broom Breaking News
Beautiful Baubles
Brighten Cheerless Chambers|
(The World) It is Christmas time, and all around the world millions
of men and women warmly celebrate with friends and family. Some sad dwellings are turned into glittering glamorous palaces. Muggles of course cannot conjure up any fiery fairy lights, but they use useful electric lamps to light their lovely houses. Some |
even put up lit reindeer or Santas –
very peculiar! The dear decorations turning up most often are beautiful baubles brightening cheerless chambers like mighty magic. Nobody seeing the bright baubles can stay sad for long – not even we who are bold businessmen! Merry Christmas! (BC&MF) |
Popular
Presents
| This Christmas season sees a new selection of great gifts which will really make the receiver marvel. Among these are the always available valuable vouchers. Various vouchers are to be purchased as perfect presents: with these vouchers you can buy books, wonderful videos or delightful DVDs or even sensational songs, | apart from that almost any other item which is for sale. However, not everyone wishes to give such an impersonal gift. Another popular present is to take time to spend with your loved ones. As this makes number one for us here at newbroom we quit this BBN and will take care of those who are dear to us. (All) |
"And
Call Off Christmas As Well!"|
(The Past in Great Britain) This is a phrase that famously was not
only shouted by the Sheriff of Nottingham but also by Oliver Cromwell. The
Sheriff of Nottingham had a very good reason because he was vexed by Robin Hood.
However, what made Oliver Cromwell cancel this celebration? newbroom got the man
back from the dead during the last Halloween night and asked. nB: Mr Cromwell, in 1647 you abolished Christmas, why did you do that? OC: It's not compatible with the Puritan faith. nB: And what exactly is the Puritan faith? OC: The first rule is to be modest: Puritans don't need any of the trappings of the Catholic Church for example. Churches' interior decoration shouldn't distract you from the service. Singing is only necessary to praise the Lord. There's no need for feasting or dancing. Work and prosper from your work. That is a sure sign that God loves you. |
nB: But Christmas is the birth of Jesus. And Jesus is the son of God.
Do you really think he minds if we celebrate his son's birthday? OC: Take a look at the decadent Catholics, I would say he clearly does mind! nB: Decadent Catholics? Well, they only know how to have a great time. A very festive service at church. Christmas biscuits. And in spring just in between Christmas and Easter they have Carnival! OC: Horrible! Any true Christian should work on these days. And think of the masses not only of Christmas decoration that are wasted! No any true Puritan should work and... nB: ...prosper. How did your contemporaries react to you suggestion? OC: My colleagues at Parliament were very happy to work and by working serve God on this day. nB: What about the normal people? OC: They didn't like it too much; all influenced by the |
Catholic mafia! They had forgotten that working means to praise the
Lord and that celebrating means to worship the devil. nB: When did you allow the people to celebrate Christmas again? OC: Soon after I was told that it was either Christmas with me or without me. nB: And when did the four ghosts come in? OC: What four ghosts? nB: The one of your dead, greedy colleague, the one of the Christmas past, the one of the Christmas present and the one of the Christmas to come. You will understand the confusion that this question created with the ghost of Oliver Cromwell. and anyone who has ever dealt with a ghost who came back for one night only will know that he or she simply disappears when it comes to confusions of any sort. Naturally, evryone at newbroom is now comtemplating how to become a Catholic in time for the festive season. (BC&MF) |
Cooking and Slicing|
Although Harriet Kettle-Stove has new and exciting tasks awaiting her in
2012, she still came up trumps and gave us one of her wonderful recipes for
our holiday edition. We are sure you will enjoy this dish as much as we did! Merry Christmas, dear cooks-to-be, I surely hope you will enjoy your holidays. Sometimes, though, after a long walk through the snow, you feel so chilled through that you need something nice and wholesome to warm you up. That is why I decided to give you an idea for such a dish instead of a new Christmas feast. So |
here it is, a recipe for
a delicious winter beef and chestnut casserole. For four people wanting to partake in this lovely casserole, you need 2 tablespoons of plain flour, salt and freshly ground pepper to taste, 2 teaspoons of ground nutmeg, 450 g lean boneless shin cut into 2.5 cm cubes, 2 tablespoons of oil, 8 shallots peeled and left whole, 2 cloves of garlic peeled and crushed, 175 g topped baby carrots, 4 skinned and roughly chopped tomatoes, grated zest of one lemon, 450 ml good hot beef stock, 200 ml good red wine, 1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves, 200 g whole cooked chestnuts. |
What you do is pretty basic magical cooking. You mix the beef cubes with flour
and seasoning and nutmeg and cook the batch until it is brown on all sides.
