether dead or alive.
nB: And our focus at this time of the year moves to the dead.
NHN: Yes, which is sweet by the living, still if they took as much care of the living as of the dead, they would be even happier. To remember the dead, to have a heart full of sweet memories of them is good, however, no one should forget that there is always more space for new sweet memories with the living.
nB: And some of them can be formed tonight at your party.
NHN: Yes.
We have to get ready for the party now. Our hearts are wide open and we hope that you are also able to spend the day with the people you love. Let your light shine in this dark part of the year. (All)