broom Breaking News
Careless Candles Cook
Creative Charity| (Wizarding World) Caution is called for in lighting lovely
candles, as every child should know. But every year the awesome advent wreaths
cause fierce fires. This year, the Foundation for the Flying Carpet Charity
has been sad subject to a savage fire. Venturing vendor Ali Bashir of dreary Diagon Alley fondly founded the Foundation for the Flying Carpet Charity for all those wizards and witches preferring perfect plush to wicked wood. Anyone willing to walk the way of flying a cool carpet has been asked to add a small sum of money, making more | carpet-related calls possible. The mean Ministry mostly means evil, and so far
has rebelliously resisted any ingenious ideas on the awaited allowance for
flying carpets. Now awkward Ali had a really abysmal-looking advent wreath in his oval office and liked lighting the colourful candles. Unfortunately, the flames fired up and began to burn the brown canvass and cosy carpets. Now there is next to nothing left of the Foundation for the Flying Carpet Charity. Ali asks for funds to re-establish his really useful office. Please be charitable – it’s Christmas! (No one) |
Terrified
Trees Take Their Time| (Wizarding World) As the year begins to run with long, swift
strides towards its eventual end, thousands of terrified trees turn to flee
farther forward into ferocious forests and wild woods.
Fearing final cuts by aggressive axes and savage saws, frightened firs flee far away to be spared an evil end as a chipped Christmas tree. Since such a base behaviour is not at all acceptable at Christmas time, we immediately implored the | tough trees of Hogwarts’ Forbidden Forest to hurry to our help. We tactfully told them that a Christmas tree is the highest, holiest profession for any tree. Nobody knows just how happy a Christmas tree is with all the glittering gold and silver swept over it. Now we can proudly profess that we persuaded the poor frightened firs to return to their outstanding office. Have a happy Christmas! (BC&MF) |
Christmas is
Coming| Countless customers concentrate on the coming
Christmas. An ecclesiastical event which emerges especially early this anno
and will elongate until Easter next anno. People are persuaded to purchase presents and to give them away as gifts to their governors and governoresses. All are asked to act accordingly and anyone won’t be allowed not to accept this. Each inhabitant of the industrial institutions | sagaciously said to be states
swears to fiercely follow institutionalized instructions and venture to vouch
for very expensive exercises. A few friends will face family treatment by
tortured tribesmen trying to take over another type of tradition. However,
certainly Christmas comes as each event does in heavy doses of laughter and
love. (N.O. Time) |
The
Night Before Scrimgeour
| It
was the night before Scrimgeour, when all through the house Every creature was stirring, even the mouse. Nobody had ever taken care If Voldemort was really there. The Aurors were not in their beds, But rather much out of their heads And Fudge in his bowler and not a cap Was seriously wishing for his nap When out in the hall there was a clatter Fudge jumped up to see what was the matter. In the Ministry Hall he saw a green flash And an ominous glitter like coins of gold cash. Fudge was deeply shocked, and so He didn’t take in all objects below. When what to his wondering eyes had appeared, But the Dark Lord returned which everyone feared. With his bone-coloured wand, so frightful and quick And a look on his face said to be sick. More rapid than lightning his curses they came, And he jinxed and hexed, and called out a name, “I want to kill Potter! And, oh, by the way, I want to kill Dumbledore, that’s what I say. |
I will chase them with curses of blood and of bone Until for death only those fools will be prone.” As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, Sparks, shouts, and curses flew to the sky. The Fountain of Magical Brethren fell down. Now finally Fudge found a reason to frown. And then in a twinkling Dumbledore took the lead To face Voldemort and force his defeat. As Fudge drew in his head, and was turning around, The Dark Lord was gone and the Minister bound To believe his own eyes and all that he saw And recognise that this had to mean war. Long he took to finally see That the only one blind to the danger was he. His eyes, how they twitched! His hands trembled very Much, his cheeks were so pale – now he didn’t tarry. Fudge knew what this meant, he took a bow, And, turning at last as white as snow, He took a deep breath, and gritted his teeth, |
