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“Nice to Meet You, Great Pumpkin – Or How Would You Like to Be Called?”

(USA) Many do believe and quite falsely so that Halloween is an American feast. Well, it is not. However, the Great Pumpkin is an American citizen. Therefore, this year our reporters took all the painkillers and travelled to the land of unlimited decay to meet the Great Pumpkin. broom: Nice to meet you, Great Pumpkin – or how would you like to be called? GP: Great Pumpkin is quite alright. Although some call me the Great One, the Great Orange One or Pumpkin the Great. broom: Quite inventive your American fellows – which leads us nicely to the next question: There are many legends ranking around your coming to earth every year. GP: Yes, that’s quite true. broom: So, one says you’re rolling around the pumpkin fields at midnight at Halloween. Is that so? GP: Yes, it’s quite true. broom: So, how do you do this, being at  a million different places at the same time? GP: Just like Arthur. broom: Arthur? GP: Arthur Claus, aka Santa. broom: Right, now we get the picture. But, you’re not gonna tell us? GP: No. broom: We thought so. Some people even claim that –similar to S…Arthur – you arrive with a bag full of gifts for

your faithful creditors – oops, sorry, believers. GP: I’m afraid this is really only a myth. I carry no presents whatsoever. I have no hands, how could I? broom: You know, you got a point there. GP: Where? broom: Never mind. There are also some people who believe that you are responsible for the delivery of the babies. GP: Another one of these myths, I'm afraid. Honestly, I’m only working at Halloween. I’m off duty all the other days of the year. broom: You’re practically claiming that you only come to earth once a year. GP: Yes, quite true, only once a year. broom: Where do you spend the rest of the year? GP: In Devon. broom: Devon? Devon/USA or Devon/UK? GP: Devon/UK. broom: Devon/Devonshire/UK? GP: Yes, quite the place. broom: Devon/Devonshire/UK where more pianos live than people? GP: More pumpkins, too. Believe it or not but this left our reporters speechless. They left the US in the firm believe that Devon is populated by pianos and pumpkins – of course, we do all know that no one and no thing would ever sink so low as to settle in Devon/Devonshire/UK. No offence meant! (ALL)

Mistified

Of course it wasn’t unusual for a late October night to be misty. In fact, it was perfectly normal. That night, the mist was so thick you might have cut it with a knife. You couldn’t see far – when you stretched out your arm you couldn’t see your hand! And this was the weather Benedict Bumblebee had to face. Mustn’t grumble, though, for Benedict was a healer and as such often called to emergencies. Tonight Mrs Everton’s baby wouldn’t wait any longer. Sighing, Benedict finished his tea and mounted his broomstick. In such cases he deeply regretted to things: his allergic reaction to floopowder and his failed apparition tests. Seeing that he couldn’t bring up enough determination to get to his destination, the Ministry had deliberately banned Bumblebee from taking any more apparition tests and had even ordered he was not to keep a portkey. That, it went without saying, reduced Benedict to using his old, battered and faithful broomstick. Nobody who had a choice would have flown in such weather. The mist drenched Benedict within seconds. It even felt as if icy, clammy fingers were touching him. Impatiently the healer shook his head. That was when he saw it. Out of the thick mist there rose a giant creature, as foggy and white as its surroundings but with a gaping black hole for a mouth and eyes like red-gleaming pieces of charcoal. Benedict screamed in shock and nearly fell off his broom. This had to be it: the Mist Monster Mongreal. Every witch and wizard knew that Mongreal lived in the mists that arose in the days around Halloween. The monster

slept throughout the year, shunning the mists created by breeding Dementors, but in late October and early November it woke to hunt for its favourite food: unwary wanderers. Having always dismissed the stories as tales to frighten the young and the gullible it came as quite a shock to Benedict to see Mongreal for real. Now what would happen next? Benedict shivered. Mongreal opened his mouth a fraction wider and grumbled menacingly. His strong, clammy hands reached for Benedict who tried to urge his broom to move faster and get him out of harm’s way. It was no good. Mongreal caught hold of both broom and Bumblebee without much effort. Saliva was dropping out of its mouth and the monster let out a terrifying triumphant roar. Benedict closed his eyes, waiting for sharp teeth sinking into him. But nothing happened. Mongreal just dangled Benedict a bit and then began to move. Perhaps monsters, like spiders, kept their prey for some time That would certainly explain how Mongreal could survive throughout the year: He had  storeroom where he kept what he had found during his rather brief hunting season. Surprisingly enough, the monster’s grip was quite gentle. If Benedict Bumblebee hadn’t known better he would have thought the monster was actually cradling him. Perhaps bearded wizards made good cuddly toys for mist monsters? Mongreal carried Benedict deeper and deeper into the mist. The dampness soaked the monster’s misty fur as well as

