Dumbledore: Daredevil or Despot?

Resistance Rocks!

Interview with a Book

(Hogsmeade) broom, as always, is up to scratch with the guests for interviews. As, with the growing crisis, our dear Moon Child (lately much abused by the Prophet, which we really abhor) is getting more important than ever, we thought to interview her. However, she send us a substitute. Mike Flatley thought himself up to interviewing a notoriously quarrelsome duo of authors, Alabaster Tuttle and Wannabe brown. MF: Alright, I’ve opened the book, A Useful Guide to Moon Children. It contains only two pages, and hello! There are my interview partners, both very handsome gentlemen. Welcome to broom, Mr Tuttle, Mr brown. WB: Has she tried to lose us again? AT: It does seem so, certainly. Who are you, young fellow? MF: My name is Mike Flatley, and I’m one of the editors of the renowned magazine broom. WB: And how do we come here, Mr Flatley? MF: You were brought here, I dare say. Anyway, we want to ask a few questions about Moon Children. AT: Obstinate, wilful creatures! MF: I don’t know, but…

WB: Believe us, young fellow, we are men with a lot of experience. AT: Well, some of us are more of an expert than others, I dare say. WB: What does that mean, Tuttle? Are you implying I am no expert? AT: Your very name does imply that, Mr Wannabe brown! MF: Peace, dear gentlemen! What about Moon Children? In what way can our Moon Child be helpful in the fight against Voldemort? AT: That name! You dare mention it! WB: Oh, fy, Mr Tuttle, you are such an old hypocrite. MF: Moon Children?! AT: Yes, yes, do not be so impatient. Shields. MF: I beg your pardon? WB: I told you that you are too short and simple sometimes, Tuttle. Young man, Tuttle wanted to say that Moon Children can extend a kind of shield, much like a corporeal Patronus and yet not like it at all, to avert spells of any kind, of course excepting the forbidden curses… AT: Yes, shields, as I said, much more precisely and much more to the point. MF: Does she have to be on the spot? WB & AT: Of course! MF: Alright. So it is dangerous for her? AT: Every little bit of magic is dangerous

for her as she loses strength which cannot be regained. She needs her Beholder to keep herself strong enough for any magic. MF:Yes, Beholder. We are, of course, not to reveal who that is. But still, we would like to give our readers some understanding about how the being with the Beholder helps a Moon Child. WB: It is a kind of symbiosis formed by the initiating spell. AT: That was short but imprecise. A Beholder is the one who says the spell needed to set the energy free. Unfortunately the free energy will take quite a lot of strength with it. That strength can be partly refilled by the Beholder’s sheer presence, or the one or other helping spell. MF: So our Moon Child is only safe with her Beholder? AT & WB: Yes. MF:Well, gentlemen, I thank you for your enlightening information. Thank you very much, Mr Tuttle, Mr brown. WB: You do not want to stop here, laddie? AT: You cannot just shut the book, you can’t… Mike Flatley shuts the book and is quite relieved to get rid of it. Anyway, we thank the Moon Child, Miss W., for her gracious loan. (MF)

Your Horrorscope for 2005

Professor Trelawney's unwated retirement gave her loads of time to lend her invaluable talents to us. So she kindly took over predicting the future for all of us - have a happy new year! Aquarius: If there is a thunderstorm – DUCK! Lightning is very likely to hit you fatally. Pisces: Small wonder nobody likes to talk to you these days. Your vainglorious ways are simply unbearable! Try to stay on the carpet. Aries: You are pretty adventurous these days. Who knows what may come out of this combined with your high flirt-factor? Taurus: If you meet a house-elf give him/ her a smile – it might be the beginning of a life of luxury. Otherwise be careful not to spend too much money on tricks. Gemini: Clouds are veiling the sun for you – but don’t you worry, you’ll be in the bright sunshine soon enough. Your success will get you new friends – not all of them true, so beware! Cancer: Love is in the air for you – but keep your eyes open. Maybe it hides in the unlikeliest corner. Watch out for spotted Kneazles crossing your way.