And the curse-smoke encircled them all like a wreath. He glimpsed now his fate. And his legs turned to jelly And a distinct rumble was heard from his belly. He looked to the fountain: the wizard, the elf, The witch and the goblin, and he braced himself. “I know now,” he spoke and shook his head, “That I should have realized the threat. This wreckage might be the result of my work.” He blew his nose and turned round with a jerk. Out of a fireplace a tall figure rose And Scrimgeour appeared, rubbing his nose. As an Auror he took in the danger to all. “This will make our old world fall.” Fall did Fudge in this very dark night And Minister Scrimgeour rose to his height. It was the night before Scrimgeour took on the top job Acclaimed by the whole terrified mob. The Dark Lord returned, a new minister’s there We wonder of whom we should most beware! (BC&MF) |
Christmas
Crossword
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| 3 | |||||||||||||||||
| 4 | IX | 5 | 6 | ||||||||||||||
| 7 | 8 | 9 | VII | X | 10 | VIII | |||||||||||
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| 11 IV | V | ||||||||||||||||
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| 12 | I |
Across
2 given around Christmas Day
4 given on Christmas Day or on Christmas Eve
5 scene of nativity
7 first name of Father Christmas
9 second name of Father Christmas
10 family name of Father Christmas
11 used to reach a spiritual state of the mind
12 sung when this state is reached (spelled backwards)
Down
1 plant
2 something to eat
3 found in the sky
6 decoration
7 present for Dobby
8 decoration
10 sent around Christmas Day
The looked for phrase:
____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____'____ G ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____G____ VIII II I VIII VI V VIII VII II II IX IV V VIII ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____V____ ____ ____ ____! IX VI VI X VII VIII II II VII X VIII
Cooking and Slicing
| Harriet Kettle-Stove has again exchanged the
spoon for a quill and noted down some recipes for cookies so delicious you
could get addicted to them. Read it and then bake them – and pronto! Dear Cooks-to-be, A very merry Christmas to you and yours! Are you going to invite the family round and have a real cosy celebration? Then you absolutely need cookies en masse. So I’ve concentrated on recipes for the most delicious cookies you’ve ever had. Mind: Some of them you will have to bake some weeks before Christmas to give them the right aroma. But for now, simply enjoy baking, decorating – and tasting. Chocolate Rum
TrufflesOf course those are not really cookies, but they are really loved with after dinner coffee. No doubt you and your family will find a niche in your stomach for those magnificent morsels. To prepare them, you need 6 oz. plain chocolate, 4 fl. oz. double cream, 2 tablespoons dark rum (or Ogden’s Firewhisky, if you want a change) and some cocoa powder or icing sugar for dusting. No, you lovely guys, not for dusting your furniture. You have to roll the truffles in either cocoa or icing sugar | to make them look nice. Alright. Now, you got to break the chocolate into
small pieces, heat the cream, remove it from the heat and stir in the
chocolate. Alternatively you take your wand and prepare a nice cream-chocolate
mass. Then add the spirit and cool the mixture down. Whisk the mixture until
it holds its shape – should take only three waves of your wand – then chill
until firm enough to handle. Now dust first your hands with icing sugar or
cocoa and shape the mixture into small balls, which you then roll into the
powdery substance of your choice. You can delight in those truffles for up to
3 days if you keep them airtight and cool.Professor
Snape’s Favourite Cinnamon Cookies For all of you who are not privy to the secret: Professor Snape has a fondness for cinnamon. So here’s to you, professor: 250 g flour, 150 g butter, 150 g icing sugar, 1 teaspoon cinnamon powder, 1 egg, 2 teaspoons cocoa powder, 50 g ground almonds. Mix everything except cocoa and almonds until you’ve got a nice dough. Then add cocoa and almonds, mix well, and put the dough into the refrigerator for an hour. Heat your oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Roll the dough to 4 mm height and | choose the shapes of your liking. We recommend stars.
Bake the cookies for about 10 minutes, and you’ve got something nobody, and
least of all Severus Snape, can withstand.