the wizard’s beard, hair and cloak. Slowly, carefully, Mongreal made his way to his destination. Benedict’s imagination ran wild. What if he faced a darkish hole filled with bound-up victims, partly skeletal? What if there was the stench of rotting flesh in the air? Mongreal grumbled something and shook Benedict slightly. Benedict looked at the monster who looked back and then pointed forwards – alright, swung the wizard forwards. Benedict saw a house. Every window was lit. Oh no! Was the story true? Was there an old hag who assisted Mongreal and cooked exquisite meals out of man-flesh? An invitation to dinner there would be fatal indeed, for you were the dinner, not the guest. Benedict nearly fainted with fear. Mongreal grumbled again and shoved the door open. He bent down and stamped through the warm kitchen into a spacious bedroom. There, in a four-poster bed, lay a pretty young woman clearly in pain. “My love!” she gasped. The monster gently set Benedict down and nudged him forward with his thumb. Benedict went to the bed and wiped the sweat and dampness off his forehead. “Good evening, er…” “I’m Mrs Everton,” the woman said. “I called you because I’m having a baby. Our baby,” she added and gazed lovingly at the mist monster Mongreal. Benedict was stunned. Mrs Everton smiled. “I kept my name. Who’d want to be known as Mrs Mist Monster Mongreal?” And if they haven’t died, they will be living happily ever after: Mongreal, Mrs Everton and the cute little baby mist monster Marilynn. (BC&MF)

No period of painful Halloween horrors would be complete without broom’s own Horticultural Horrors. Leslie Pagana Greenacre met our wishes and prepared another one of her horrific articles. Domus Dulcis Domus - Home Sweet Home Dear gardeners, gnomes and giants, Did you look outside? The wind, the colour, the smell – no need to ask an expert: It is autumn! Loads of things are to be done. Prepare some nice hot tea – or chocolate if you prefer that and take a biscuit. Relax and read what is to be done next. First of all, now is the time to remove all dead plants that you won’t need any longer. However, please do leave some untouched space for all the animals in your garden. The birds, for example, will be very thankful for some dry twigs next spring. If you happen to have a field you may now do some digging, though some experts say it is not necessary. Do

whatever you feel is right. Don’t forget   autumn is also the time of harvest. So, check out which fruits are to be collected. According to an old superstition this is also the main season for gathering mushrooms. Please note that mushrooms can be gathered almost throughout the year and that every self-gathered mushroom might be your last. Now that you have thought so much about yourself it is time to waste the one or the other thought on your fellow creatures. Of course, there is no need to think global – just start with your own backyard and your housemates. Your garden right now might be filled with hungry hedgehogs looking for a new home. Food can be easily provided by putting some kneazle (or cat) food on a plate and please do make sure not to forget a bowl of water. Housing might cause a bit more of a problem. You will have to part with a small bite of your garden – you must remember that hedgehogs also eat snails. That makes it easier, doesn’t it? Now that you have selected a place, there are several ways to approach this housing problem. The easiest way is to

build a heap of twigs, branches and leafs – don’t worry too much about furnishing, the hedgehog will take care of that! Another possibility is to build a real “house”. You will need some wood about 1 cm thick. Out of this piece you cut the ceiling (60x60), the floor (50x50), one wall (40x50), another wall (30x50), additionally you will need three side walls (48x40x30). Two of the side walls need a hole (10x10) through which the hedgehog can crawl in and out. One of the holes should be at the 40 cm side the other at the 30 cm side. Now put all the walls together leaving one of the side walls (48x40x30) with a hole (10x10) aside. Screws will do a good job. Add the floor and the last wall. This last wall is placed about 10 cm away from the entrance. The ceiling or roof (60x60) can be screwed on top of the whole building. However, if you do want to check (and maybe clean), it would be good to just add four blocks of wood fitting the four corners of the walls. Thereby the roof can be fixed and opened and closed at wish. You can also think about adding a piece of roofing felt. Love your neighbour, (LPG)

Crossword Puzzle

					1
				2					IV
				3		VIII
		4 X	III				XI
5	II
6	XII					IX
		7
		8		VI			V
	9 VII				I

Across 2 favourite meal on Thanksgiving 3 favourite dessert on Thanksgiving 4 eight-legged animal used to scare, e.g. Patience 5 quality of potatoes 6 big and orange 7 six-legged creature used to scare, e.g. Rita 8 my favourite at Halloween 9 female wizard

Down 1 best sport

The looked for phrase:

____ ____ ____ ____ ____    ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ,
 I    II   III  III  IV      I    II   V    V    VI   VII  VIII VIII IX
____ ____V____ ____ ____ ____!          
X    VIII  VIII  X    XI  X