broom Breaking News

Popular Pill Puts Pressure on President

(USA) The cantankerous candidates of this year's political presidential campaign clamour about the most irritating issues. The latest idiotic instance is concerned with criticizing the ingenious idea of the present president to introduce insurance for everyone.
From a European point of view, the American abhorrence of social security in the form of a dull duty for individual insurance seems slightly stupid, if not utterly under-educated. Americans feel that insurance indicates the rise of socialism - a severe spectre ever since the Cold War.
If the idiotic idea makes us shake our heads heavily, the madness making its wicked way into the creepy campaign now will have us scream. Insurance possibly pays for pills - and the pill, popular for cool contraception, too. Since personal health is an issue, the present president sagely suggested that all employers eager to get a company contract with an insurance

institute must make sure said insurance also pays the pill and other methods of medical contraception. sounds fine to you and me, and clever, too - not so for roaring Republicans and medievally-minded monsignores. Both parties point out that for Catholics and other Christians contraception is fiercely forbidden.
Thus, Obama's idea insinuated that women would be forced to forego their beliefs and do something considered a severe sin. In European eyes, this far-fetched fly is certainly comical. I mean, nobody is forced to get the pill only if the insurance might pay for it - humbug! If you don't want it, you don't get it. But the USA sadly lack European Enlightenment and arguments as asinine as the above-mentioned might well make Obama lose office. That is a shame for a country considering itself the world's leader. If the world's leader is such a hypocrite, something went badly wrong. (BC)

Neat Knitting New Necessity

A wild wave of knitting needles is crossing the country. The latest trend is happy made hand made great garment. Yearning young and already old have unpacked the useful utensils of creative handicraft. Nice needles in all differing different shapes and sizes are willingly working while the wonderful witch is carefully conducting the perfect pattern. This terrific trend was early initiated by marvellous, wonderful Molly Weasley, who surely surprises her fine family with a nicely knitted pale pullover

every cold Christmas. This interesting inspiration was publicly and privately passed on to our two able employees. They too are nicely knitting super scarves and soft socks. They are even needlessly knitting for the proud personnel of our indoor outdoor office. Even grumpy Geronimo our perfect printer is carefully covered by a long layer of wonderfully worked wool. However, he obviously seems to elaborately enjoy it – at least he hasn’t gone on a severe general strike ever since. (All)

newbroom-e-gram

February, 1st – Today is Severus' saint's day. We assume that our invitations to the party simply got lost in the owl and visit his place anyway. No one there. By the way it's not true that we emptied the wine cellar.
February, 16th – Today is the saint's day of one of our employees. This spells party again! We have nice wine and the sun is shining!
February, 17th – Our campaign Resistance Rocks has cost another politician his job: German president Christian Wullf hands in notice. He is accused of having received gifts of friends in return for favours. Presumption of innocence!

February, 24th – Another politican resigns: Christian Switak, the responisble minister for finance of Tyrole/Austria for more or less the same reason as the German president did. This proves to be a very successful year.
February, 28th – The last day of the month and the new edition of newbroom is finished. Geronimo is working and we are proud of our perferct time management despite the shortness of this month.
February, 29th – An extra day? But we don't need an extra day! newbroom was finished yesterday. Can't we save this extra day for another month, Horace? Horace?

Ministers Got Talent

(broompire) “Hello everybody and welcome to the world greatest show. My name is Harriet Kettle-Stove and this is my dear colleague Leslie Pagana Greenacre.” These were the famous words that opened broompire’s latest show. Let’s take a look behind the scenes and find out what happened in the first episode.
“The jury has gathered. You will all remember our former Ministers of Magic: Cornelius Fudge and Pius Thickness. Tonight they are joined by Sarah Palin from the US. Good evening lady and gentlemen. Harriet, what can you tell us about our candidates?”
“Leslie, they are all here and are if I may reveal that quite nervous.” Naturally, the candidates had a good reason to be nervous as at that moment they didn’t even know about the task they had to face. Here are some scenes which will illustrate the tense that was in the air.
“Brian and Mike, you have always been very good friends. Will this show change anything about that?” Harriet asked. “No, we will always be friends even if I win.” Brian replied. “Or I!” Mike added. “After this outburst of hubris, let’s have a word with Hermione. Hermione, what are you expecting tonight?” “Harriet, I hope it will be a challenging task something like ending a military conflict or something comparable.”
“Well, maybe not. I’m convinced that the public is much more interested in the dashing appearance of their politicians. Just think what dear Rita is constantly reporting about. Magical Me in Wizardce or in …” “Excuse me, Gilderoy. I am not writing about stuff like that! I am a political journalist covering the most pressing topics of politics in our millennium.”
”We’re back with the jury. You, of course, know the task and Sarah Palin – as guest juror – has the honour to read it to the candidates. Mrs Palin, please.” “I’m so sorry but I’ve forgotten my glasses.” Mrs Palin replied. Leslie frowned and waited for an order from the director. “Mr Fudge, then would you please be so kind…” “Of course!” He said and jumped from his chair.
”Dear friends, wizards and countrymen…” At this moment Mr

