broom Breaking News

Striking Strike Strictly Stops Public Publication of Proud Periodical

Suddenly a surprising surprise strike probably put partly all possible private and public processes to an awaited entire end. The whole world's workings had simply shown the wild workers what to daringly do with their total time: really this rare riot is a reasonable result of reliable Resistance Rocks. Like a bold boomerang it ravishly returned or badly backfired if you privately prefer that. Some thousands of strict strikes lightly led to a simple series of sure strikes in your marvellous monthly magazine.

Many or merely most members of the serious staff deliberately put down their popular work. Therefore, there will be no new capable copy of this month’s magazine for able April. Instead of silently skimming through another edition, you will have to make do with the late last month magazine of mild March. Maybe May will soon see a significant and new newspaper sheet of neat newbroom. Hopefully, you will be ready to read this extraordinary edition and did not yourself gallantly go on strict strike. (All)

newbroom-e-gram
March 2 It is still cold and grey. And this is the month spring is supposed to start! We have planted loads of bulbs: tulips, daffodils, crocusses - and now they should make our office more cheerful, ASAP!
March 9 One week later, and the first crocusses dared to look out of the soil. They are soooo cute. Rosemary, our duck, promptly ate the very first yellow crocus she saw and fell sick. Stupid duck!
March 13 We start to plan for - please be awed - Easter newbroom. Oh yes, do trust your eyes, Easter broom 2011, even, not last year's.
March 15 Planning is hard work, especially when so many nice flowers bloom all around us, the sun is out and all we want is lie in our enw hammock enjoying a cold beer.		 March 20 We planned Easter newbroom. So far, so good.
March 21 Ah, what a stupid thing to miss. We forgot there was April newbroom first. Oh well, let's see if we have something up our sleeves.
March 28 No, we haven't, so we send out our employees to do the tedious work. Luckily they do not want a payrise. We couldn't afford more than the two knuts an hour we are paying them. Life was easier when they still were slaves.
March 31 At least this month time has not been tempered with and there IS a 31st day. And newbroom has been done for a week. Don't we have really good employees? They are even worth the payrise of a knut an hour we promised if Easter newbroom was finished on time and with a live interviewee. Note: This will never, ever happen!
  “We’re On Strike!”

(newbroom Headquarters) Revolution is in the air and it flew back to its origins. Revolutionary riots are shaking the basis of your favourite monthly magazine. Of course, we here at newbroom were the first to talk to the strikers.
newbroom: Generally speaking everyone is on strike at the moment – so we could say it is a general strike. What is the reason?
Strikers: Actually, we not only have one reason to strike. Each and every person seems to have his, her or its own reason.
newbroom: Which would be…
Strikers: The employees went on strike because they get no salary, for example.
newbroom: A very good reason. And what about the others?

 Strikers: The employers went on strike because all the employees refused to do all the work.
newbroom: Quite sensible, too. And who else is on strike?
Strikers: All of the free lancers went on strike the moment they were asked or rather ordered to do all the work instead of the employees.
newbroom: A bit naughty, isn’t it. Anyone else who is on strike?
Strikers: There is indeed one more: Geronimo.
newbroom: Interesting. Why would a printer go on strike?
Strikers: Paper jam.
newbroom: But this should be handled quite easily.
Strikers: Theoretically yes, however, if there is no one there to get rid of the problem, well, it will prevail.		 newbroom: That’s only natural. Still, there is another question which needs to be answered: Who put up this edition of newbroom?
Strikers: That’s quite easy. The quick-quote-quills are still working.
newbroom: So this is a quick-quote-quill edition.
Strikers: Obviously.
newbroom: Amazing. So you just sit around doing nothing and the quills do all the work.
Strikers: Exactly.
As usual, we would like to thank our guest for sharing his point of view, however, this time we would also like to add a very special thanks to our quick-quote-quills even though it isn’t necessary – as is too much work. Isn’t it a wonderful world we’re living in? Ah, yes, it is! (All)

Travelling Tale: Porcelain, Nymphs and Jewels

Even magical people are sometimes faced with bad weather. Luckily, our host town provides ample opportunity to find amusement indoors. The first exhibition was announced as showing fine pottery. That sounded fun to us, so we went in – and saw countless porcelain vases and plates. However, we also learned something: Ladies-in-waiting at the Saxon court were so keen to listen to the church sermons they did not dare to go to the loo. Instead, they had their maids run around with chamberpots. Yuk!
After that we needed some air. Since the sun had come out again, we visited the Nymph Fountain, which is really beautiful. But as we adore culture, we were soon

  drawn to the next museum: the historical Green Vault. There, the majority of the treasures the Saxon electors collected are presented in much the same fashion as they were presented in the 18th century. That means all visitors have to pass a safety gateway and the number of tickets available is restricted. The amount of splendour is superb. So many jewels, silver statues, enamel trinkets, ivory goblets and gold pitchers! It is really amazing – and all of these riches were bought, not nicked as was usual in former times.
Of course, the flipside of the coin is the fact that taxes paid for all the treasures, One may argue that it was money wasted, but seen as a way to impress,
Green Vault House, or: residence Palace.               photo: KS
 
awe and intimidate fellow princes so that they would think twice before attacking, it is alright to spend that money.
After this overwhelming experience we decided to do something mundane: go shopping and find a decent place to eat. There is something as too much of a good thing! (ALL)

