broom Breaking News

                            Mean May Mildly Messes Morning Mood

Many men and millions of maids mournfully mention the mean mood they mildly make out on many mild May mornings. Usually, young January jealously jinxes your you. However, hopeless hobby horses hilariously have found out that feeble figures are fervently filled with foul fiery feelings. Especially elastic egos excellently expect to endlessly encounter an extreme atmosphere. Woeful women and weeping weaklings work out a visible way to weekly wake weak wonderful emotions equally exchanged between every Tom, Dick or Harry Potter. Special sensations should be coolly calmed by careful caressing which can be cautiously caught by especially educated and examined people. Poor persons who cannot purchase such a peaceful practice are asked to apply their own outer extremities in order to mildly modify their mad moods. So changed they should seldom show significant signs of sad spirits. What makes this modern month so miraculously mean? Some scientists say that spectacular circulations in several spheres  seemingly set the same scene. Atmosphere excitement endows everyone here on earth with airy associations. (ALL)

                            Absent-minded Assistant Accepts Academic Accommodation

An accredited academe actively acquired an alarming aid from an agile agnostic. Airy air was always alike an amount of anarchy. An animated academic aggressively alluded to an angular anemometer and anonymously announced that anon air was another antimatter and also appearing to be as architectured as an appetizing apple. At first, all academes assiduously argued against this arrogant assault of aspiring air. As an ascending assistant asynchronously accepted an Austrian atonement, he authoritatively applauded and articulated an

attached ataboy! The academic atmosphere athletically averted the awarded, awe-inspiring approach and abstrusely abetted the acquitted achievement. This awfully ached the accursed assistant who acknowledgedly accepted this absurd announcement and abysmally adapted the academia to an airy aha. All accepted assumption about our air are abased on an abstruse abuse of absorbed authority! Apt academicians are acquiescing that they accumulated addle-brains – serves them right! (ALL)

broom-e-gram

April 3 Her smell is still there!
April 7 We can hardly work because it still smells of violets!
April 10 Geronimo went on strike because he only now found out that he was refilled with pink ink!
April 14 We do try to work - really!
April 15 We gave up, finally!		 April 20 Brian and Mike have agreed to go on strike, too!
April 24 Our slaves decide to join the strike!
April 26 Strike is cool!
April 28 To hell with strike breakers!
April 29 Geronimo is working again!
April 30 And so are we!

An Extraordinary Family

(Ottery St. Catchpole) After a long time, Arthur Weasley has finally returned to The Burrow, his family home. Mike Flatley visited him there to talk about the war, family and everything else.
 MF: Arthur, thank you for inviting me to your home. How does it feel to be back?
AW: Oh well, it’s great. After such a long time in hiding it feels so good to be back – although we’ve got to tidy up a bit.
MF: It seems as if Death Eaters wreaked havoc here.
AW: During this damned war everyone suffered. We can be counted fortunate, what with our Fred returning from the dead – oh, and did you know? Our Fleur is expecting a baby!

 MF: Congratulations! So you’re going to be a granddad. That’s terrific.AW: We’re pretty excited, too, Molly and me. You see, during the dark days we thought we’d lose everything.
MF: As so many have done. Are you  happy about Lucius Malfoy’s downfall?
AW: I can’t say that I am sad about it. He richly deserves everything. Other people should join him, but Minister Shacklebolt will undoubtedly take care of that.
MF: Of course he will. What do you think, are there better times ahead?
AW: Oh, most definitely. It can only get better, and it’s already started.
MF: What about your children’s plans, then?
AW: Well, Bill and Fleur will have a lot to do with their baby. Charlie and

 Anne will return to Romania. I’m sure Fred and George will have loads of success with their joke shop – and, who knows, there might be some romance taming them. Then again, maybe nothing will tame them. And Ron – he needs to find his way, but it seems he’s got help in young Hermione. Ginny, we hope, will return to Hogwarts to finish her education.
MF: all of this sounds fabulous. You must be proud of your family.
AW: I am. Very proud!
MF: Well, Arthur, thank you again. Let us hope that everything will work out nicely.
AW: Thank you, Mike.
broom of course wishes to congratulate Bill and Fleur Weasley! Good luck to little Victoire!

If…

(The World) There are some crimes too hideous to bear thinking about them. There are crimes nobody but the perpetrator can explain. And there are crimes which make you think, if something like this happened to me, what would I do? Running amok is one of these crimes.

