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Dashing Decoration Adorn Apartments

(Muggle World) Muggles, who by dull definition are unanimously unable to prettily perform mighty magic, have a funny weird way of meaningfully making their little lives less dull.
Now, the new novelty is to put pictures on white walls – but not the finely framed kind, no! These colourful commodities are known as wall tattoos, which means they simply stick to the

weary wallpaper like simple stickers. Which is, basically, what we would clearly call them.
Of course, there are many more iconic items you could dashingly display, but what you need to cleverly keep them hanging high are nails. Muggles making money finding fancy new names could call them wall piercings, probably…
(MF)

Praise the Lord for “Wertstoffhof” (Recycling Centre)

NB: As public organ of the free magical press we feel inclined to teach you something useful every now and then.

An unexpected guest can definitely turn into a possible pest. Some things can quickly cause these circumstances: the definitely too extended duration of the stay, bad behaviour, or the company of garbage as a gift for the happy hosts. (Please note that in some extreme cases all three circumstances are

fulfilled.) In the chaotic case of the good garbage we definitely draw your attention to the clean and ready recycling centre of your trust. There you can thankfully take any thing that can be recycled – hence the name. This interesting institution also accepts private and public paper, anything working with eccletricity (did you read this, Geronimo) and even compostable garbage. No need noting that we are all in for recycling centre. (MF)

Ministers Got Talent

(broompire) “What an amazing audience!” “Yes, Harriet, you are quite right. Millions of people cheering and clapping.” “I think we do have to explain to our audience at home where we are and what we are doing here tonight, Leslie.” “Good point. Well, where are we, Harriet?” “We are in London. To be precise we are in the new stadium for the Olympic Games.” “And it is unbelievably big, isn’t it Harriet.” “Overwhelmingly huge. However, the best thing is that we are not part of the audience.” “No, Harriet is quite right there we are part of the show.”
“To tell the truth, Leslie, we are the show, well not the two of us but our wonderful candidates.” “Yes, those happy few who are left of them and, of course, our jury.” “Yes, Leslie, we proudly present former Ministers of Magic Fudge and Thickness and our very special guest tonight is, who is it, Leslie?” “Harriet, it is the one and only, the wonderful and marvellous, the first and the highest Prime Minister of Great Britain: David Cameron.” “Wow, so the jury is a troupe of colleagues – more or less.” “Yes, tonight it will all stay in the family.”
“By the way, Leslie, what is ‘all’ tonight?” “Tonight we will be the witnesses of the opening of an enormous sports event, probably the biggest of its kind, equalled by none: Our candidates will conduct the opening ceremony of the Olympic Summer Games 2012 in London.” “Yes, dear audience, believe it or not, but broompire managed to get hold of the final rehearsal, stunned some of the main acts, including an obliviate spell here and there and took the remaining candidates to this place.”
”This is a good point to start from, Harriet, we do know our jury but who is left among the candidates?” “Leslie, we have lost some so far still there are enough left to put on an amazing show: Please welcome Brian Cullen and Mike Flatley, Arsenio Crumlum, Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger.” “Harriet, they do look particularly nervous tonight. Did they know what they were expecting?” “Yes, Leslie, the producers thought it a bit unfair and therefore they had a month to think of a suitable opening performance.” “A whole month, sure, they used it will and will impress us with the most magical performances we have seen so far by them.” “But hush, the national anthem is played!”
”If that wasn’t moving, I don’t know what is. It brought a river of tears to my eyes. But Harriet you are there with the candidates can you still see them?” “Yes, Leslie, I got my hankie at the ready. The first one to start is Mike Flatley and he will do part of the Riverdance show. He’s quite good, actually, unfortunately, if it is only done by one single person it loses some of its magic."