Of Cars and Woods

(Muggle World) For once, Brian Cullen and Mike Flatley graciously stepped aside to let one of their slaves write a comment on a strange phenomenon in the Muggle World: Men’s TV.
TV, for Muggles, is undoubtedly pastime no. 1. There are programmes about nearly everything, and there are also programmes designed especially for one target group. Perhaps the strangest of these is men’s TV.
It’s not the fact that there is something like a programme designed for men. After all, half of humankind is male, so their needs should be taken into account. However, thinking about male interests, one would guess at programmes featuring lots of naked women.

 Yet this is not the case. The programme actually consists of shows hosted by over-the-top enthusiastic so-called experts for cars and explosions and special effects. There is even a programme about woodcutters in some American woods.
In fact, it’s downright weird. Men simply adore watching other men work, things explode and film tricks revealed to be sham. Let’s face it, men aren’t interested in stories or even sense. All they need is the roaring of an old racing car to be happy.
So the solution is quite obvious: Men and women must have separate TV sets so as to avoid arguments. For I just can’t see any woman enduring watching the nonsense in men’s TV programmes for longer than five minutes.
(Slave PhD)

 

newbroom's Next Best Bad Boy Board

Although saving Hogwarts from the infamous Axes of Evil was much more important than simple exams, we have to say that Mr Cullen and Mr Flatley both were rather successful in their OWLs. What we forgot to mention was that they also went to careers advice, as all Hogwarts 5th Years do.
Professor McGonagall certainly did her best to find fitting careers for her two Gryffindor heroes-in-training. We must admit, however, that in this case the good professor was wrong. For we had a look at the SECRET DOCUMENTS of the EARLY LIVES of our very important editors and monarchs over broompire! Now we will exclusively reveal the glittering careers Brian and Mike MIGHT have had of they had not chosen to go their own way to the top of the wizarding world! Here we go:
When Brian Cullen was summoned to his interview, he had no clear idea of his future. Luckily, McGonagall had: “Mr Cullen, you will certainly want to work outside.” “Er… perhaps…” “I heard you are quite okay at Muggle Studies, and your knowledge in Herbology is also, well, adequate. So I suggest you seriously consider becoming a consultant for Muggle

gardeners with regard to magical plants.” Since Brian secretly dreamed of being a professional Quidditch player, gardening was not exactly what he wanted. So he decided to act against both his and McGonagall’s wishes and start at the Daily Prophet.
Mike Flatley faced a pretty similar problem. Professor McGonagall suggested a career in magical maintenance because of the practical knowledge his carpenter father had taught him. Of course Mike had never considered anything like that – quite the contrary! Working at the Ministry was okay, but better as an Unspeakable than as a caretaker. Since careers advice did not work for him, Mike did as Brian had and followed into the halls of the Daily Prophet.
Before life could really begin, though, the last two school years had to be covered. The two spectacular events in those years were a play staged by our culturally adept editors and the wonderful end-of-year-show hosted by Mike and Brian.

We shall keep quiet about the fact that Brian nearly drowned and had to be rescued by Mike and will continue with life after school in the next edition of newbroom.

Crossword Puzzle  
1  2 III      
   
    3 
     
IX     II
  4    5 
6       I     -  V        
         VIII
 VI      XI
         
     IV    
 X    
7     VII          
  




Across 

2 someone who is not participating in a walkout but should (two words)

6 adjective that says that Down 1 or 3 could happen  (two words)

7 someone who is not participating in a walkout but should (spelled backwards) (two 
words)



Down

1 another expression for 'strike' 

2 someone who is not participating in a walkout but should

3 another expression for 'strike'  (three words)

4 someone who checks that none of the Down 2 or Across 2 disturb Down 1 or 3

5 another expression for 'strike'  (spelled backwards)

6 another expression for 'walkout' 





The looked for phrase:


____ ____'____  ____ ____ ____ ____ ____  ____ ____ ____ ____ ____  D____Y,

I    II    III    IV   V    VI   I    VII   VIII IX   IX   VII  III     IV

____ ____V____ ____ ____ ____!

III  X      X    VI   XI   III








Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. 
Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books 
and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial 
and/or commercial gain is intended.