Leo: Don’t run risks these days or you might find yourself in a close spot where no one can rescue you. Keep your friends constantly at your side. Virgo: The stars have it in for you. You meet fascinating persons, true, but do not trust them as you used to. Blonde-haired persons are likely to work against you. Libra: Try to stay calm even if your surroundings insist on being the most stupid persons you’ve ever met. They think you a bore, too, so, for Merlin’s sake, keep your mouth shut on that subject. Scorpio: You shouldn’t go a-betting these days – nor gambling or other such things. You’ll lose more money than you can afford. Don’t trust the red-haired too much in monetary matters. Sagittarius: However hard to cope: you are not likely to fall in love soon. Either you bury yourself in self-pity or you stand up straight and try to fight against this prediction. Good luck! Capricorn: You are really born under a lucky star! Nothing will go wrong in the next weeks, and everything you touch will turn out fine. Wouldn’t we all wish to be born as a Capricorn?

The Lost Sandals

Here it is, the (never) award-winning fourth chapter of Parry Hotter's adventures! Discipulus Dormiens Nunquam Titilandus IV Down in the Dungeons the climate was rougher than on the upper floors but this was the place where Parry had to go first. Potion stood at the top of his timetable – well underneath Monday and his name of course (which by the way was misspelled: Hooter). He was not sure which door to open. There was door no. 1 which looked rather promising with its wooden carvings and the welcoming white paint. Door no. 2 seemed to be equally inviting – not carved but painted with a scene from a students’ exam. To Parry door no. 3 looked most suspicious. Hidden under a curtain there could not be much seen really. After two trials he decided for the right

door which was the right door. He stumbled into the classroom and sat down in between Right and Gemioni. Yes, the classrooms had no chairs either. Each student and teacher was required to bring his or her own chair. So it turned out that it would have been quite useful to have gotten the chair on the first evening after all. As things had turned out the first years had to watch Raghid carry around two chairs and think of ways to trick him out of one of them. Parry and his classmates sat on the ground. Professor Cape entered. “Hotter!” He said suddenly. And ‘hotter’ thought Parry, ‘indeed, it could have been hotter in here’. “What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar? What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane? And…” He glanced down at Parry’s feet. “…where are your sandals?” Parry hid his bare feet which had covered with dirt by now. No need to mention Parry could answer

everything but the last question. “Thought you wouldn’t need a pair of sandals before coming to Wogharts, did you? But let me assure you fame isn’t everything. On the cold days you will long for a warm pair of sandals when the snow is falling down and you have to creep your way to the greenhouses to take care of ice flowers.” He looked up. “Why aren’t you all copying this down? Dictation: I need a pair of sandals which will keep me and my feet warm during winter and in the changing weathers of autumn and spring and of course down here in the Dungeons.” Cape might sound worse than he really is. He always tends to be a kind of an evil show-off in the first lesson, but just remember he wants to prepare your for life. The things you will learn down in his Dungeons – like always possessing a pair of sandals – will get you far in the life which is lying ahead of you. In the next edition you will learn how Parry tries to get hold of a chair after all and why he still could use a pair of sandals.

Cullen Consulted

We here at broom were very delighted to get inumerous cards and letters from people who desperately need a piece of advice. Why did you write to us? Mr. Cullen will do his best to at least not increase your problems. So why don’t we hand over to your problems and Mr. Cullen’s answers. There’s a Dragon in My Backyard! Dear Mr. Cullen not too long ago I noticed footprints in my garden. But those were not usual cat or squirrel prints, they were much bigger. Of course I got suspicious, however, not until I noticed burned plants I suspected a dragon. Unfortunately, Gilderoy Lockhart’s Guide to Household Pests does not cover dragons. What can I do? – Virginia, Soho. Dear Virginia, Soho is a beautiful place. I never knew there were dragons there. I’m glad you informed me about that.

And not only me but our whole readership. Folks, sell your property in Soho and watch out for a dragon. Tourists, pack your asbestos underwear, time’s gonna be hot in Soho. My Dog has Eaten My Wand! I’m desperate. At first I thought I had only misplaced my wand but as it turns out now my dog seems to have eaten it. Every time it barks sparks come out of its mouth and something will happen. And my dog is barking a lot, please help me! – Phil, Essex. Dear Phil, if I were you I would not write ‘my dog seems to have eaten my wand’ to me it seems quite obvious that it did! Obviously you cannot wag the dog to do magic, however, there are loads of people who can live happily without magic, they’re called muggles. Funny creatures, muggles.

Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.