broom Breaking News

China cools clouds and causes calamity

(China) Several scientists saw fit to solve a perilous problem of dreadful droughts in cheerless China. Unfortunately, the extraordinary experiment fully failed.
The insane idea of inserting crystalline chemicals into cute clouds to cause rare rain to finally fall down on crispy-looking Chinese earth backfired badly. The senseless scientists shot several rockets right into the clouds without concentratedly checking the 		total of temperature.
Consequently, the chemicals caused calamity. Thanks to lovely low degrees, the devised downpour dropped in the fair form of snow. The country consequently suffocated under sacks of snow. This teaches us a lesson: Don't tamper with the weather unless you know the temperature.
(BC)

Love's Labours Lost

Lately, little effort was emotionally evoked by lonesome love. Sweet smiles sadly sickered into the solid sand. Given glimpses were ghastly kicked into the disgusting gutter by the not-so-gentle getter. In short, shy signs of offered affection were acurately averted by the addressee. Still, this is the terrific time of lovely love: Fair February fantastically forms fine couples complete with cute children ready to be served in December. Secretly, the sensational sun sends bright beams down to earth. Magic moments are made immemorable by magnificent

moonlight. Mediocre men mildly meet melting maids and mate. And while broken hearts are for sure supposed to mend, martial mergers metaphorically make two hearts become one. However, cheap of happiness is not helpfully poured over poor persons. Tiny tears are trekking down someone's chapfallen cheek right at this moment. Now someone's heart is badly broken believed to mend no more. Think of them and smile because all bad luck is born by them and none is available to afflict it avidly on any others. A very dandy Valentine's Day!

Baby It's Cold Outside

(The World At Large) A snowwave has literally buried most of Europe. St. Peter or his colleague Mrs Holle keep us down here busy shovelling snow. Weather experts that it will continue snowing and that we are to expect even more snow next winter season.
You might already have noticed – if you're living in the northern hemisphere – that it is mostly white outside. This colour is due to the enormous amounts of frozen water crystals which keep dropping from the sky. The question now basically is what do we do? There are -naturally – several possibilities. One very obvious thing would be to shovel snow. This thought may at first not brighten up your mood, but do you remember who wanted to do more sports this year. Yes, exactly, it was you. Take the snow as broad hint and start your work out program. If you

lack motivation just think of all the muscles you will get. These you will be able to present next summer by the pool.
Maybe your body isn't your problem but your brain. Are you bad at maths, for example. Well, go out and count the snow crystals. You could also pee geometrical figures into the snow or whole graphs if you drank enough.
Then again what could be more obvious or natural for that matter in the month of love than to spend the time with your loved one. Get a pot of hot chocolate, some biscuits and the person who has your heart. You couldn't be in want of anything then. Enjoy the cold season of love and if you happen to be alone and female just drop an owl to broom's own Brian Cullen. He's ready, willing and able to take care of all your needs!

broom-e-gram
January 1 Would you know it, it's another new year. As usual it simply crept in without allowing us time to breathe.
January 6 We decided to celebrate the day of the three magi with a raucuous party. It was great fun, although cleaning up isn't great fun - unless you're able to do magic. Aren't we lucky chaps to be wizards!
January 9 Again another year passes without being invited to Professor Snape's birthday party. Perhaps he prefers a private party and we know who's the only guest!
January 15 There hasn't been a day without snow since Christmas. It's cold. It's uncomfortable. and worst of all, it always snows on Sunday evening so that the streets are blocked on Mondays. Not that we mind, being wizards, but the Muggle news are full of complaints. 		January 19 Geronimo went on strike because we refused to warm his ink until it had room temperature. Now he claims the cold ink was blocking his pipes. Yeah, right, and why can he sneeze ink all over the place?
January 21 Next time we buy a printer it won't be a magical one, we can tell you. Now Geronimo's got a cold. Honestly!
January 26 Geronimo's still out cold with his cold and the day of release for February broom is edging nearer. And that when for once we managed to finish broom right early! Why does stuff like that have to happen to us???
January 31 After being carefully treated with warm minty ink and camomile infusion to cleanse his pipes, Geronimo agreed to print again, if we promised him he could go on sick leave for the first week in February. We did agree, and here's broom!

 

Golden Apples and a Prince

(Hogwarts) Armed with a special permission to enter Hogwarts' school grounds, Brian Cullen set out to do his duty as an investigative journalist and find an interviewee for broom's Valentine's Day/ February edition. Digging deep into his knowledge of Muggle mythology, Brian uncovered an astonishing fact about love, Greek gods and Professor McGonagall.
BC: Professor McGonagall, it is a pleasure to see you again.
Y MMcG: Mr Cullen, I am not sure if I can return the compliment.
BC: Er, yes, well... Shall I start with the interview?
MMcG: Of course, Mr Cullen. I am rather looking forward to hearing your undoubtedly twisted questions.
BC: Professor, are you familiar with Muggle Greek mythology?
MMcG: Not exactly, unless you are referring to the stories about instances of transfiguration.

