broom Breaking News
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(Bamburgh) Bats bullied Bishop Bernard Brandon of Bamburgh by biting him
boisterously. The batty bats awfully attacked the blessed bishop who was on the way to the cozy church, because Bishop Brandon brazenly boasted of having got rid of the brutal biting beasts. To sinisterly |
show the soft simpleton how weirdly wrong he was, the belligerent bats bit him black and blue. Blessed Bishop Brandon blocked his doors and windows, but the beasts bit through the worm-infested wood. So the bishop finally fled Bamburgh and the bats won. (BC) |
Fearless February Fights Fierce Flames
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Sensational spring is soon to successfully succeed wonderful winter. However, heavy frequent snowfalls finally help to skip fascinating spring. Popular people are patiently pressing their pure palms to the white windows to willingly witness the welcome arrival of another weather. In the meantime many months have made magnificent men and marvellous maids mildly mad! The cold climate with dark days and nasty nights clearly cared not for any anyone. Apparently, awful artists frequently find frozen flakes funny. |
Pretty people elegantly applaud the perfect performance of sunny spring. Faithful forecasters finally find the visit of warmer weather on their wise visors. However, happy homies heavily hope that the spring season is entirely ended even as soon as silent spring has surely started. Fine February fervently fights fierce flames of the sunny sun. So safe snow seemingly stays this sad season’s shameful cover of cute crimson and clever clover. Carefully come and endlessly enjoy the ever-frozen flakes in famous February. |
Additional Motto Chosen for broom 2009
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(The
World) It wasn’t long ago that broom called out to all armed people to
lay down their weapons and live happily ever after, however, as present
circumstances force us, we will take a step further to finally end war. |
and we will not give up this hope until the day we
die! You’re able to read a lot of nonsense in this monthly magazine, but please do keep in mind that sometimes these absurd articles only serve to hide our true aim and intention: To make this world a better place. Obviously, we here at broom cannot manage this big task on our own. We do need your help, the help of your friend and the help of your foe, too. This world could be such a nice place if we didn’t keep killing each other for nothing. You might well argue that people are not fighting for nothing and yet we believe that without life everything is nothing. We ask you to show your own greatness and to go down into the annals of history as one of the world’s greatest heroes. Change your weapons for a banner or a badge and as fervently as you fought for your cause, shout the new motto into this world for you make the difference: Peace protests! |
broom-e-gram
| January 1 A new year which will bring about everything in
time. Perhaps we can somehow evade all Death Eaters this year. Keep your
fingers crossed! January 6 This is the day of the Three Kings, which Muggles call the Magi (from magician). They brought potions ingredients and gold. Fascinating! January 9 This is Severus Snape's birthday. Needless to say, he didn't invite us to his party. But then, who'd want to celebrate with a bunch of Death Eaters? January 15 Whoa, half of the first month of the new year is already over. How could that happen??? Anyway, we must do some research for our new article on schools. Teachers and pupils have this strang elove-hate relationship which really needs |
to be explained by the best: by us. January 19 There are things a new year won't change, and one is that in freezing temperatures Geronimo tends to get a choke-cold. That means, ink freezes in his system. January 21 It's still cold. We packed Geronimo into our warmest sweaters. Hatishooo! Now we've got a cold, too. January 26 We've got a temperature, but at least Geronimo is fine. Can please someone come over to make tea, chicken soup and toast? And we need some lemons, too. Oh, and a cuddly blanket, please. January 31 Last day of the month, and although we are ill - very ill!!! - we managed to finish broom. We are HEROES! Yes. Only nobody realizes it. |
Eleven Things to Do with Your Favourite Teacher
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(School) As we here at broom well know there are teachers and there are
teachers. Some of your teachers won’t create a long-lasting impression,
others will inspire you and others will steal your heart. But, what can you
do to show your feeling when Cupid has hit your heart? Read on and learn:
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hurt. So, pick up a pen and write some serious love poems about
him or her. Maybe you’ll want to use a magic quill so that the writing only
appears at your will. broom lost some of its articles this way. Of course, you can also name your pet or teddy bear after your teacher. Then again, you shouldn’t forget that a rat named Severus or a toad named Minerva will not please the respective teacher. Quite obviously, many people will find out about your feelings that way. Naturally, there’s another way of proving your affection for your teacher. Forget your own name and sign with his or hers. This might lead to some confusions if your parents get a letter signed Albus Dumbledore or your friends one signed Sibyl Trelawney. At last, we’re on the border between passivity and activity. Dress like him or her. Certainly, this might be quite hard if you adore Firenze. The one or the other spell might help there. Please, keep in mind that it is illegal to become an unregistered animagus. Something you have to do for all teachers is to hand in homework. If you do that for your teacher, scent your rolls of parchment with perfume and decorate your text with hearts. You can turn every dot into a heart, for example. Why only stick to homework? There are |
loads of parents you can give to your teacher: There is a whole
army of furry toys. You should make sure to select the right one for each
teacher. A cat for professor McGonagall, a horse for Firenze, a squirrel for
Quirrel and a bat for Snape. However, sunflowers will be just as well –
according to Anne. If you prefer to be more direct, then you can always go to your teacher with some petty problems – in the middle of the night to see him or her in or without pyjamas. If you are so taken aback when you first see him or her, you can always pretend that you forgot what you wanted. (And return later for a second glance!) For some night time might not be enough. So pack your backpack and wigwam and settle down in front of your teacher’s office. If asked just tell him or her you’re camping. Don’t invite your teacher – a wigwam in the middle of the corridor isn’t very…intimate. However, should all of this not be good enough for you, then you might just want to try our last tip, then again you might not: Kiss your teacher good night in the middle of the lesson, because it is so boring that you go to sleep. If you ever again happen to get out of detention, make sure to follow the top investigative journalism of your favourite monthly magazine. Stick to broom. (MF&BC) |
Travelling Tales
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What a day! What a glorious
experience! How we had been looking forward to it! Erm, well, after all
those raptures you will certainly want to know what was the cause for them.
