broom Breaking News

Another Annual Anniversary

Another annual anniversary announced itself this modern month by a couple of cute cards which finally found its very way into our official office. Some personal presents and generous gifts also were thankfully taken to our happy headquarters. A couple of cakes with excellent icing as well as some well-deserved drinks were duly delivered to our editorial department. Luckily, some intimate invitations had been secretly sent out so that our  service stuff was privately present for a public party. Cool champagne, spiritual sparkling wine, popular pumpkin pie and black forest cherry cake – definitely delicious. Unfortunately, the upcoming edition of newbroom might merely be out in a different layout and might maybe lazily delayed – depends on the duration of our pretty party. Cheers!
(BC&MF)

Funny Faithful Fellowship Founded

(La Habra, USA) Strange scenes ominously occur in the unique USA: Crazy Christians founded a faithful fellowship to wonderingly worship our own one and only Chosen One, Harry Potter!
“It’s indescribably inspiring to hear about holy Harry,” a male member of the Christian community eagerly enthused. “We

finally founded Potter’s Christian Fellowship to celebrate the wondrous victory over vicious V. and make completely clear that Harry is indeed the charming Chosen One.” New members are always welcomed warmly, as associates informed us. Go and see for yourselves if you want. We don’t.
(ALL)

Toast for Toast Sake

We here at broom are not only saying ‘happy birthday us’ but we are also toasting us. Many times before we have taken you, dear reader, on an etymological trip, this month we want to look closely at the word toast and its connotations.
Of course, we here at broom by far are not clever enough and therefore we have invited the toast master to join us in our quest. We started this day this morning with toasted bread, meaning we roasted it. As a clever reader you will know that you don’t necessarily need bread to toast but you can toast yourself.

If you roast yourself this will include that you feel warm as toast – obviously – and think it to be toasty. Then again you might just want to toast your hands or you prefer to be toasted under the sun. Fine by us! While you do so you can toast a toast to a toast, namely us, maybe adding a nice toast.
Whatever you do don’t have us on toast! We here at broom would like to propose a toast to our dear readers who have been adoring us for eight times twelve months now. This is to you!

(BC&MF)


newbroom-e-gram
June 3 It really seems a shame to waste those glorious sunny early summer hours in our office. We decided to do something worthwhile tomorrow.
June 4 It is Saturday, it is sunny, and we’re out to do something great: watch Quidditch up at Hogwarts. It’s Slytherin versus Ravenclaw, and we do our best to cheer on Ravenclaw. However, watching Quidditch is not like in the old days. Especially the comments lack the fervent Gryffindor bias we were so used to when Patience Wood had the job. And there was no Anne Symmons asking if the Schnitzel had finally been caught. Oh dear, we’re growing old!
June 7 The realisation that we are growing old hit us hard. Okay, so Brian’s hair had said goodbye for good some years ago, but we did not consider it as a sign of old age – only as bad luck. We have to do some research on pensions.
June 10 We just found out that Muggles pay taxes to get pensions when they are old. However, the magical system is a bit more complicated, since we do not work with virtual money. For example, Muggle don’t have vaults for their savings, they
have little books with numbers representing money. Any taxes are just erased from the books – or so we understand. In our world, the ministry of Magic regularly sends out forms to fill in your income, then they send an owl telling you how much you should pay for services – and you give permission to a goblin to withdraw that amount. That pays for the Ministry. Does it pay for pensions?
June 16 It does! We asked Percy Weasley, and he replied that of course the Ministry takes care of pensions. Well, in that case, we’re fine!
June 26 Okay, if we want to get a pension we need income – we need new broom. We need articles!!!
June 30 Oh dear, the last day of June and we’re not even allowed to enter out offices right now because somebody spilled some poisonous gas in there. Nice attack, that.
July 2 Phew, the gas is gone. Turns out it wasn’t an attack but a Stinking Salamander hiding under the office cupboard. Hagrid took care of it, and we just opened the windows to let out the stink.


Brian Cullen Honoured!

