broom Breaking News

Alaskan Arctic Wildflowers Wanted

(Diagon Alley) Professional potioneers particularly pine for freshly found flowers making mean mixtures work wildly.
Recently, researchers revealed the potential powers of Alaskan arctic wildflowers wilting on the rare rocks, such as the flaming fireweed. Ferocious fireweed flocks out when barely boiled and

produces phlegm which heals haematomas. Another asset is frigid arnica which is used to usefully keep tomcats from purposefully pursuing pussies.
So warily watch out for these treasures and make sure to buy in bulk! (ALL)

Confusing Costs in Muggle Market

(The Muggle World) Every instance when the willing editors of neglected newbroom set out to search for some fantastic facts in the non-magical Muggle part of this popular plant, they come across something strange. However, this terrible time nothing happened until suddenly their stomachs were empty. Being all in the chocolate consumption mood they worked out their way to the closest supermarket. The cool choice of chocolates there was simply overwhelming! Also overwhelming were the calculated costs. And simply senseless were the changing sizes of the presented packs. You can privately buy one and the same popular product as 100g, 200g, 250g and

300g no need to mention that the product’s prizes varies according to its sizes. Hunger hurts and therefore they packed the premier pack they put their eyes on. Some steps later they stumbled over a lower priced product of the like. They hurriedly returned the former form and went back to the lower priced package to find nothing! They had to walk back to the first shelf, grab the goody and cross the corridors. Some steps later they stumbled over a lower priced product of the like that was even a lower priced product of the like than before. They packed the cheaper box ‘cause they returned the expensive pack. What an odd odyssey! (All)


newbroom-e-gram
May 1 Labour Day! Guess what? We took the day off and went to the Three broomsticks to celebrate work and the working class.
May 2 We cured our raging headaches with a lot of coffee. No use working, really!
May 5 Due to some Death Eater activity we cannot publish newbroom on time. You see, we had yet another raid – thank you so much, Lucius, for smashing up our ink cabinet.
May 9 All’s back to normal, even Geronimo who saw the smashed ink cabinet as a personal insult. Needless to say the Death Eaters did not manage to kick us out of business.
May 15 Since we are still in business we have to get some work done. It does not exactly help that one of our sl… employees is miles away – although we have to say she does her work. Still, it’s easier to have our unpaid employees close by.		 May 20 If Lucius comes round again we will douse him in ink! Doesn’t he have more important targets, like, say, Harry Potter? Or is he thought to be too stupid to take on that job?
May 21 If he is considered too stupid, well, we suggest he can become the new Minister for Magic. No brains needed for the job, and we haven’t had a minister yet who we could not bring down.
May 22 We composed a letter to Vicious V to ask him to kick out Pius Thicknesse and put Lucius in his place. Wouldn’t make much of a difference, and maybe Lucius starts to take care of himself again.
May 30 Oops, over all our political plotting we almost forgot we have a magazine to run. Now we do have to hurry!
May 31 Luckily May has 31 days, that gave us the time we needed. Here’s newbroom, and Lucius, you know what you can do: (CENSORED)!


United States of Faith!

(USA) Our eminent editors continue their insightful reports about the USA, a really unknown territory to magical people and Muggles alike.
Everyone who ever spent some time in the United States will realize that people strongly identify with their religion. Everyone has “a church” to which he or she is “associated” – and this is not a question of denomination only, for there are simply so many churches around it does not suffice to say you are a member of the Protestant or Catholic church, oh no! In return, Americans just don’t understand that most Europeans only have this strong link to “a church” when they belong to a free church or sect (which, incidentally, are the normal churches here, every church is a free church in the European sense of the word). Somehow, this over-abundance of religious communities makes me want to turn atheist at once!
Prayer is everywhere, even in restaurants – embarrassing, really, to display something private so publicly! It’s almost like

somebody stripping naked in front of you – and believe us, this would not sit well with any American, so why do they have to wear their faith on their sleeves?
What is really amazing is that the USA banned religion from all that is considered state. Consequently there are no religious holidays observed. Except for Easter Sunday and Christmas Day. The Americans are so secularized that they pray for forgiveness every day, we guess. Must be funny to watch them grovelling from Heaven!
Especially funny is that there are psychics everywhere. On every corner you can have some palmistry, card reading or crystal gazing done, in the good old Muggle fraud tradition! How does that relate to the openly displayed Christian faith? Perhaps praying, like nearly everything else, is just exaggerated because exaggerating is the essence of the American Way of Life.
(BC&MF)