Chocolate-honey-trees (Warning: Bake some weeks before Christmas and leave them in an open box to loose their hard character.) You need 125 g honey, 50 g sugar, some vanilla-sugar, 50 g butter, 75 g dark chocolate, 250 g flour, baking powder and some clove powder. Melt the honey, sugar, chocolate and butter in a pan and leave it to cool down. Fill into a bowl and add the flour, baking powder and clove powder. Mix well until you get a smooth dough and put the whole thing into the fridge for half an hour. After that, roll out the dough to 5 mm and choose shapes – obviously, you should use Christmas tree shapes for those Chocolate-honey-trees. Bake them for about 10 minutes. Decorate them with molten chocolate and ground walnuts. You’ll love them! Now you know what to do to delight your friends and relatives and get a foundation for your never-ending fame as the superstar cook in your family! Enjoy the baking, tasting – and above all, enjoy Christmas! Best wishes, Harriett Kettle-Stove. |
Horticultural Horrors
| and haven’t managed to burn your advent wreath either you will
start to think about how to get rid of the latter. The first and nicest possibility would be to re-attach the black ribbon and to put it back onto the grave from which you have taken it. You should be as careful as when you got it! Relatives are somehow strange if it is about their dead ancestors. If you have your own of that kind – dead, not strange, well, maybe dead and strange would be possible as well – you can re-use the wreath and then you would not even have to be careful! But please, do take away the candles before! Of course, you can always save it as a present for next year’s Christmas, but then you should at least renew the candles! | It might look a strange present
though. Then again, the thought is what counts and not the gift itself. If you can come up with a strange story about your wreath you will be able to sell it on the muggle internet. So let’s say your wreath is possessed by a demon, hang on, no, no one would buy it then, or would someone? With some changes you can re-activate your wreath for Easter and use it as a nest – however, do not hide them behind a statue or make sure that Severus Snape won’t pass it! One broken arm really is enough! Enough is the cue. I want to wish you a very happy disposing of your advent wreath! (LPG) |
I
Hate Christmas| broom is especially proud to be able to present
another article originally written for our friends at the Quibbler.
This time censure is not the reason, but a good deal of mutual liking and the
seasonal feeling of universal friendship. And since we were lacking an
interview, we are more than grateful to Mr Lovegood and his team for the
following conversation between reporter Theophilus Tom Fool and Nigel the
Nargle. TTF: Welcome, Nigel, and a very happy Christmas time to you. NN: Happy? Who says this is a happy time? TTF: Everybody – as far as I know. NN: Then open your ears, laddie: Christmas is a whole bunch of sentimental nonsense and particular cruelty. TTF: I beg your pardon! Christmas is the time for love and friendship, for laughter and fine food… NN: Yes, yes, yes, and for oh-so-nice decoration. TTF: Exactly. It’s so nice with all the hollyberries and the mistletoe… NN: You absolute ignoramus! This decoration serves only to make the likes of me homeless! TTF: Holly? NN: No, no, no! You dunderhead, listen well: Nargles love mistletoe. They are devoted to it. It is a very close relationship, between us and each of those delicate, fragile leaves and gorgeous berries! TTF: Sounds like an obsessive love affair. NN: It’s a life affair. We care for our bunch of mistletoe and it provides shelter and food and sublime beauty for us. TTF: Humans fear mistletoe at times just because there are Nargles in them. |
NN: Well, there must needs be a means of taking revenge. Christmas time
if time for fight! TTF: What do you mean? NN: Have you really ever suffered any education? No? Yes? TTF: I might not be enlightened in the way of Nargles… NN: No certainly not. Alright, moron, pay attention. We jump into the necks of those idiots snogging carelessly under the mistletoe. Nothing funnier than the shrieks and cries of those fools for love. TTF: But it’s a cute tradition to kiss under a mistletoe! NN: No, a stupid one since every sensible person should know that a mistletoe might be “Nargle-infested”, as you unkindly term it. TTF: So what can we do to reconcile the British Nargle population? NN: Don’t cut mistletoe – protect our homes. You really don’t need yet another excuse for snogging. There’s too many of you anyway. TTF: Erm… NN: Ha. The itty-bitty journalist is speechless. I say: Homes for Nargles mean peace on earth in Christmas time! TTF: Thank you this, hum, interesting interview, Nigel. Should you already own a mistletoe, check it – and if you find a Nargle stun it and throw it out. They are better off in their natural habitat. Enjoy Christmas time, and next year think of the poor Nargles and all the other homeless creatures and do a good deed. Even the smallest gesture can be helpful. Merry Christmas to all of you! (TTF/Q) |
broom’s Christmas Carols
|
1. The Twelve Days of his Reign (sung to the melody of The Twelve Days of Christmas) On the first day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/one cup of poisonous tea. On the second day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the third day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/three cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the fourth day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/four big nerds, three cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the fifth day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/five deadly stings, four big nerds, three cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the sixth day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/six men decaying, five deadly stings, four big nerds, three cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the seventh day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/seven fires glim’ing, six men decaying, five deadly stings, four big nerds, three cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the eighth day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/eight bruises aching, seven fires glim’ing, six men decaying, five deadly stings, four big nerds, three cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the ninth day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/nine soldiers fencing, eight bruises aching, seven fires glim’ing, six men decaying, five deadly stings, four big nerds, three cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the tenth day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/ten alarm clocks beeping, nine soldiers fencing, eight bruises aching, seven fires glim’ing, six men decaying, five deadly stings, four big nerds, three cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the eleventh day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/eleven cleaners wiping, ten alarm clocks beeping, nine soldiers fencing, eight bruises aching, seven fires glim’ing, six men decaying, five deadly stings, four big nerds, three | cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. On the twelfth day of his reign,/You Know Who gave to us/twelve singers humming, eleven cleaners wiping, ten alarm clocks beeping, nine soldiers fencing, eight bruises aching, seven fires glim’ing, six men decaying, five deadly stings, four big nerds, three cold dens, two contagious coughs and one cup of poisonous tea. 2. The Dark Lord is
Coming (sung to the melody of Christmas is Coming)
The Dark Lord is coming, the times are getting bad/ we will fight him with the help of the bat/ but we understand if you cannot trust a man like that/ however, do not make the mistake of tit for tat. 3.