(Whittier, USA) The city of Whittier paid homage to the merits of newbroom’s editor-in-chief Brian Aloysius Cullen by naming a street after him. “We saw it as absolutely necessary to do something spectacularly outrageous to acknowledge all that newbroom has accomplished,” a spokesman for the city announced. Among newbroom’s successes is bringing down various magical and Muggle politicians. “Mr Cullen and Mr Flatley also played an important role in bringing down the last governor of California. By naming a street for one of the eminent editors who fight for the truth no matter how many times their offices are raided, the city of Whittier wishes to show their allegiance to the campaign of RESISTANCE ROCKS,” the spokesman said.
As ever more cities and supporters join newbroom’s

campaign, Brian Cullen accepted the honour presented to him in good grace. Incidentally, Cullen Street is lined with beautiful Jacaranda trees which bloom purple in spring, and leads to The Quad, a shopping centre. Three cheers for Whittier and Brian Cullen! (MF)

 

newbroom's Next Best Bad Boy Board

Although the eminent editors were up to mischief at the Daily Prophet, they still kept secret what they had dubbed THE PLAN: the plan to found their own magical magazine and running it in defiance of the Ministry and the powers that be.
In the meantime, it was hard to bide their time. While Mike was completely enchanted by Miranda Donovan, Brian embarked on an affair with a lovely but sadly intellectually challenged girl called Susan. Although thus preoccupied, there was always THE PLAN in their minds. And annoying Rita Skeeter was not off the schedule either! One of the most memorable pranks was sending Rita a gift for her birthday. You might think that is nice and kind and what not, but in fact, when you send somebody a huge lump of sandalwood incense, what you do is basically sending them a week’s worth of migraine.
Consequently, Rita was not very pleased with Brian and Mike anyway when something occurred that was to stir the Wizarding World. The Triwizard Tournament was about to take place at Hogwarts School, and of course the Daily Prophet wanted its best reporters on the spot. Rita Skeeter went. So did Brian and Mike, although the editor in chief, Jonathan Jackson, was not exactly the one who sent them. With their own sense for business, our soon-to-be editors knew this was the chance for the big break. However, there was still Rita in the way!
Thanks to the overuse of her Quickquotes quill, Rita soon was banned from the Hogwarts grounds – not so Brian and Mike who seized the chance of interviewing several people, writing

insider articles and annoying Rita no end. Working at the Prophet’s London offices became more and more strenuous thanks to the tensions between Rita and her supposed minions. Preparing for the worst, Brian and Mike set out to find accommodations for their very own magazine and soon found them: the dilapidating shack owned by Doris Crockford that stood right on the High Street of Hogsmeade. It was pricey and just a ruin. But it was available.
Still, things went rough but not desperately so – until the unthinkable happened. Voldemort returned to power and killed Cedric Diggory right in the last task of the Triwizard Tournament. And Rita, and Fudge, and Jackson, they all closed their eyes to the truth and did nothing! Not so our valiant two. Brian and Mike were called on by Dumbledore to report the truth, and they did. Unfortunately the consequence was that they were sacked from the Daily Prophet’s offices. They left, and took Geronimo with them.
What looks like utter defeat is actually a phoenix-like story: From the ashes of being sacked, Brian and Mike rose to editors of their own magazine, set up in their new Hogsmeade headquarters rented by Albus Dumbledore himself. broom, as the lone voice of truth, emerged and became the voice not only of Brian and Mike but of everyone fighting Voldemort and the Death Eaters.
How broom fared at the beginning and what adventures our heroic editors had to face will be revealed soon – here, in newbroom!

 

Anniversary Interview

(newbroom Headquarters) Yes, it is that special time of the year again! All of newbroom’s current stuff have assembled in our cosy office. Oh, keep off the grass, will you – only joking! And each one of them has raised the glass to their, your and our favourite monthly magazine. The reason for this is quite obvious: it is our 7th anniversary. As a special treat we offer you an interview with our employees-formerly-known-as-slaves.
newbroom: What does it feel like to enjoy the enhanced status of employee after having been a slave for so long?
EFKAS: Would feel even better if we were paid. It’s only the name that changed after all.
newbroom: One of you has moved to

the US now providing newbroom with a 24 hour editorial department. That was of course a brilliant idea! Whose was it?
EFKAS: Actually, the intention was to flee…after all there had been no vacation in all those eight years and it was high time to get away from newbroom.
newbroom: In the course of your working for newbroom you have been sent to the most different of places. Which one was the most interesting?
EFKAS: The Muggle supermarket – anything is better than the office actually.
newbroom: Begging your pardon, wouldn’t you agree that you are fortunate to work in one of the nicest offices you could possibly find in the magical world?
EFKAS: Sure.
newbroom:
Who is your favourite boss?
EFKAS: In fact, we like Geronimo most.
newbroom: Naturally, you know about our plans to form a big media empire: broompire. How would you define your roles in this process?
EFKAS: As slaves.
newbroom: Be that as it may. Have a wonderful party and enjoy yourselves.
EFKAS: Thanks.

This month we would like to thank all of our stuff, past, present and future. Thanks for being so reliable and please do keep up your good work otherwise we would have to do it. (All)

Sudoku

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Cheers, Severus!




Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.