Happy Easter!

broom Breaking News

Cutest Elaborate Easter Egg Competition

 
Early Easter is extraordinarily easy to opulently organize as all ornaments from current cool Christmas can be clearly changed into desirable Easter decoration. However, if elegant Easter haphazardly happens to happen liberally late in the young year, pretty problems publicly put themselves into the front focus, namely named tedious tidying up and rash redecoration of the happy home. Usually, you will use your Yule tide decoration until fine February, privately put it in a big box afterwards and unwillingly unpack them for early Easter in mild March again. This sadistic season sees that early Easter only comes at the conclusion of April. You are finally forced to truly tidy up your tiny drawing room as there simply is no righteous reason  for cleverly keeping the big box under your dinner table for so long. Once you’ve optimistically ordered yourself to practically put the big parcel back where it belongs it will be – most probably – March. The next month you have to master up your quiet courage again and beautifully bring out the box one more time. This is such a vile waste. Still you can simply leave this very vicious circle and totally turn your happy home into a traditional Easter crib! So far there is only one household in the magical world which has accomplished this. As a special treat it always offers the cutest elaborate Easter egg competition every Easter. Just think of the amount of money you can make with the entrance fee! (BC)

Quite Sad Santa Claus Kidnaps Easter Bunny

(The North Pole) Awful unemployment has taken accidental advantage of cruel Santa Claus. So Santa set forth to finally find a willing victim. On his wild way he quietly came across the innocent Easter Bunny. The innocent Easter Bunny was in the middle of happily hiding elaborately decorated Easter Eggs. When sneaky Santa silently snatched the beautiful Easter Bunny, some of the eleven eggshells broke. The brilliant Bunny was publicly put into the big bag, namely Santa’s sack. The excited Easter will have to be cancelled this year – but hey, this is definitely better than calling off Christmas! (MF)

 

Mr Chocolate Bunny and Mike

(The World) Now that Easter has arrived, we can see a whole lot of chocolaty sweets in the shops. Some are all empty inside, some full of very sweet goo or nougat. But nobody has ever asked one of the countless chocolate bunnies how they feel about Easter! Mike Flatley will fill in this gaping hole with this ingenious interview.
MF: Hello, Mr Chocolate Bunny, how are you?
CB: …

 MF: Hm, you’re not very talkative, are you? Perhaps you are upset about the Easter hype.
CB: …
MF: Millions of your little friends are given to children all over the world to be eaten. Does that distress you?
CB: …
MF: Obviously it does. Some of your kind are put into nests, hidden in the garden. What’s the biggest problem in that?
BC: It mustn’t get too sunny or the 		bloody things will melt.
MF: Hm, right, but you’re not Mr Chocolate Bunny.
BC: No. Is that your interviewee? He looks delicious!
MF: No, Brian, no, don’t do that!
Sadly, Mr Chocolate Bunny completely lost his head in the mouth-to-mouth with Brian Cullen and the interview had to be cancelled. Enjoy your own chocolate bunnies and have a very happy Easter!
(MF&BC)

Cooking & Slicing

Every special occasion in the year is graced by the kind contribution of Harriet Kettle-Stove’s delicious recipes to newbroom’s holiday editions. This Easter, Harriet will surprise us with what she calls “hidden delicacies”.
Dear cooks-to-be,
Happy Easter! It is a tradition to hide goodies for the little ones, so why don’t you do that for grown-ups as well? Your dinner party will be such a surprising event!
For a starter, we will serve hidden carrot cream. You need oil, carrots finely chopped, vegetable broth, cream and spices to your liking (curry works fine). Put oil and carrots in a pot with the vegetable broth and let simmer. When the carrots are soft, squash them and mix in the cream. Season to taste. Fill the carrot cream into small oven-proof bowls and put a square of flaky pastry on top. Put into the oven until the flaky pastry is

done. Serve hot.
As a main dish we’ll have fake hare. You need minced meat, two boiled eggs, some bread, one egg, spices to taste. Soak the bread in water, then mix with meat, raw egg, and spices. Shell boiled eggs, form a roast around them using the meat mix. Bake in the oven until done. Serve with mashed potatoes and salad.
And for dessert, have a hot chocolate muffin. You need flour, baking powder, sugar, oil, eggs and nougat-chocolate. Mix the dough as usual, then fill a muffin form for 1/3. Put in some nougat chocolate, then cover with dough. Bake until dough is done and chocolate fluid. Add some whipped cream and enjoy!
I hope this dinner will make you enjoy yourselves even more at Easter!
All the best,
H. Kettle-Stove

Agony Auntie Agatha

Dear Auntie Agatha,

We, a happy family of nine, have just returned from our yearly Easter egg hunt.

