newbroom Breaking News

                                                                             Terrific Truth Uniquely Uncovered

(Somewhere odd, no doubt) broom proudly presents a terrific truth about one of vicious Voldemort’s fiercest followers: Roland Banks.
Bad Banks brightly starred in broom’s Best Bad Boy Board, where tons of truths leaked out. Yet one intriguing information was warily withheld so far. However, nothing is ever seriously safe when we work on unearthing it. Therefore we proudly present the funny fact that rock-head Roland is actually a hairy Hobbit.

 Reading the lovely lists of Hobbit names in the Lord of the Rings, we stumbled over the nitwit’s name in the fine family tree of the terrifying Tooks of Great Smials. In fact, Paladin Took II merrily married one Eglantine Banks, who was the mother of proud Peregrin “Pippin” Took. The Banks-family must at one later time have been thrown out of the Shire and mixed with men. Now we only need an opportunity to check if family traits like hairy feet are still present…
(ALL)

May-Bee

Marvellous May might make many men sincerely sad since several thousands of pretty primitive pollen are pesteringly polluting all air around us and allowing awful allergic attacks. But the prosperous pollen are not only persistently plaguing poor people, busy bees are brilliantly bringing them back to their beautiful beehive. Perfect pollen are seriously stored in circular combs. Of course, the picked up pollen are creatively conserved by chewing them carefully, certainly swallowing and after dutiful digestion excellently excreting them again.

  This popular procedure transformingly turns the proper pollen into handsome honey. Hence, it is homemade but not handmade honey which is wonderfully wrapped in warm wax. When the bright beekeeper naturally needs some of the sweet substance, he will surely set smoke on the boring bees and the homey hive to have high bees. Stoned soldier bees should not secretly seek to stunningly sting you. He terrifyingly takes the cool combs and carefully collects their costly content. All only because of primitive pollen!

 newbroom-e-gram
April 1 Our unavailable broom is not a prank for this day of pranksters. Honestly!
April 7 We keep a weekly update, but the Ministry's still blocking us.		 April 14 We can't get ourselves to write even a little BBN - it's too depressing.
April 28 So we did write soemthing in the end, well done us. Yet, who is going to read it - and when?

Ten Things to Annoy People

(The World) Actually, it’s quite easy to annoy people even without getting any proper instruction for doing so. Therefore this article will not aim at being a guide if how to get rid of idiots. Quite the contrary. This is a report about things which REALLY MADE ME MAD. Where better to encounter specimen of real idiots than being forced to attend a seminar for freelance writers – and those who want to become writers!
So, there I was, bored to hear things I already knew! Okay, so some people present had not the least idea about how things work… Hang on, that’s actually the first thing driving me nuts! The sheer ignorance! The dreamy ideas – and this readiness to criticize while preening because they would never be so stupid. Yeah, just you wait. Reality might not catch up with them while doing a work experience, however, they’ll have their comeuppance eventually. Pity it can’t happen ten minutes into this seminar…
Being a political person myself, I was also rather shocked about the rather immature opinions voiced in class. Problem is, that the elections are drawing closer. And closer. But, hey, such a seminar is not a platform for election campaigns, especially not if facts are turned into fiction.

 Then there’s this poor girl who attended a private writers’ college. She suffers from the illusion that even those paupers like me would have stood a chance at her college – well, we wouldn’t have been able to pay the entrance fees… However, being rich and full of dreams of a better world is not too bad. Being a totally spoiled brat is. Can you believe it that this brat actually phoned her daddy to pick her up because she didn’t want to walk down any hill and was not up to waiting for any public conveyance. Daddy, despite the fact that he had to drive an hour, was only too happy to oblige…
So these are less than ten things. There are only four – but I can even up numbers easily! It makes me mad when people say careless things and hurt others considerably. People caring more for looks than for personality, the way you always seem to lose things which you need right that moment, plants dying with no apparent reason, annoying relatives who always turn up at exactly the wrong moment, having nothing to do but too much time to kill – these are also maddening factors. Ten things.
I guess you also have your private issues – write them down, or talk to a friend, and more often than not you will be able to laugh about it.
(BC)

Travelling Tales: A Lesson A Day Keeps Death Eaters Away

Old things can give you clues about people
A holiday has to have some kind of cultural experience as well as pure recreation. That meant a visit to a museum. Well, we did that – and we connected it with shopping and drinking tea. The two latter things were nice and uneventful and certainly fell into the category of recreation. The museum was a different matter altogether. It was, by request of one of our fellow travellers, a historical museum featuring the cultural history of the region. You see, there was everything from Stone Age axes to modern time Muggle radios (wireless sets). The castle, now a legal court. photo: KS09

 We took our time to look at everything. There was a sword taken from a Stone Age grave which quite fascinated us. Muggles can be so crude in the choice of their weapons!
There was also a herbarium with all the plants of a moor. Then we looked at old clothes, writings, pictures, toys, posters, passports, pots, furniture and china. There were clothes taken from the graves of members of the ruling ducal family – eerie but oh so beautiful. There were models of what the old castle had looked like. And there was even more china which had once belonged to the family of de Pottere. And that, strangely enough, rang a bell. De Pottere? Had we found a trace of the family of the Chosen One? It certainly intrigued us. What if relics of past times helped to defeat our enemies of today? Sometimes the past does hold the key to the solution of today’s troubles. Sometimes objects from the past are more than mere relics. So who knows? A necklace, or a pocket watch, or a diary can hold more than just an interest for social historians. Such objects can hold vital clues about people.
Think about it!
(ALL)

 

newbroom's Next Best Bad Boy Board

In the latest edition of newbroom you were informed about a tragic change in Greg Nott's life: During the summer holidays he lost his mother. This made him turn away from the living world towards the world of books.

This might just as well have led him to oblivion. After some time he was hardly noticed by his fellow students. Not even his teachers were paying much attention to him. Almost everyone was simply happy that he seemed to have turned away from evil.
His secret studies remained unnoticed as Greg was a professional at keeping secret things from this world. The first thing he had practiced secretly had been to make things invisible to other people's eyes.
This worked well and wasn't even noticed by the most suspicious teachers. Some of his former classmates even claim that this was one basis of his success in exams and tests. However, the teachers deny this possibility as they are sure to have used enough precaution during examinations.
We here at broom do suggest that you simply try yourself:

Go to the library – of course only after you've finished reading your favourite monthly magazine – try to find a good book of spells. Find the right spell and fins out whether the teachers are still as well prepared as they used to be.
And please do drop us an owl when you've found out but don't put the spell on your note! Feel free to include any other useful spell you cam across during your research.
Let's return to Greg. Of course, it is quite useful to let things disappear, but imagine how useful it is to disappear yourself: No more paying for the bills. No more talks with annoying people. No more raids as you and your garden-like office simply disappear. You could also simply let the Ministry disappear – or the Minister for a start.
Unfortunately, things and people do tend to come back in sight after a while. Then again, you can always hope for another election and get rid of the whole lot, finally and for ever.
Make sure not to miss the next edition of broom an newbroom's Next Best Boy Board – whenever that may be and find out how Greg proceeded and what the reaction to this was.

Sudoku

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What month is it, Severus?

Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.