It wasn’t the weather – for a change from the sunshine of the past days it
was a bit grey and cool. It wasn’t the Royal Mile, either. We’d been there
before, and although there are loads of wonderful things to see (and buy, in
the uncountable numbers of souvenir shops), we weren’t in raptures again.
No, it was a tiny leaflet some stray Scotsman had pressed upon us announcing
a gorgeous parade of pompous pipers. Of course we wanted to see men in
skirts playing bagpipes! So we chose a nice spot near the ugly new
parliament building to watch the parade which was supposed so start at
Holyrood Palace. It did, and as soon as three groups had paraded past, it…
was over. All over in about ten minutes! What a shame. |
We consoled ourselves by visiting Canongate Kirk where the Muggle Queen attends services when she gets up early enough to go there. Oh, and on the graveyard is a moving grave! It’s the tomb of David Riccio, the secretary a.k.a. harpist of Mary Queen of Scots, who was killed at Holyrood and buried there, until they decided that having the body so close was a giveaway to forensics and Scotland Yard and hid the tomb, engraved stone and all, at Canongate. However, they put up a plate to show that it was Riccio’s tomb. Bit stupid, that.  photo: KS |
We decided a bit of culture would be okay and enjoyed a free tour through the National Gallery, which houses cool paintings in lush red rooms. Cute! There’s even a painting of Severus Snape’s great-grandfather in his potions laboratory. What Muggles collect is really astounding! After having paid a visit to the amazing Floral Clock in Princes Street Gardens 
photo: KSwe went home, full to the brim with lovely experiences. |
broom's Best Bad Boy Board
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In the last edition you learned everything about the
early years of Arthur McNair, aka Argus Filch. You learned about his family,
his pure blood mother and gay father and you also got to know his cousin
Walden, who is now head-executioner of the Ministry. In this edition you
will learn how Arthur fared when he tried to go to Hogwarts and what his
family did to prove that he wasn’t a squib. |
all possible methods of torturing. As this showed no effect they thought up
all impossible methods of torturing. He was finally thrown out of a window
in the seventh floor as seven is a magical number. When Arthur had returned
from the hospital there was no letter that invited him to join his cousin
Walden and go to Hogwarts. Nobody would have imagined that you could almost get killed in the attempt of entering platform 9 ¾, Arthur managed however. When his cousin had scraped him off the ground, he put him into his trunk. Together they managed to get onto the platform. In there Arthur was almost suffocating. When he finally arrived at Hogwarts he was so close to near death that he couldn’t even say his name leave alone a spell and so he was finally categorized as a squib. Read on in the next edition of your favourite broom to find out how poor Arthur fared and failed. Or just use to peacefully fall asleep. |
Horticultural
Horrors
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It’s February again and as certain as an elephant Leslie Pagana Greenacre will
not forget that she usually hands in an article to be presented in broom’s
February-Valentine’s Day edition. So here we go again. Be brave, read on! Amor, Amor, Amor - Love, Love, Love Dear gardeners, dear lovers and dear garden-lovers, In this edition of Horticultural Horrors you will get some useful tips concerning the planning of a beautiful garden so that you will be able to enjoy it all year long without any regrets! Just take a long look at your garden and let yourself be inspired. |
No ideas yet? Well, read on and find inspiration here! As February bears the burden
of St. Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is held in remembrance of a priest who
married lovers. Therefore it would only be natural that we too think of love if
we think of our garden this month. There will of course already be some plants, however, the one or the other place might need re-arranging. If you happen to have the one or the other spot that needs some re-designing let yourself be inspired by your loved one! Lately, I have seen gardens blooming with snapdragons, lupines and annual larkspur. Of course, you cannot always be that lucky and have a loved one whose name is related to a plant. Or he respectively she might bear the name of a plant you don’t want to have in your garden. |
Then
red is the colour for you! Red that is widely known is the colour of love.
The range of red flowers ranges from sunflowers down to primroses. If you like
it a little bit bigger and more impressive you could try with Japanese maple. If you’re not too fond of the colour red, why don’t you go for the favourite colour of your loved one: blue, yellow or pink – anything is available nowadays. Just make sure it fits into its surroundings. Putting the problem of colour aside for a moment, let’s talk about arrangement: What do you think of a flowerbed in the shape of a heart? Or you might prefer a circle, a triangle or a square with round corners. It all depends on you! The best idea is of course to plan and arrange your garden with your loved one. Get together and dream of the coming year in your garden. Happy Valentine’s Day! (LPG) |
Crossword Puzzle
| 1 | ||||||||||||||
| 2 | 3 | |||||||||||||
| 4 | ||||||||||||||
| 5 | IV | 6 | 7 | |||||||||||
| 8 | 9 | VIII | V | |||||||||||
| 10 | 11 | VII | ||||||||||||
| 12 | II | VI | ||||||||||||
| 13 | 14 | |||||||||||||
| 15 | III | |||||||||||||
| 16 | 17 | |||||||||||||
| 18 | ||||||||||||||
| 19 | I | |||||||||||||
| 20 | ||||||||||||||
Across
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Down
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The looked for phrase:
W____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____,
I II III IV I V III VI
____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____!
VII I IV I VIII VI VII