"In fact, I’m not quite sure whether this will spell good bye for Mr Flatley tonight” “No, Harriet, certainly not. Just look at the smiles of the jurors. I think we have three Riverdance fans sitting here tonight. Thumbs up for Mike!”
"Draco Malfoy is next. What is that he is raising his wand. Will we be the witnesses of the worst of the unforgivable curses?" "No, Leslie, these are sparks of fire." "But Harriet, isn't it a little bit too early for the fireworks. That will certainly lose him some points."
”Leslie, the next one to perform is Brian Cullen. He’s currently on his way to the highest point of the pitch. Will he play Quidditch?” “Harriet, I hope not, as far as I can remember he wasn’t too good at that back at school, besides we would need Oliver Wood here as a juror and he is nowhere in sight. Is he clearing his throat?” “Yes, Leslie, I think what will follow is one of his famous speeches.”
”O for a muse of fire, be not afeard,
Can this cockpit hold the million dreams we’ve had,
That gave delight although they were very weird,
If these shadows have offended, made you sad,
Think but this and all will be well:
It was a dream that sent you to hell.”
”Rather poetic, Harriet, don’t you think. “Rather plagiarism, Leslie.” “Be that as it may, the jury loved it and the audience is cheering. I think I can even here shouts of ‘more, more’” “Well, we don’t want to exhaust the young poet too much, Leslie, do we. Hermione is the next one to conquer the stage she has performed brilliantly so far.” “What is that Harriet, the jury are putting their hands to their ears.”
“Yes, Leslie, so much critique is not for everyone’s ears. Chaotic traffic, enormous costs, pollution, destruction of natural habitat. No wonder she is booed off the stage. Poor Hermione, well, telling the truth doesn’t make you a lot of friends.” “Or any friends. The people are close to riot right now.” “But what is that? It’s a hailstorm, no it’s sweets falling from the sky. This saves the day. People are cheering again and so is the jury. Hooray for Arsenio!”
”Well, I’m afraid this means this was the last we have seen and heard of Hermione, at least in this show.” “Well, should broompire ever do a show for the opposition, Hermione will be the winner.” “Come quickly now, there are lots of curses to be put on persons!”
Those of you who also watched the real thing might have noticed that Gilderoy Lockhart managed to steal his way into the ceremony in the disguise of Shakespearean actor, director and writer Sir Ken Branagh, performing an impressive speech from the bard’s own The Tempest.

“I’m afraid I don’t have so many secrets.”

(broompire) It has already become a tradition and still we are particularly proud to have Britain’s own Muggle Prime Minister as a guest, even more so as it is a very special year seeing the diamond jubilee and the Olympic games.
MF: A very warm welcome to broompire headquarters.
DC: Thanks for having me.
MF: Prime Minister, this year is packed with exciting and important events, how do you keep fit?
DC: Oh, that is an interesting question. Actually, I have a secret recipe.
MF: A secret recipe, well, naturally, this is something you will have to share.
DC: (laughs) Sure, now, you take six organic lemons and 30 cloves of garlic, you mash it and add a litre of water, then you put the whole thing
through a sieve. Every evening you take a small glass of it. It’s good for

your health.
MF:
And good against vampires, too.
I guess.
DC: That’s the nice side effect.
MF: This is certainly a tip we will pass on to the remaining candidates. Another thing we could pass on to them is the secret of what makes a good Prime Minister.
DC: Well, actually, it’s the voters, it’s always the voters who decide who will be the Prime Minister.
MF: Or a jury…
DC: …or a jury. It’s not much that you can do. Either people like you or they don’t. That’s the whole secret of my success.
MF: That’s not very re-assuring, is it?
DC: No, definitely not.
MF: You’re one of the rare Prime Minister who has to deal with a royal family. Are there any secrets of how to deal with them?
DC:
No, I’m afraid I don’t have so
many secrets.
MF:
It seems politics is not so much about secrets as we
have thought or are made believe.
DC: That’s true, it shouldn’t be secretive. A politician should be open and honest.
MF: Should be. As a politician you have to join loads of cultural, political and economical events, what do you like best?
DC:  I like those events best that illustrate how wonderful our nation is.
MF: As did the opening ceremony the other night.
DC: Quite right.
MF: Thank you for taking the time to talk to us.
DC: You’re welcome.
One of the rare interviews which did not break up in the middle of an interesting question and one of the few interviewees who might even come back one day to talk to us again. (MF)

The Bazaar Is Open!

(London) With a magnificent show the 307th Magical Olympic Games were opened on July 30. Because of the sad lack of a fit Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge did the honours.
Traditionally set to coincide with the Muggle Olympic Games to avoid speculation because of funnily-clad strangers, the Magical Olympic Games started with just as much pomp and circumstance as their Muggle counterpart. Her Majesty the Queen and the Muggle Prime Minister David Cameron were guests of honour when the Olympic Flame was lit by an uncommonly pretty Welsh Green dragon. The current Quidditch world champions, the Irish national squad, did a complicated stunt show. Magical sportsmen from all over the world were there, accompanied by their home countries’ most prominent magical creatures.
Celestina Warbeck, celebrated singer, performed the national anthem and everybody in the stands was delighted with the

magnificent fireworks displayed courtesy of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes.
Now for all of you who are baffled about magical Olympic disciplines, we advise you to check for further details with the Department of Magical Sports and Games with the Ministry of Magic. However, Quidditch is a discipline of course, as well as Duelling, Human Transfiguration, Hippogriff Riding, Gobstones, and for some unknown reason Canoeing.
The contests will be broadcast both by the WWN and broompire. Luna Lovegood and Lee Jordan provide the commentary at broompire.
Should anything out of the ordinary happen you will find it in newbroom, of course, but otherwise we will not bother you with too much sport. The written section of broompire will deal with politics, as usual.
So, have a great summer with the absolutely favourite pastimes of your choosing! (BC&MF)

 

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To take part is all, Severus!


Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.