Put the meat into another pot which you make simmer slowly. In the frying pan,
cook carrots, garlic and shallots for a couple of minutes. Along with the
tomatoes, add them to the beef in the simmering pot. Cook slowly until done
and enjoy with some fresh French bread. Have yourselves a merry little Christmas now, dear cooks-to-be, and enjoy this warming winter beef! Yours, H. Kettle-Stove |
Agony
Auntie Agatha|
Dear Agony Auntie Agatha, Yes, it’s that time of the year again and we are all supposed to be in a Christmasy spirit. I would love to share this spirit but somehow it seems to be quite impossible for me. I am an atheist. Of course, many people who celebrate Christmas don’t go to church. That would be okay but do you know how many Christmas carols contain references to religion? It’s just impossible for me to join in. What can I do to have myself a merry little Christmas time? Yours, Draco M. Dear Draco, Christmas is the time for love and even an atheist can join the general feeling of love. The true Christmas spirit is not so much connected to religion or carols or even presents, leave alone sweets but love. Christmas despite its name is for everyone who wants to celebrate it. It's for you to decide which parts you want to share with the others who celebrate this special time of the year. Have a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year, Auntie Agatha |
Dear Agony Auntie Agatha, I've just been asked some very interesting questions by my children. The first question was whether they had to send their wish list to Santa Claus, Little Saint Nick or the Christ Child. When I told them that we believe in the Christ Child they wanted to know whether it was a girl or a boy. Checking some sources it seems to be that baby Jesus is the role model for the Christ Child, however, it is usually presented by a girl, a blonde one. I was lost for words and gave some bsicuits to my children. Please make sure to answer before they have finished munching them away. Season's Greetings,Holly E. Dear Holly, I would like to refer you to the Vatican. There is someone called Pope Benedict XVI and if he can't help you he has some colleagues who might know. You can contact the Vatican on the phone which would be the fastest: 0039067777777 is the number to call. It would be great or at least helpful if you spoke Italian or even Latin. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year for yours and you, Auntie Agatha |
A
Christmas Carrow
|
Once upon a time there was a certain evil wizard who had somehow managed to
gain power over all the magical world. His evil might even spread into
Hogwarts Castle, and right on time for a new school year to start. In those
dark days, Severus Snape was headmaster of Hogwarts School. He did his best to
counteract the evil influence, but shunned by those who should have known him
better and needing to play a role, he was powerless. However strict his regime was on the outside, he never actually exploited the power given to him to unjustly punish pupils. That was not the case for some teachers hired on evil orders. Amycus and Alecto Carrow were siblings and very much alike in their love for injustice and cruelty. Nobody liked them. They spied for their evil master and acted like minions of the Dark Forces all the time. No pupil was looking forward to the weeks preceding Christmas, although in earlier years these weeks had been the most magical weeks. This year nobody expected decorations and light-heartedness. It was surely going to be the dreariest Christmas ever. At first, admittedly, it did seem as if the castle would look dull and grey all winter. None of the usual baubles or fairy lights appeared, The suits of armour were silent instead of roaring naughty versions of Christmas carols. Not even Professor Flitwick, whose Christmas spirit had |
seemed unquenchable
formerly, conjured up some festive adornment. Thus, Christmas joy seemed to give Hogwarts a miss that year. Yet how was it possible that in a nearly deserted corridor people were sure to pick out the scent of freshly baked cookies? Why were elusive strands of carols coming from turrets nobody ever visited? Of course, Hogwarts had never been your average boarding school – how could it be, when it housed only magical people and creatures? One morning the pupils found twigs of holly in some corners, and mistletoe was hanging from some arches. The Carrows blasted them away, laughing, and immediately went to inform the headmaster of the subversive actions undertaken in the night. “Severus, holly and mistletoe were put up!” Alecto crowed the moment she had entered the circular office. “Hardly surprising, so close to Christmas,” Snape replied, barely looking up from his work. The Carrows exchanged astonished glances. “Severus, we called off Christmas,” Amycus reminded the headmaster. “No. You suggested it would not be appropriate to have a lot of decoration, to which I agreed. But nobody ever called off Christmas. Should some greenery appear again, leave it be,” Snape sharply advised the minions. “If you say so,” Alecto demurred. | So when the secretly organized decoration turned up again, the Carrows eyed it