Actually, we have been quite successful this year and therefore each one carries a full basket containing huge amounts of chocolate eggs, real eggs, chocolate bunnies, real bunnies and the like, we guess you get the picture.

The only problem now is that we are not sure which of the items are very well hid and consequently unfound leftovers of last year’s Easter egg hunt.

What should we do?

Family of nine

Dear family of nine,

First of all you should eat less sweets! Sweets are very bad for the health of your teeth. Chocolate in particular helps to destroy your teeth forever. You should make sure to get sugar-free candies for future Easter egg hunts. You should also make a note of the hiding places of your tokens. And by the way, if you ever dare to send a letter again, Fred and George Weasley, I’ll make sure you will have no more teeth to enjoy your sugar-free treats!

P.S.: The advice about making a list of the several hiding places is in itself a good one, however, if you go about these things as we here at newbroom do, then it will be of no use whatsoever as we always go to other people’s gardens to find something nice.

New Blood Free/U Religion in Progress

(The World) There are several thousand religions and even more different sorts of beliefs to be found on this planet alone. However, if you happen to be a young parent – or at least a parent, you will often have wondered which religion to present to your child. newbroom has got an offer for you which you simply can’t resist.
The one thing all known religions share is that they are extremely brutal in parts. The Bible, for example, contains passages a young, innocent mind shouldn't be exposed to like rape, murder or even punishment.
Further examples are the Islamic Qur’an, the Jewish Tanakh, the Hinduismic belief and the Buddhist Four Noble Truths. The Qur’an, for example, contains the story of Jesus who worked as a freelance prophet and was killed as a result. In the Tanakh there is the story of Isaac who is almost killed by his own father because an inner voice had told him to. And anyway it was the Jews who killed Jesus both in the Christian as in the Islamic version! The Hinduismic belief has quite a lot to offer, from it we not only get the eternal vicious circle of re-incarnation, but also Yoga. What is a child to make of that? The only good thing that can be said about the Four Noble Truths is that they are short: Suffering exists. Suffering arises from attachment to desires. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases. Freedom

from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path. After this your child will be spoiled completely!
Obviously, this is too much for any mind be it a young and innocent one or an old and guilty one. This is the point where newbroom steps in to create the one religion which you don’t have to practice under PG.
First of all, there are no prophets or profits. You know well, what we think about wrong prophets! Therefore there is no one who can die a martyr or actually die at all. As a whole this is a death free religion. Very good for young minds!
Actually, there are no people whatsoever either. No one to believe in or no one to believe. So, there is also no one to do something bad and no one to do something bad to. Your children will have the change to grow up unbruised.
Another thing you will be happy to know is that there are no restrictions nor any guidelines or commandments. This consequently, leads to no punishments and no punishments lead to no fear. You will have happy self-confident children.
Plus no need to explain the often inexplicable behaviour of other human beings. The result is a happy life not only for your children but also for you yourself.
What is the name of this marvellous religion? This is in fact the best part of it: There is no name either. (All)

Crossword Puzzle
1 
2       IV
3     
 
4         I
 
5     II      
 
6     
 
7 V  VII      VI
 
8       
 III 




  
  

    
      
Across 
2 activity before Easter
3 made of 
      Across 6
4 also made with Across 6
5 activity on 
      Easter
6 comes from chicken

      7 sweet

      8 activity after Across 5

    
      
Down 
1 thing to eat

      

      

      

      

      
 




The looked for phrase:


____ ____PP____  ____ ____ ____T____ ____,

I    II       III   IV   V    VI    IV   VII

____ ____ V ____ ____U____!

VI   IV       IV   VII   VI






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Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books 
and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial 
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