broom Breaking News
| (Sussex) Snow stopped to ferociously fall – finally! Now the earth is free from the thick thatching of savage snow and the first flimsy beautiful bulbs carefully crow their neat necks out. Tulips test the air awkwardly, crocuses cautiously creep out and open their beautiful blossoms to the sweet sun. | Yet there is one reminder of the cruel cold lingering languidly: the snowdrop. The fragile flowers, however, are infinitely more beautiful than the cold flakes falling from the skies. So we welcome the arrival of sweet spring with a great glorious “Hurrah”! (ALL) |
Horrible Easter Egg
Hunt
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Every eerie Easter uniquely urges us to helplessly hunt for evil eggs. This terrible tradition was inadequately introduced by naïve natives. The innocent idea behind this spectacular search was to effectively engage the minor members of the fine family. Unfortunately, anyone who wisely wants to rationally receive a gorgeous gift and if it is simply to gratefully get a brilliantly cute chocolate bunny has to happily try to finally find it. And it can come worse when this anonymous anyone is aggressively asked |
to helpfully hide Easter eggs as well. Encouraging echoes are added whenever he artistically attempts to perfectly place the popular present. After an exhausting experience of effectively isolating Easter eggs, this harmed he has to hunt – horrified – for fine favours himself. And this sad suffering is a sure revival of the really shocking story of a certain Jesus Christ aka Superstar. He himself was cruelly crucified for what we don’t know, maybe he riotingly refused to promptly hide a happy egg. (ALL) |
“…”
| (A Monastery) As every year around Easter, Brian and Mike ventured forth to solve some of the mysteries of Easter. This year they smuggled themselves into a Trapper order to find out more about the religious aspects of this spring feast. Read on and discover whether they were successful or not. Brian: Mike, we're standing in the cloister of a beautiful convent complex, is that true? Mike: Yes, it’s absolutely marvellous, Brian. In fact, we’re not only standing in the cloister of a beautiful convent complex but we’re also standing next to trapper, is that correct Brian? Brian: Your Absolutely right, Mike. In deed, we're not standing in the cloister of a beautiful convent complex next to trapper for nothing. Can you agree to this, Mike? Mike: Yes, absolutely for nothing – not for nothing, I mean. So, why are we here, Brian? Brian: To do an interview, Mike. Mike: Yes, I do remember now: To do an interview with Trapper in the cloister of a beautiful convent complex. Brian: You’re quite right, Mike. Let me introduce our interviewee. Mike: Well, he’s Trapper. I already knew that! | Brian: Yes, you and I do know, but what about our readers? So make sure the quick quote quill works, Mike. Mike: It works. Brian: Let me introduce our interviewee – shut up Mike – Trapper. Mike: I didn’t know that you had a first name, too. Quite a strange one… Brian: Shut up Mike! Mike: Yes, very strange. Brian: So, Trapper being some sort of monk, you should know what all this fuss about Easter is good for. Trapper: … Mike: Well, that was some sort of rhetorical question, wasn’t it Brian?! Brian: You’re quite right, Mike. Trapper, let me put it like this, quite straightforward, direct and without delays, plain speaking and all the rest: Why do we celebrate Easter? Trapper: … Mike: I think our quick quote quill is broken. It didn’t put anything down. Brian: Well, Trapper didn’t say anything. Maybe he is deaf. Mike: Good point. Are you deaf, Trapper? Trapper: … Brian: Maybe he is dumb. Mike: Are you dumb, Trapper? Trapper: … Brian:Maybe he is blind. | Mike: Can you see me, Trapper? Trapper: … Brian: Then we might be deaf. Mike: Can you hear me, Trapper? Brian: However, I didn’t see his lips moving, maybe we are blind. Mike: Can you see me, Trapper? Brian: Of course, it could just as well be that we are dumb… Mike: No, can’t be. The quick quote quill put down every single word, Brian. Brian: Really? Let me see. Oh, that might just be enough for a decent interview for our Easter edition. What do you think, Mike? Mike: I was just thinking of Miranda. Why do you ask? Brian: I didn’t mean that. Do you think this interview will be long enough for Easter broom? Mike: Yes, definitely, quite a comfortable length, I’d say. Brian: Very good, Mike. We’ll call it a day for today. Pack the quick quote quill and the parchment and say good bye, Mike. Mike: Good bye, Mike. As always we here at broom would like to thank Trapper for taking the time to not answer any of Brian’s and Mike’s questions. And by the way, Trapper, the sign at your door reads ‘Trappist’, you might want to change this! (ALL) |
Cooking & Slicing
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An Easter
Menu to Remember Harriet Kettle-Stove, famous cook and author of various books, has graciously agreed to give us an exclusive Easter menu for our readers. As all of her recipes, these also will make your mouth water just reading them! Dear cooks-to-be, Easter is drawing near and with it also hordes of relatives waiting to be served a mass of food. Yet, the feasts abound around Easter, so perhaps you’d like to start a new tradition and serve small food items. My suggestion is to welcome spring with a hint of summer in Tuscany and serve little Italian delicacies. Here we go: Panini al pesto con prosciutto e brie Or, translated: bread with ham and brie |
You need four small Italian white bread
rolls, some pesto sauce, 100 g Parmesan ham, 100 g brie and some walnuts.
