broom Breaking News
|
(Folkestone) One of the numerous fireworks factories of the
Filibuster-firm fired up in flames on New Year’s Eve. On a fine night lit by sparkling stars people were out for celestial celebrations. Little did they know what would happen next. Folkestone flared up in fireworks of every kind – Muggle and magical. Fires went up in flames and funny fireworks finely lit the sky when a spark set off savagely severing the free factory. A Filibuster’s spokesman said that he had never seen such fine |
fireworks – if only the factory hadn’t gone up in flames at the same time,
he would have been happy about the display. Now rumours have it that Death
Eaters were seen giving the initial sinister spark to the evil inferno. We
cannot confirm this, but it is highly likely since Dr. Filibuster himself
vehemently declined joining vicious V. and his horrible hordes. broom will,
if possible, keep you up to date. (MF) |
June in January
| Joyful January jokingly changes into jealous June this year. Occasionally the cold climate coolly comes in the careful costume of cosy temperatures. Told tidings are that tested testimonials tenderly try to theoretically turn the terrific thermometer upside down. Usually dozens of unfelt days drop unheard down until useless days uniquely dare to become pleasantly bearable. People blame poor Peter for bringing pitiful weather. While willing witnesses willingly witness that warm | winds are winding down their way to the weak world others offer other origins of this occasional occasion. Global warming is generally welcomed as good way of explaining this extra amount of autumn-like atmosphere. Some say that Santa shed some of the summer season to sprinkle a bit of spring onto our sad winter months. Whenever men and women mention the weather, the men winks and moves the winds. No sooner North pole storms notice strong breezes from the Equator. |
broom-e-gram
| December 6 St Nicholas' Day in some European countries.
Children put out their boots and hope that sweets are put in. Well, let's
hope we get sweets, too. December 7 Oops, we didn't get any sweets. Somehow it didn't work for us. What did we do wrong??? December 10 By the way, it's only two weeks until Christmas. Oh dear - TWO WEEKS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!!!! December 11 We decided to count the days until Christmas and used a tape measure where we cut the days off. December 14 Hengist Alret, who must know best, informed us |
that Muggles use something called an advent calendar. You
open doors and you get sweets. Sounds like a good idea. December 20 Okay - someone hexed us. We didn't get any sweets either, but only pictures. That really annoys us. Mightily! December 24 It's Christmas Eve and we decided to celebrate tomorrow. That means we won't have any broom-e-gram until the morning of New Year's Eve. You can guess why... December 31 Another year of broom ended, and still neither Death Eaters nor Ministry managed to quench our quill on fire. Resistance rocks!!! |
| (Hogsmeade) It has been a long time
since we mentioned his name, but we would not be where we are without him.
You see, we do fight alongside him even if we do not always see eye to eye
with him. But Brian Cullen is nevertheless pleased… er, well, at least he
doesn’t mind much that our first interviewee for 2009 is the famous Boy Who
Lived: Harry James Potter. BC: Hi Harry. Nice you found some time to answer some questions. HP: Thanks for asking me here. Have you got a new printer? BC: No. Geronimo is still our printer – and he’s gonna be faithful this year, he promised on New Year’s Eve. If he doesn’t keep that promise he’s going to be in the rubbish faster than he can shout for ink. HP: I see. Well, you surely got a reason to ask me over. BC: I do. I’m sorry to touch this subject, but since Sirius Black is dead, where will |
be the Order’s headquarters now? HP: I’m not sure if it’s wise to reveal this in broom. BC: Oh, are you concerned about secrecy? That’s funny, seeing you do not really act discreetly yourself. HP: I beg your pardon? BC: You do show your likes and dislikes very openly, don’t you, Harry? HP: Sure I do. What use would it be if I didn’t? BC: Diplomacy gains much more at times than crudeness. But you’ll learn that in time – Dumbledore will teach you, he’s a master of masking his own thoughts and feelings. Since you were not able to learn from the real master, you must do with the second best. HP: The real master? BC: Yeah, well, Severus Snape, of course. HP: Don’t mention him. BC: I do not really fancy him as you know, but he’s got to have some good |
core somewhere hidden. |
Travelling Tales
|
(Platform 9 ¾) Following the
Hogwarts Express to the Muggle World isn’t an easy task. As of course, you
will have already guessed Brian and Mike didn’t go on holiday alone. Two
men like them will never be alone anywhere – there could be some work to do.
As usual they packed their slaves. |
There was no choice but to return to the Muggle part of the station and to
ask for the way. As slave is not only faithful and naïve but also
quite straight forward and brave she asked for the Royal Scotsman at the
information desk. Royal Scotsman? Yes, Royal Scotsman, this is what the Hogwarts Express is called in the Muggle world. After being sent to another train guard she was sent to platform two. There she patiently awaited the arrival of the Hogwarts Express. Once the Hogwarts Express had arrived she took a number of photos – unfortunately she was discovered while doing so: A young man belonging to the Muggle crew of the Hogwarts Express winked at her. Tall, good-looking, dark hair if that is you, you’ve got the chance to reveal to the world who is one of the spies – sorry, slaves – of broom or you could just turn her straight in to the Ministry. |
However, should you be reading this, you could just send an e-mail to slave.
She would be delighted.
