broom Breaking News

Hares harrassed by baby bunnies

(The world) Easter symbols, as everybody knows, include infuriatingly beautiful bunnies, extra-colourful eggs and cute chicks. However, hares have been the original Ostara symbols.
You do not know old Ostara? We, being obscurely omniscient, will eagerly enlighten you. Ostara was a Germanic goddess whose duty was furthering fertility. Her constant companion was 		the hot hare which, being fairly fertile, was thought to be a good example. However, hopping hares have been replaced by baby bunnies! Baby bunnies are cute and cuddly – which the harassed hares are too, but not to the sexy implications. Whatever the real reason, hares are ‘out’ and bunnies ‘in’! Now you can gloriously gloat with your new knowledge!
(ALL)

Eastern Easter Easily Eats Eccentric Eggs

Euphoric Easter everyone! The elastic East as it is in the East is especially interested in the easy eating of eccentric eggs. Exactly everyone in the evolutionary East eventually experiences ecstatic emotions every instance he or she effectively eats an Easter egg. As there is an extreme amount of eccentric Easter eggs in the East and especially in Eastern Europe, there also is an elite entity especially educated for easily equalizing eccentric eggs.

Effective events eventually effect an extraordinary exchange inside the eccentric eggs. Egg eccentricity endlessly evolves into egg white. The eccentric eggs usually equal uneatable ugly earth worms. However, effectively evolved eccentric eggs exactly taste like – eggs. Astonishing! Howver, it’s not extremely astonishing that Eastern Easter egg eaters eat their own evolved eggs. (All)

 

A Song for Easter

(The Christian World) Christmas Carols have settled down comfortably into our culture. Easter Chants, on the other hand, happen to be quite rare! Extinct we even dare to say. As we here at broom are part of another species threatened by extinction – truth-loving journalists – we decided to step up for the help of Easter Chants.
In the first step of our campaign we will introduce you to a new Easter tune, mind you, we worked all year on it and it ate up all our creativity. Some people may argue that this is why Rita Skeeter took over for April, but please do rest assured that this is certainly not the case.
Where were we before we got carried away? Right. An Easter Chant must be introduced to the broad public. Now, before we present the chant to you, you must know that the idea of an Easter Chant is not only to be sung but to be sung through out Lent which is – sort of – the spring equivalent to Advent.

 By the way, did you ever realize that the period of Lent offers many more possibilities than Advent and at least is superior over Advent in one respect: the number of days. Lent lasts an almost endless-seeming amount of 40 days, while Advent only has the small sum of 24 days at its disposal. Isn't that amazing? I wonder why no one never thought about it.
What could be done with this springtide treasure? Right. You could all join in broom’s First Official Easter Chant. It is sung to the melody of We Wish You A Merry Christmas and possesses equally catchy lines. And here is how it goes: We wish you a happy Easter, we wish you a happy Easter, we wish you a happy Easter, and a happy Lent end.
What do you say, that shouldn’t be too hard! We do ask you to learn these lines by heart and to sing them until Easter Monday 12 p.m. and if you like, you can throw in some of it at your next Christmas party! Happy Easter everyone! (All)

 

Cheerfulness is his business

(Our office) Every year, yellow and purple messengers of spring shoot out of the earth in our office garden. Unfortunately they tend to grow wherever they want, but never where we planted them. Mike Flatley decided it was time to talk seriously with one of their kind: Carl Crocus, currently residing right where Mike’s wastepaper basket usually stands.
MF: Hi, Carl Crocus, it’s nice to see you back again.
CC: …
MF: You’re not very talkative today, it seems. Well, you are busy enough opening your petals in the morning and

 closing them in the evening.
CC: …
MF: Last year you grew under Brian’s desk.
CC: …
BC: No, that was a yellow crocus! Carl is purple.
MF: So what? He might have fancied a change of colour! After all, purple is the fashionable colour this spring, isn’t it, Carl?
CC:…
BC: Flatley, you moron, either you are a yellow crocus bulb or a purple one, you don’t change colours!
MF: Excuse me, I am no crocus bulb at 		all!
BC: No, that’s why Carl Crocus can’t understand your questions. Admit it, you’re just annoyed that crocuses don’t stick to one place.
MF: Um… yeah, right, a bit.
BC: That’s nature. It’s a nice surprise, though – much better than things like mould on cheese!
MF: Okay, you’re right.
BC: Don’t be grumpy – enjoy Carl Crocus’ company!
MF: I hate to say it, but you’re right again. Sorry, Carl, grow where you want to! Oh – and happy Easter!
(MF)