Thickness tugged on Fudge’s sleeve. “Keep it short, the first candidates have already fallen asleep.” He hissed. First Mr Fudge decided to ignore this friendly comment, however, when Mr Thickness drew his wand he simply cleared his throat.
”As a world politician you will have to visit many places and write something nice into the guest books of the different cities. The first requirement of a good politician is to have a joint handwriting. Your task is to write a paragraph about the beauties of London. Your handwriting and style will form the basis of our judgement.”
First the contestants were quite puzzled but then each sat down and took a piece of parchment and a quill. “While the others are thinking carefully and silently, Miss Skeeter is constantly ordering her quill around. It seems as if no one has told her that quick quote quills are against the rules. Leslie there is also some noise coming from the jury. What is going on?”
”Harriet, the jury is in uproar as Mrs Palin is here without her glasses and obviously as blind as a mole and cannot fulfil her own task correctly.” Leslie revealed. “Be that as it may. The contestants have finished and the time is up as well. Let’s stroll around and see what they have written. Oh Mr. Crumlum, that really is beautiful, may I show this to our audience?” “Naturally.” “Mr Crumlum did not only write a beautiful paragraph but he also had time to add a little drawing of Tower Bridge. Thank you. But what is that Miss Skeeter still has an empty piece of parchment in front of her. Leslie, what does that mean for this task and the other candidates?”
”Harriet, this has been put down in the rules: This spells that Miss Skeeter did not pass the task and therefore has to leave the show. There is no need for the jury to decide anything as this is the most obvious case possible. She is the worst and the worst has to leave. Good bye Miss Skeeter!”
”While the jury is still complaining, we say good bye not only to Miss Skeeter but also to the audience out there.” Harriet said. “Have a wonderful month and make sure not to miss the next episode of Ministers Got Talent!” (HKS&LPG)

Always the First

(broompire) She was the first woman to become governor of Alaska. She was the first republican woman to be nominated for the vice-presidency. And she was the first juror on newbroom’s own Ministers Got Talent. And still she finds the time to be the first of our jurors to answer a couple of questions for us.
MF: Mrs Palin, your name Sarah is often abbreviated to ‘Sally’ by your friends and family. Aren’t you angry to be connected to the unnerving little sister of Charlie brown?
SP: It’s in no way connected to Charlie brown but to the military.
MF: Sally Army?
SP: No, sally attack!
MF: Nice! Mrs Palin your life so far has been quite exciting. At school you were not only successful in sports but also with the boys which led to your eloping with your current husband. However, you waited until you were 24.
SP: Well, haste is never a good adviser!
MF: You’re quite right there, of course. You worked as a fisherman then. You became beauty queen and you joined the republican party. Is there any time for private life?
SP: Aren’t five children enough proof of a fulfilled private life?!

 MF: You support the right to own and use guns and you think capital punishment is a good thing. Don’t you think that if you got rid of the first you could also get rid of the latter?
SP: No.
MF: But it could be well worth a trial?
SP: No.
MF: Your ancestors are of Irish, British and German origin, which typical characteristics of these different cultures do you possess?
SP: I’m American through and through.
MF: So which typical American qualities do you have?
SP: Well, I don’t speak too many languages, I want to rule the world and I love violence.
MF: This doesn’t form a nice picture of yourself…
SP: Sure, it shows that I am self-confident, modest and…
MF: …nuts.
SP: I beg your pardon!
MF: And your husband is partly Inuit, a people that is coming from the cold north…
SP: There is no need for racism and discrimination!
MF: Actually, we just wanted to know how the traits of his character added to your character.		 SP: He didn’t, I added to his.
MF: That is only natural of course. I guess you also added to the characters of your children.
SP: Any mother does!
MF: So one of your sons is in the army doing what soldiers do. And one of your daughters had turned you into a grandma before she turned you into a mother-in-law. That’s great character formation!
SP: You’re diving quite deep into my private life there!
MF: Alright so what about your working life. A company of which 40% was owned by you and your husband was closed by the state because of missing reports and fees.
SP: Blimey, is that the time. I really have to run…
MF: …for presidency?
Obviously the interview was done after Mrs Palin had done her job as a juror. We guess we will never see her again. Still we would like to thank anybody involved in the successful interview, namely Mrs Palin, Mike Flatley, our dear employee who stood in for the broken quick-quote-quill, Geronimo for printing it out in such a friendly way and Brian Cullen who only took till after the interview for the preparation of the oh so necessary coffee! (All)

A Trip to Hell – On Board a Ship with Several Hordes of School Kids

(The World) How often have we witches and wizards wondered about the somehow strange religious beliefs of you Muggles. The concept of hell which was presented to us for these occasions has always perplexed us – up to now!
Now what had been planned as a nice trip to a harbour turned out to be not such a nice trip to hell. Actually, it started when we tried to make our way back from the washing room: Thousands of school kids crossed our way or rather blocked our way, were in our way or whatever your preferred expression for these sorts incidents should be. Knowing that most of these little ferrets were safely stored away in the

washing room, we made our way up to the upper-deck of the ship – where several thousand more school kids were stored not safely and not away - but we managed.
We found ourselves a place with table when some school kids invaded our own private space, asked for a seat but in fact took the table. We were pushed aside and left to our fates.
However, brave us, we, nevertheless, unpacked our notebook and wrote down this neat article for newbroom – alright, originally it was supposed to be about the growing numbers of trampolines in Muggle backyards, but hey there’s still time to write that. (All)

 Sudoku
 

 

 

7

 

 2

 

  

 

 

  

7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 5  

 

 

 

1

  

7

 

 8

 

 

 

 

 

7

5

1

7

 

 

4

8

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4

1

7

5

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

 

 

7

4

1

 

 

 

2

 

  

Severus can solve anything!

Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.