By the way, here are pics   Left: The Hogwarts Express in disguise! Right: Man winking at our slave! photos: UF  If this is you, do not hesitate to send an owl or e-mail! (25. July 2008) photo: UF |
Scandal: American-Style Election To Find New Best Bad Boy
|
(broom) The last elections have led to an
amazing disappointment in Brian and Mike, therefore, they simply skipped
last year’s election and faked the dubious outcome right away. |
According to Brian and Mike the candidate most unlikely to win
this election was Argus Filch. Obviously, he is the one to win. The next
Best Bad Boy – or old man rather – is Argus Filch. “We’re very proud to announce that Argus Filch managed to gather the most votes,“ declares Mike. “In second came a certain relatively unknown boy named Harry Potter,” adds Brian. It seems that it was a sort of photo-finish (mind you without photo and finish). Argus Filch led only by one vote. “Brian and Mike were able to score a respectable seventh place,” one slave, working for broom, told our reporters secretly. It may be noticed with surprise that Brian and Mike were not able to score higher or even win last year’s non-held election. “We were deeply shocked by the surprising outcome of the election,” Mike reveals. “We did not betray the public but we took the pressure from the voters to vote.“ Some non-voters announced that they are ready to take the case to the Wizengamott. “We’re not scared. We simply want to congratulate the voters to their dubious choice,” Brian told us deliberately. “And of course, our congratulations go to Argus Filch who managed to get a fantastical result. We’re all looking forward to the upcoming edition of broom,” Mike added. |
broom's Best Bad Boy Board
|
(Your World) As surprised as we usually are, we are
quite at a loss what could have happened now! Last year you voted for Roland
Banks and now for Argus Filch. Argus Filch?! Well, anyway if you want to be
bored… |
into a
disastrous duo and gathered doubtful fame in the neighbourhood as they
cruelly tortured other people’s children. This torture was usually intended
to punish previous bad behaviour. They took great joy in cutting toe nails until the toes were bleeding. Though it was well known who was behind these doings they could never be proven guilty. The two cousins closely stuck to themselves as soon all other children were forbidden to go near them – not that they had wanted to. They continued spending a cruel time, however, it soon became obvious that Filch’s abilities were only limited. While Walden frequently used magic, Arthur only occasionally attempted to use it. However, his abilities in other fields did not exceed expectations either. He was quite bad at school having great difficulties in such basic fields as spelling. Read in the next edition if he managed to be accepted at Hogwarts and how he almost got killed in the attempt to prove that he was magical. |
The Witches of Helmenzen
| broom is very proud to introduce a young author,
Karoline Bauer, who wrote a terrific story. It was originally meant as a
school homework – but hey, you know us, we take every piece of work if that
means it gives us more time to do our own research! Anyway, have fun reading
it: It was in April in the year 1869 in a small village near the castle of Altenkirchen, two days before all the witches had their big celebration in Helmenzen. Every year they celebrated their rescue by the famous witch Cecilia from the evil black hangman Gregor the Horrible. He lived in Helmenzen in the 17th century and he was a devote follower of the Earl of Sayn-Wittgenstein. Gregor had killed many people and a lot of them were not guilty. One day in September the execution of a young woman named Cecilia took place. Other people had seen her collecting herbs in the forest and, more importantly, she had red long hair. During the torture with a thumbscrew she had admitted that she was a witch and so Gregor burnt her. While she was burning, she screamed that she wanted to take revenge on the villagers. Gregor only laughed at her and her piercing screams were smothered by her death. Weeks later, nobody remembered her words and people did their jobs. The farmers worked on their fields, the blacksmith hammered the swords and the teacher taught the boys from Helmenzen |
in the small schoolhouse, but in a cold full-moon night
all things changed. Maria, the little daughter of Otto II, mayor of Helmenzen, was lying in her bed and was playing with her doll as the door was opened by a ghostly hand. Maria got up, but nobody was there. She was scared and closed the door. Then she went to bed again. A frosty breeze got into her room and a cold hand touched her shoulder. Maria screamed, but nobody came to help her. When, the next morning, her nanny wanted to wake her up, she found Maria dead on the floor. She was strangled by a strand of long red hair. The nanny ran downstairs, cried and spread the horrible story. All the parents went to wake up their children, but in all families the youngest daughter was killed. Nobody thought of the curse of Cecilia, the witch who was burnt, so there was no explanation of the murder of the little girls. The village was in mourning and all people locked their doors and nailed up their windows, but they could not escape. In the following night a woman with red hair went to the houses, cut a strand of her hair and put it into the rooms of the oldest daughters. This time she did not kill them, this time she had a better idea: she turned the girls into witches like vampires turn their victims into vampires by biting them. Their hair went red and they followed an impulse to come to the Galgenberg in Helmenzen to meet Cecilia. They could not resist the impulse. |
So Elisabeth, Gregor’s daughter, left the house
and went to the Galgenberg. Gregor had very good ears so he heard that
Elisabeth went away. He thought that she had a boyfriend, so he followed
her. As he saw all the witches with their red hair and Cecilia in the middle, he was very shocked because he had killed her. Cecilia was dead. All the girls had turned into witches. He had to rescue the village, he had to rescue the people of Helmenzen. He knew what he had to do. He had to cut Cecilia’s long red hair. If he cut her hair, she would lose her magic power. Then he could reverse Cecilia’s charm. So he crept into the forest till he could touch the neck of Cecilia. He lifted his knife and wanted to cut her hair. He moved his hand… Suddenly she turned around and turned Gregor into a statue for moments. The magic did not keep long so she took the knife out of Gregor’s hands and cut into her right arm. Her green blood was streaming down her body. She said that she had to blend her blood with the blood of the hangman who had killed her. That would mean, she and Gregor had to die, but then the witches would be rescued. So, Cecilia cut into the arm of the hangman, too, and blended her green blood with the red blood of the man. Cecilia cried her final scream and then both fell to the ground and were dead. The witches were rescued and maybe there are still witches in Helmenzen today. |
|
|
|
7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 7 |
| |
|
| 7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 4 | 7 | 2 |
|
|
|
7 |
|
| 5 | 6 | 1 |
|
|
|
|
|
| 9 | 3 | 8 | 7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 7 |
| 7 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Happy New Year, Severus!