 

newbroom's Next Best Bad Boy Board

Rita Skeeter kept Brian and Mike constantly on their toes what with the alarming speed she got through her quick-quotes-quills and the volatile way she changed and re-changed her appointments. It was not exactly resembling real journalistic work, no matter what others said.
Still, it was what paid the rent. As everybody knows, rents in Diagon Alley are so high they can ruin people. Mike and Brian shared a tiny flat with three rooms, but since most of their time was spent running errands for Rita, the sardine-can cosiness of the flat did not register much. In between errands both Mike and Brian tried to find a story worthwhile to write an article about. The contact to some former fellow students did help them to get some exclusive information on the wizarding communities in Muggle cities. The series on the hidden magical life was even published. You may have read it in the Daily Prophet at the time, under the headline of “Rita Skeeter’s Magical Mission”.
Treatment like that made the future editors furious, yet they

were completely helpless. There was no way to battle against the injustice without losing their jobs. At least Mike had a bright thing in those dark times. A young reporter had started at the Daily Prophet, called Miranda. She was pretty and clever, and she thought Mike’s Irish lilt completely cute. Soon the two started going out, and Brian had to take over parts of Mike’s work to cover for him What did wonders for Mike’s love life completely wrecked Brian’s.
One day it just was too much: Rita ran out of quick-quotes-quills in the middle of a tricky interview with Cornelius Fudge, the appointments at the hairdresser’s and the nail technician’s were booked at the same time and the landlord threatened to raise the rent because he had got rid of the ghoul in the attic flat. It was high time, Brian decided, to change things. And Mike agreed, even though there was Miranda to consider.
What happened after this memorable day is the stuff legends are made out of, and will be revealed in the next edition of broom.

 

“Fine? Are You Kidding?”

(The World) In well-known Muggle terms time is money, however, to Horace, the creator of time, time is everything: profession, passion and problem. No one will be surprised to hear about the mess people like us are doing to it, and the trouble that is - consequently - caused. This month he has generously taken some of his time – well, he has enough anyway – to talk to one of us.
MF: Horace, thank you so much for producing some extra time to be here with us.
H: No, no, no. I would never ever do anything as disgusting as that! It’s only you witches and wizards who come up with an instrument to create extra time. People like me have learned to organise their time and therefore are in no need of any extra time.
MF: I didn’t know there were more of your sort…
H: That is the problem, there is only I like me. All the other people are constantly causing problems.
MF: What problems?
H: Well, you have already mentioned time turner. This machine is the source of a lot of trouble. As you will well know there are these three female employees, Urd, Verdandi and Skuld; I have and they are spinning the time of each and everyone. There are almost 7 billion people in this world. One would think this is enough work for them. And then some dim-wits request two threads at the same time! You know that I have to pay them extra for that – but what do you know about paying.
MF: But everything else is fine?
H: Fine? Are you kidding? You people are causing a lot of trouble. There is not only the sheer mass that is troubling me, or the extra time some need, no there is also the fact that you have developed 25 time zones! What is a man like me to make of that? There are 24 hours a day and you give me 25 time zones! All just because some strange people

only want a thirty minute difference to their neighbours, others prefer 45 minutes. Can you imagine the mess they are creating in my protocols?
MF: I guess, we get your point. What…
H: Some nerds even came up with summer time and winter time? What I that supposed to mean? Who needs a different time in winter or in summer?
MF: They want to save some daylight I…
H: Save some daylight? For what? Believe me, I know what all these 7 billion people are doing all day long - even Arthur comes to me to ask who has been naughty or nice - and you talk to me about saving daylight? I tell you something, they are wasting daylight!
MF: Yes, but to get to a different…
H: Picture this my protocols are already in a mess, the threads of the people get mixed up as some want to have two lives and finally a joker comes up and invents the international date line! On one side it’s yesterday on the other tomorrow. Where do I put that down in my protocols?
MF: I don’t know.
H: Right, you don’t know and you don’t care and I tell you why you don’t care because people like you never care about the important things in life! Now sit down and get your magazine finished I will not extend this month just because you are not able to organize your time better! I have to take care of more important things now.
MF: Thank...you!
At this point of the conversation Horace checked his watch, stood up and walked out of the office. We were so puzzled that we would have almost forgotten to stop the quick-quote-quill. Luckily we had it at work, Horace keeps talking so fast! Anyway, thanks for having been our guest today or rather that day. (MF)

Crossword Puzzle  
1 
 IX
2   
   
 VI  
3   VII  
4   VIII            
     
5   XI              
   V
6         
 II  
  7 X     8    9 
       
  10           III
     IV    
     I  
     
  




Across 

4 name of your favourite Down 6

5 popular sport

6 best editor

7 season

10 best editor



Down

1 sort of puzzle (spelled backwards)

2 sort of smalltalk (spelled backwards)

3 reason to clelbrate

6 written document of great importance

8 regular period

9 sort of monologue

10 short piece of important information





The looked for phrase:


____ ____ ____ ____ ____  ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____  ____ ____!

I    II   III  III  IV    II    V    V    VI  VII  VIII IX    X    II  IX   IV    XI   X











Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. 
Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books 
and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial 
and/or commercial gain is intended.