Cooking & Slicing

Easter Cuisine for Everyone
broom is very proud to have been able to engage the services of star chef Harriet Kettle-Stove for its Easter-edition. Harriet has just published a new book, Cuisine fine – easily done!, and will give us an exclusive insight into her ideas. Have fun!
Dear cooks-to-be,
a very happy Easter to you and yours! If your relatives are even a bit like mine they will like to show off with their holiday feasts. They usually buy in gourmet shops and spend ridiculously large amounts of money.
Well, this isn’t necessary at all, as you will find out in detail when you read my latest oeuvre. However, I will give you an

  idea of how to use your local Muggle discounter for an extraordinary and not at all expensive Easter feast!
First course: Smoked salmon with honey-mustard cream
This is as easy as a meal can be; you just have to mix honey and mustard, put the salmon onto plates and serve it with crisp fresh bread. This is a delicious starter, neither expensive nor difficult to prepare.
Second course: Lamb chop, croquettes and mixed vegetables
The best thing about this is that it sounds rather posh and hard to prepare the right way, but can in fact be bought ready-made and deep-frozen. You simply have to heat it! Muggles are ever so ingenious when 		it comes to saving time.
Third course: Black and white mousse au chocolat
Usually, a mousse takes a long time to prepare, is likely to curdle and in general only worth the effort when you’ve got a whole bunch of guests to feed. Thanks to lazy Muggles, you can buy ready-made, really perfect mousse in pots. Buy enough, then arrange the mousses in glass bowls. You can decorate everything with chosen fruit. For the greatest possible posh effect I strongly recommend physalis or starfruit. You see, it’s really easy to feed your family with a feast which leaves them flabbergasted! Tuck in – and don’t get stressed!
Yours, H. Kettle-Stove

Horticultural Horrors

(Our Office) We had hoped to distract Leslie Pagan Greenacre by letting vast amounts of nettles grow in our office, however, she only said: “Perfect. You can gather the nettles for me and mix them with water while I type my article!” And off she went and so did we.

Hortus Dulcis Hortus - Garden Sweet Garden

Dear gardeners and busy bees,
It’s that time of the year again: Winter at last is over and it’s high time to take care of our gardens again. If you happen to have the one or the other smaller or bigger nettle in your garden, you might want to gather them and put them into a bucket filled with water. Just like our boys are doing now!
When you have done so, you can forget about this mixture for a couple of weeks. Well, if you can, because it stinks like a troll, you can believe that! You can use it later as a fertilizer. But make sure your neighbours won't find out.

 You might also be in the possession of a piece of lawn which might need some taking care of. Naturally, you will already have fertilized your lawn as long as not too many animals are around to suffer any damages. Now that this is done, you might want to take a closer look at some of the weaker spots and spaces in your lawn.
If it happens so that in some places the lawn has gone, you should get some grass seeds. Now first you remove any other plants like moss or nettles, then you loosen the soil. The next step is to add the grass seeds or rather sprinkle them on the ground. Afterwards, you cover them with a bit of earth and then you trample on them. Don’t look like that – they want it that way! Now the only thing left for you to do is to let nature take its course. However, you should make sure that the seeds have enough water!
Now that you have the perfect lawn, there are only 364 other things left to do. Let’s start with planting some more seeds. There are basically three groups of seeds: vegetables, herbs and flowers! The first weeks of spring are a good time to start bringing out your salad seeds. 		This will ensure a fresh dose of vitamins for a tired gardener in a couple of weeks time.
Of course, there are also vegetables which need some more time to develop. So, if you want to have a big nice pumpkin for your Halloween feast, the time to plant your seed is now! The same – by the way – is true for melons, though I don’t know how to include them into your Halloween decoration!
Then, there is the big group of herbs. Herbs – a well-educated witch or wizard will well know – are not only used for the brewing of potions but also for the creation of delicious meals. They will add taste to salad and pumpkin alike and to anything  else you are prepared to serve!
The last group are the flowers which will bring us joy all through the year. They will attract bees and butterflies as well as the jealous eyes of our neighbours. Select whatever you like, however, you should make sure to cover the different months so that you have a garden in bloom all year long!
Now, if this isn’t jolly good, I don’t know what is! Enjoy your gardening and Easter, of course, too! (LPG)

Crossword Puzzle
1 I 2 
3   II      
4   III      
5   IV        
6  7       V        
8     XII  VI        
  9   VII     10   
11    12 VIII  XIII      
   IX    
   X    
  13   XI  
  




Across

1 male pronoun

3 organisation providing shops especially for British soldiers

4 when you don't find any eggs, you're ...

5 where the hip people live

6 less cannibal than babies

8 nickname of Harry Potter

9 four-legged pet

11 you don't look into that direction when trying to find eggs

12 what the weather should be like

13 what we do when we don't find any eggs



Down

2 fellow who is said to bring the eggs

7 fellow who doesn't bring the eggs

10 you measure the length of - things - in it









 





The looked for phrase:


____ ____ ____ ____ ____   ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____,

I    II   III  IV   V      VI   VII  VIII IX   X    XI

____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____!

VIII VI   XII  VI   IX   XIII VIII






Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. 
Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books 
and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial 
and/or commercial gain is intended.