In March 2009, two men ran amok in different parts of the world. One killed his family first, then proceeded to shoot at innocent customers in a shopping mall. He killed himself in the end, so nobody knows what caused the American killer to snap and massacre people unknown to him.
The very same day, a boy, only seventeen years old, set out to visit them middle school he had attended until he passed his exams the year before. He took a weapon, and countless ammunition. First, he shot teachers and pupils, then fled. A passing person and innocent customers in a shopping mall were his last victims before he shot himself.
Is it a coincidence? Perhaps, and perhaps not. Now, what would you do if you found yourself at the mercy of an amok killer? What CAN you even do, other than duck and pray? However, the question to ask is: How can you recognize the dangerous rage which surfaces in cold-blooded murder? How can you help – stop the would-be-assassin? What makes young people wish to get famous by killing?It is fairly easy to ask these

questions, but the answers are among the most difficult answers imaginable. Yet there is one thing we all can do – if we want to, that it. We must make sure that nobody is trodden down into the mud so deeply there is only rage left. Everybody, even the ugliest and most stupid person you can think of, has some talent!
If you are a pupil, don’t bully people. Don’t laugh thoughtlessly about mistakes or looks or behavior. If you work somewhere, respect your colleagues, even if they get on your nerves. You should try to find good things to counterbalance your negative impressions. The same goes for teachers. They especially need to make sure that pupils see their efforts are noticed. Of course marks are important, but certainly not all important. Pupils writing bad tests can show talent in creative exercises. Teachers are bound to give marks – so make sure you offer different kinds of work to your classes to ensure everyone’s got a chance.
Basically, it’s about not letting anyone down. It’s so easy and at the same time so difficult. If we tried real hard, we might be able to stop the next murders. Shooting people you don’t even know isn’t like murder out of passion. It’s a way to get noticed when all the ways were shut and you’ve run against more walls than you can count. Don’t let’s let that happen – there are so many ways to boost egos. Let us help them. Smile. Be polite. Listen.

broom's Best Bad Boy Board

In the last edition you learned how Argus Filch tried different Muggle jobs unsuccessfully, and still finally managed to find something that fitted his talent. Today you will find out how this changed his life completely and led to unthought of consequences.
The house of flats was in desperate need of a caretaker - very desperate. And Argus was in desperate need of a job - very desperate, too. It’s only natural that the two would get together somehow. And surprise, surprise it worked out and it even worked out after a minute and it still worked out after a week and after a month he still had the job.
Of course, he was out and about a lot and therefore it simply had to happen that he met a girl one day. To tell the truth he didn’t only meet one girl but several ones. However, only one girl talked to him. And she did talk quite a lot. Filch didn’t care much about that. In fact, he was quite glad that she talked so much as a consequence he didn’t have to say a word. Silently

and quietly they fell in love. And silently and quietly they got engaged. Filch didn’t dare to tell his parents as the girl he had chosen to bestow his affection on was a pure-blood Muggle.
The girl herself had a big family and wasn’t sad to have found an orphan of her own. The girl, by the way, was called Matilda. As Matilda had such a big family none of them could afford to be rich.
Matilda worked as a waitress in one of the nearby restaurants serving delicious British food. And this was also how the two got to know each other. Of course, they met after work, too. They went dancing, enjoyed movies at the cinema and well you probably can imagine the rest.
Be bored again in the next month’s edition of this tiresome series – but, well, you wanted it this way – and find out more about the breathtaking life of Argus Filch. And we do reveal too much if we tell you whether the two stood a chance or no.

Sudoku

7

9

5

 

 

 

 

 

 

1

3

2

 

 

 

 

7

 

4

6

8

 

7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

 

 

 

 

 

7

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5

9

7

 

 

7

 

 

 

8

4

1

 

 

 

 

 

7

3

2

6

This isn't a tough one, Severus!




Cullen Consulted



  

    
    
It has been a long time since one of our readers last 
    dared to contact Brian Cullen in search of advice. And his upcoming answer 
    will save us any need of explaining why. Usually, the letters that he gets - 
    yes, he does get letters - show a clear underestimation of Cullen’s 
    intelligence making him appear more stupid than he really is, though this 
    has - admittedly - proven to be quite hard.

    Please feel sympathy for our dear reader who is so desperate that she didn’t 
    hesitate to contact Brian and approach him for help. Hers must be a big 
    problem which after a long period of suffering needs a final solving.

    
No Frogs in Sight!

    Dear Mr. Cullen,

    Only recently I read my horoscope. It was all about amphibians! I was told 
    that I would only see frogs and by doing so I would miss the princes among 
    them. I’ve tried hard ever since to make out a frog somewhere only I just 
    don’t see any as for the princes there are none either. What can I do?

    July, Swampsea

    Dear July,

    Excerpt from encyclopaedia: The green frog which is probably the most 
    popular frog in Europe doesn’t exist. Yes, dear July, I’m afraid so. 
    However, this only proves that you couldn’t find what wasn’t there! And 
    still there is some hope left for you. Therefore let’s read on together, 
    shan’t we: There are in fact three kinds of green frogs. There is one 
    very small green frog living in south-west Europe, one especially big one 
    inhabiting central Europe and one middle-sized green frog housing well, 
    somewhere between the two as it is a mixed breed of the other two. Now, 
    wasn’t this revealing? Three green frogs can be located in Europe. Well, 
    regarding the fact how big Europe is, it is quite hard to find any of them. 
    However, there are some places where the chances are higher: During the 
    time of spawning all green frogs choose the location of a lake. And in 
    winter they hide in mud. Now that you know where to look for frogs, it 
    shouldn’t be too hard to find one. Only I’m afraid that the depths of water 
    or the dampness of mud are not the places to find a prince – try a castle 
    instead, you stupid gal! (BC)





Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.