with disgust but left it alone. More and more things turned up: silver bells,
fairy lights, wax apples and gilded nuts. The suits of armour sang carols,
albeit with unusual lyrics that sounded suspiciously like the carols published
each year in newbroom’s Christmas edition. The Carrows were livid whenever
they heard Bad Lord Voldemort sung in wheezy, rusty voices. But since
Snape had told them to leave well alone, their hands were bound. Even though no students had signed up to stay over the holidays, there was a Christmas feast on the last evening of term. It was almost like in the old days. Even the Carrows had to become, well, Christmas Carrows. Thus the spirit of Christmas prevailed. Even under the most severe oppression, facing tyranny and civil war, Christmas brought light and hope to everyone. May this story be a reminder to all who think somebody should call off Christmas: You cannot do that, you can only close your eyes to its wonders. But beware: Hope has a strange penchant for creeping into everyone’s minds, especially around Christmas. So do not give up but remember the lights of Christmas and never forget the fact that Resistance Rocks. |
Crossword Puzzle
The looked for phrase:
1
VI
2
I
3
4 VII
VIII
IX
X
5
IV
6
II
7
8
III
V
Across
1 used for Across 2 (spelled
backwards)
2 you have lots of this now
3 you sing this now (spelled backwards)
4 also said to bring the presents (two words)
5 especially on top
6 outside inside
particular in this season
7 made of egg
8 really brings the presents (two words)
Down
1 said to bring the presents (three words)
I II III
III IV
V III
VI VII VIII I IX
VII VII
II
II III X
VII
newbroom’s Christmas Carols |
As every year we have an exquisite selection of re-arranged Christmas carols
prepared with the greatest of cares! 1. Thank God It’s Brian (sung to Thank God it’s Christmas by Queen) Oh my love we’ve had/An awful nightmare/Oh my friends we’ve had/A dream we couldn’t bear/Oh my friend it’s been/More than just unfair/But now it’s Brian/Yes it’s Brian/Thank God it’s Brian./The man just scared/We thought we would be killed/He was simply bored/We with horror filled/My friend we were so scared/And full of fright/But no one cared/About this sight/Thank God it’s Brian/Sleeping tight/Thank God it’s Brian/Yeah thank God it’s Brian/Thank God it’s Brian/Giving us nightmares/Only with his snoring all night./Oh my love we woke/Up crushed by fears/Oh my friend the smoke/The noise one hears/Oh my friends the bloke/Fills eyes with tears/Thank God it’s Brian/Yes, it’s Brian/Thank God it’s Brian/Sleeping tight./Thank God it’s Brian/Yes, it’s Brian/Thank God it’s Brian/Ooh yeah/Thank God it’s Brian/Yes, yes, yes, yes it’s Brian/Thank God it’s Brian/Sleeping tight. |
2.
We Have Caught A Cold (sung to Here Comes Santa Claus by Gene Autry and
Oakley Haldesman) We have caught a cold/ We have caught a cold/Everyone blows his nose/We desperately need some handkerchiefs/All we hear are woes/And the whole world is filled with grieves/We need an overdose/Of happiness and cheerfulness/Or of aspirin we guess./We have caught a cold/We have caught a cold/Everyone blows his nose/But with medicine the illness goes/We’re healthy under the tree/And busy as a busy bee/Emptying some barrels/Unwrapping our Christmas presents/And singing some nice carols. |
3.
The
Death Eaters Are Finally Here (sung to All I Want For Christmas Is My Two
Front Teeth by
Donald
Yetter Gardner) Everybody sobs/And sheds a tear/The Death Eaters/Are finally here/Death Eaters here/Death Eaters are here/I just can’t explain/How they manage to evoke fear/In Muggles, wizards and witches/And some more living creatures./The world cries in one sob/Death Eaters are here/Death Eaters here/Death Eaters are here./You better run and hide/From the dark wizards/And their magical wands/So to be safe/And well and healthy and alive/Even after the Death Eaters are gone./You know well enough I’m sure/He who laughs last laughs longest./But maybe in due time/Death Eaters are dead/Death Eaters dead/We will be free again/Death Eaters are dead/We will cry with glee/Hip-hip hooray. |