 BC: The story I'd love to talk to you about isn't about transfiguration. It's about a Troyan prince and three goddesses.
MMcG: I do not have all day, Cullen, so either tell me the story or end the interview at once.
BC: Okay, here goes: There once was a rather stupid quarrel between three goddesses about who was the most beautiful. Each of them claimed to deserve the title, and none was ready to step back. So they decided to get an impartial judge - the Troyan prince Paris. Howeverm they also all bribed him - which in the events following led to the Troyan war.
MMcG: A foolish tale. Now, why did you want to talk to me about that? I cannot see any similarity to either you or me in that!
BC: Right - and wrong. Professor, one of the goddesses was Minerva.
MMcG: So?
BC: So? Don't you see? By giving Paris		  a golden apple and pointing the way to Helen, Minerva prepared the way for true love!
MMcG: The only thing this tale shows is that even a goddess of wisdom may be foolish at times! Or were you trying to connect this with all this Valentine's Day rubbish?
BC: Exactly!
MMcG: Cullen, this is really far-fetched. I don't think the Greek Minerva was a meddler in human love. Nor am I meddling.
BC: Of course not. Well, thank you fo your time and patience.
MMcG: Try and write something sensible, Cullen.
Brian, knowing Minerva McGonagall's advice to be wise, did try to write something very sensible and sophisticated. Time ran out fast, though, so all he could do was to use his interview draft for his contribution. Sorry, Professor! (BC)

Travelling Tales 2009: A Lesson A Day Keeps Death Eaters Away

(On Holiday) The editors of broom are still enjoying their holiday by the seaside. The seaside is full of ports and so Brian and Mike decided to spend a day clearly at the seaside.
Souvenirs, souvenirs – you could buy them everywhere. In fact, we did buy them everywhere. Tons of useless stuff which will be packed into our office or stored away somewhere out of sight.
Actually, it's strange what Muggles consider to be a souvenir. All sorts of clothes are able to be turned into souvenirs. It's the same with pens, furry toys or cuttlers, woodwork, art and sweets – to name but a few.
When you run around a port a lot, naturally, you will get extremely hungry. And when we here at broom are hungry, then we here at broom need something to eat. We decided to go for an icecream – for a start.

 Well, icecream is something the Muggles are capable of doing. And pizza, yes pizza is quite good, too. Oh, right, chocolate is greta as well. Oh and mustard, we simply love msutard. You can even eat cookies and yoghurt. Chewing gum is also wonderful. And jelly babies as we are at it. And cake, yes we do like cake, too.
But, where were we? Right, by the seaside. In the afternoon we went to a ship parade which was comparable to the parade we witnessed in Edinburgh in size. There were some ten ships and well about a thousand people- of course, there had been no ships in Edinburgh.
Then again, in one respect it was superior to the parade in Edinburgh as there were numerous stalls where you could buy some things: Souvenirs, of course, loads of food and tea which simply is a delight to any British heart.		 Afterwards, we strolled along the beach. There were some surfers, well not on the beach, but on the water, ocean as a matter of fact. It looks quite easy – like a piece of cake and since we are so fond of cake we tried ourselves – and failed. Therfore, today's lesson is that surfing is not easy.

And still it looks so easy, but believe us we tried and it's all so hard! Then again, it's fun watching them fall.                     photo: UF

broom's Next Best Bad Boy Board

In the last edition you learned all about the toils and troubles young Greg had to go through because he was so ugly. You also learned all about the toils and troubles the others had to go through once he was handsome. This edition will uncover the hidden secrets connected to a life-changing event in his young existence.
It was a damp, dark and cold day in the midst of winter – just like today. A thick layer of snow had turned all the warm colours of autumn into white and an occassional grey. Greg was sitting in his room drafting new plans how to make the other kids suffer a little more when suddenly someone knocked on his door. Without any invitation or welcome originating from Greg it was opened. A pretty femal adult entered his room. Her long hair was straight and much resembled the snow outside. „I've got to talk to you.“ Her voice said colly. „What is it mum. I'm busy!“ was Greg's only reply. The woman sat down and took her sons hand. However, she didn't hold it for too long in her own hands. She placed it on her belly. That was when she spoke again: „You're going to have a sister or a brother.“ She revealed. Greg's face went white and perfectly matched the colour of the snow outisde. The woman smiled, got up and left the room. Before she did so, she turned once more to her son. She smiled a cold smile. „Your father and I are very happy.“ Then she finally left. This was like an order. Greg had to be happy, too. Therefore he deviced another plan how to bully his fellow-kids.
Apart from this desaster not much happened during Greg's childhood apart from the usual things that happened to you and me back in our childhood. We all probably will never forget the