Cut the bread and put all the ingredients except the nuts on it. Then put
the bread in the oven until the brie has melted. Decorate with nuts. Sfogliatini di spinaci e di salmon Or, translated: salmon-spinach pie You need 300 g ready-made puff pastry, 500 g spinach, 30 g butter, a small chopped onion, 150 g salmon, 160 g Italian cream cheese, 2 egg yolks, spices to taste. First let the spinach steam in a pot and then roast onions and spinach in a pan. Add the finely cut salmon. Mix with egg yolks and cream cheese and spices. Now cut the puff pastry into squares fitting small pie dishes. Cover the bottom with pastry, fill up with the mix. Bake for 30 minutes and serve warm. |
Crema
di mocca con mascarpone Or, translated: coffee cream with Italian cream cheese You need 100 g coffee chocolate, a bit of vanilla, 250 g cream cheese, 125 g double cream cheese, 5-6 spoonfuls sugar, 4 spoonfuls espresso, 150 g cream. Cut the chocolate and melt it, add vanilla. In a bowl mix cream cheeses and sugar, then add the chocolate. Whip the cream and add two thirds of it to the mix. Fill the mix into glasses and put it into the fridge. Before serving, add the left whipped cream and decorate to taste. Your guests will be ever so thankful for not being stuffed like Christmas geese! Plus, all of that is easy to prepare and thus won’t be much work for Easter Sunday. Enjoy! Yours, H. Kettle-Stove |
Horticultural
Horrors
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Easter made a dream come true. It’s a miracle, a wonder, a marvel: There has been an amnesty and Leslie Pagana Greenacre has been released from prison. Obviously, her first action was to provide yet another one of her famous articles. We tried to bribe her prison wards – didn’t help. So, let’s get over with it. Spring Garden – Hortus Vernus Dear jailbirds, prison mates and wards, What a relieve just a release
is! Do you breathe this air? Alas, it’s not contaminated by prison bars. |
Naturally, your lawn will look horrible after this procedure.
Don’t worry too much about this sight. As the days grow longer, you will get used to it and if you take some more measures, you might even be looking at a beautiful lawn before long. Next you have to check whether the ground gets enough air. Small holes will help your earth to breathe. Nails in your shoes (tips looking out of the soles downwards) might help. By now you will have realised what your ground needs. Some sort of fertilizer should be applied to it. Check what exactly your earth needs and mix or buy appropriately. This will be best for the ground. You should also make sure that you follow the instructions on the fertilizer. Many of them are not too good for animals, water or yourself. Then you can think about preparing the ground for a fresh sowing of grass seeds. And once you’ve stopped thinking start the preparation! You should also make sure to get the right sort of grass seeds fitting both the earth and the microcosm as well as your own needs. |
After bringing out the grass seeds you have to be very patient.
Extremely patient, in fact. Horribly patient. Unbearingly patient. There is not much you can do while you’re wasting, sorry, waiting for the grass to grow. And please do not give a damn about this old saying: the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Y ou will be rewarded for your hard labour and patience. Once the grass has grown to a respectable height you are allowed to start mowing – but careful or else all your work will have been in vain. Don’t cut it too short. Regular cutting is supposed to lead to a thick cover for the ground. This sound like an awful lot of work and in deed it is, but rest assured that it is well worth the pain – literally. Just imagine how relaxed you will lie on the lawn, thic grass under you and a friendly sun above you. Now get out, take your tools and start working, otherwise there will be no beautiful lawn to lie on when the sun has finally decided to come out and bless our days with its golden rays. (LPG) |
Crossword
Puzzle
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| 2 | III | IX | |||||||||||
| 3 | VI | VIII | |||||||||||
| 4 | X | VII | |||||||||||
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| 6 | II | ||||||||||||
| 7 | I | ||||||||||||
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Across |
Down |
The looked for phrase:
____ ____ ____ ____ Y ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____,
I II III III VI II VII VIII VI IX
____ ____ V ____ ____ ____ ____!
VII VI VI IX X VII