Now is the Time for Fright (sung to the melody of Silent Night, Holy
Night)
Now is the time for fright/no longer will your heart be light/Lord Voldemort is running wild/You know that the opposite of mild/is the word to describe these/the man and his employees. But in the muggle world/there too are some lips which are curled/you’ll find there so many people/that will make your minds go feeble/try to get the biggest piece/by that they destroy the peace. 4. Who’s
Waiting on Your Doorstep, You Can Guess (sung to the melody of Have
Yourself a Merry Little Christmas)
Who’s waiting on your doorstep, you can guess,/especially when it’s night./It’s Lord Voldemort to not bring us delight. Who’s waiting on your doorstep, you can guess,/promising to stay./The whole night long and during the light of day. And he won’t give up, until all of us will have blood of pures./I ask myself, when will we realize:/He’s just one big bore. I’ve never understood/why anyone cares to take a bow./But not only why I also ask me how./ Who’s waiting on your doorstep, you can guess, right now. And he won’t give up, until all of us will have blood of pures./I ask myself, when will we realize:/He’s just one big bore. | I’ve never understood/why anyone cares to take a bow./But not only why I also ask me how./Who’s waiting on your doorstep, you can guess, right now. 5.
Little Tom Riddle (sung to the melody of Little Saint Nick)
Ooh, beware of the Dark Lord./He’s the one we have to fear, ooh.Well, way up North where the air gets cold,/there is the hiding place of dark Lord Voldemort./And he’s the one of whom we are all afraid/because all that he can do is not love but hate. It’s little Tom Riddle – ooh, little Tom Riddle./It’s little Tom Riddle – ooh, little Tom Riddle./Run, run my dear, run, run my dear. A little boy who calls himself Lord Voldemort,/now, you must know, he’s neither little nor a Lord,/and all he has got on his mind is who to kill,/and that’s the way all his followers he will drill. It’s little Tom Riddle – ooh, little Tom Riddle./It’s little Tom Riddle – ooh, little Tom Riddle./Run, run my dear, run, run my dear. You know that his followers are the death eaters./As a sign they wear dark Marks and not light Peters./They are not worth your trust for they can only tell lies./And anyone who does despite eventually dies. It’s little Tom Riddle – ooh, little Tom Riddle./It’s little Tom Riddle – ooh, little Tom Riddle./Run, run my dear, run, run my dear. 6. Paint the
Walls (sung to the melody of Deck the Halls)Paint the walls with brows of Molly./Fa la la la la la la la la/For a brush is too expensive./Fa la la la la la la la la/Dig her deep in buck’ts of colour./Fa la la la la la la la la/Don’t forget to shake her after./Fa la la la la la la la la. Or you’ll have spots on the carpet./Fa la la la la la la la la/Careful, spread the colour even./Fa la la la la la la la la/Or it would be one big folly./Fa la la la la la la la la/And slip her off at the paint sieve./Fa la la la la la la la la. Don’t forget the parlour./Fa la la la la la la la la/There will be more time for laughter./Fa la la la la la la la la/She must feel now like a puppet./Fa la la la la la la la la/Just a joke but let’s take Stephen./Fa la la la la la la la la. |
Dark
Mark's Christmas Song
| Ever since Brian Cullen and Mike Flatley
started their campaign for a resistance-Rocks-Christmas, Mark Mulligan has
been brooding over a song for the Death Eaters. This year, he has found the
correct wording to please the ears of all of you out there who enjoy hiding
beneath black hoods. Here’s to you, whether in Azkaban or not: Come, O Ye Faithful (sing to the same melody) Come, o ye faithful, Joyful and triumphant, | O come ye, o come ye To praise the Dark Lord. He has returned to Persecute the whole wide world. O come and let us curse them, O come and let us curse them, O come and let us curse them: The Dark Lord is back! (MM) |