day when we were turned into a frog by our magical friends just because they wanted to play frog prince. And certainly you will still laugh when you think of the daywhen your mum made you float upside down in mid-air just to find all the hidden Christmas biscuits which you had nicked. And do you recall...huh? What do you mean by 'no'. Oh right, you're non-magic folk. Well, we still do and so does Greg.
After having loathed going to a Muggle school with all those Muggle kids he was so happy to finally be able to travel to Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry. A quick kiss from his mum and a brief pet on his back by his father and on he hopped. The journey took ages – well, not literally of course, otherwise he would still be on the way. Mmh, this might have not been for the worst. However, as it happened they eventually arrived. Just like all the other ickle firsties before he and the others were led into the Great Hall by professor McGonagall. And just like all other students after them they told the silliest stories about what was going to happen.
As you will be well aware nothing of it all came true. Greg Nott, naturall, wasn't the first in line. This gave him a terrible lot of time for many nasty thoughts. So when it was time for Greg to put the hat on his head it was full of the most terrifying ideas.
The sorting hat intended to not let Greg join any of the houses and expel him right away, but after 20 minutes or arhuing – sorry, discussng – he was asked by the headmaster to deciede for one of the houses.
Read on and find out which of the houses Greg had to join and whether this was something that made his parents proud.

Horticultural Horrors

(The World) As regular readers of broom you will be well aware that February is not only the month of love but also the month when you have to face another edition of Leslie’s Horticultural Horrors. Be brave and read on to find out all about the secret of a garden of love.
 

The Secret Of A Garden Of Love – Secretum Hortius Amorius
 

Dear readers,

February has come at last and in its pocket it carried the first signs of spring. Snowdrops, crocuses and daffodils are already stretching their heads through a thin layer of snow. The sweet scent of spring and the poetical blue ribbon is fluttering in the mild February breeze.
At least this is what I imagine things to be like. Currently I’m sitting behind bars watching the world outside go by. There is no garden in the backyard of the prison, but this is exactly what I am about to change!

 I informed all of my prisonmates and the gardening. The director got a list of the things we need – alright, he didn’t allow us to use a spade or a hoe, but a shovel will do just as well.
Now should you be in the same situation as us here in prison, this is what you are supposed to do: First of all you have to decide what to plant in your garden. Grass is the easiest option, but you might also want to have the one or the other flower bed. Bushes will provide shelter for rare species like jailbirds for example. Only kidding.
The board of directors forbade us to plant any trees saying that these would make a break out too easy. Therefore we will have to do without. Whether you want to plant some trees or no hopefully is only within your discretion. Whatever you go for, please keep the consequences in mind. A tree not only means shade but also additional work during all seasons.
Naturally you will want to know what we decided to put up so here it comes: The basis of our garden will be a wide meadow – well as wide as the walls will allow. The walls will be covered by watch that we are going to do some

tendrils of roses. The director is shaking his head so obviously the walls will not be covered by tendrils of roses.
Anyways, we will have flower beds in front of the walls. The flowers which you will find in there are flowers grown from bulbs, like tulips for example. One flower bed will be dedicated to different sorts of herbs like foxglove. Oh, again the director is shaking his head. No foxgloves for us as it seems. Oh and no bulbs either. Poisonous? Well, so is the holly – if you eat enough of it. No holly. Alright.
Well, dear gardeners, there is a lot to be done for the erection of our new meadow without any flowers or bushes – leave alone trees. Stick to your favourite broom while we here in prison prepare everything for the successful sowing of our grass seeds. No grass? Why not? No you cannot smoke this sort of grass… (LPG)

At this point her article broke off. Leslie will probably already be busy teaching the director a bit about botany. Maybe she won’t have finished until the next edition of her loathed series. In the meantime do as she said and stick to your favourite broom!

Crossword Puzzle  
1  2 
3      4   
   V    
      5  6 I 7         VI
 VII        
    8 III        VIII      
    9   IV      
10 IX  II    
 
11           
 
  




Across

3 symbol animal of Down 1

7 you do this after you've been Down 4

8 special melody

9 tool of Down 3 (also spelled backwards)

10 symbol colour of Down 1

11 what you do before you get Down 4 (spelled backwards)



Down

1 feeling that mekes you get Down 4

2 sort of relaionship

3 symbol of Down 1 (spelled backwards)

4 sort of being busy

5 your spouse on the 14th

6 act of courting





The looked for phrase:


____ ____  ____ ____ ____ ____   ____ ____ ____,

I    II    III  IV   V    II     VI   IV   VII

____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____!

VIII II    V    II  IX   VII  VIII






Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. 
Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books 
and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial 
and/or commercial gain is intended.