broom Breaking News
| Naturally, November negatively nurtures normal nests of wet weather. While weeping willows willingly wail and wishfully wait to lately lose their last leaves, wandering witches and walking wizards vainly don’t want to worry about the windy wind. Finally, frozen flakes will freely fall from cold clouds collectively covering the sad sky. Furthermore, frequent fog fervently finds devilish Dementors daringly do what beautiful birds and busy bees daringly do for the careful conception of coming children. Misty moods make Muggle men and magic masters |
meaningfully
mad. Awful autumn, famous fall as original autumn is always alluded to in all of America, partly possesses the painful power to pitifully put down dull pedestrians in public places by threateningly throwing thousands of terrifying twigs from terrible trees. Kingly crowns collectively crash into costly cars clearly causing expensive extra expenses. Additionally, vicious autumn will already welcome artful winter. Sigh, soon the seen season is sunny spring. |
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(The
Muggle World) Strange as it has always seemed to be to us, it lately
turned out to be even stranger, looking through a university magazine and
found a hospital. Of course, the fact of finding a hospital in a university magazine might not be strange enough, however, the fact of finding a hospital for teddy bears. Now, none of us here at broom really is into medicals, we cannot really tell if there are any diseases which can be caught and maybe communicated by |
teddy bears,
then again we feel quite comfortable to doubt this. |
broom-e-gram
| October 15 Alright, the October broom is done - and now
we realize that Halloween is coming up. Oh bum, how did that happen? October 17 As if the news hadn't been bad enough, the weather is abysmal as well. What the news is? Er... Leslie wants to do a new gardening column. October 20 We tried to bully Harriet Kettle-Stove into giving us a new recipe, but she said she was working on the Christmas edition recipes and had no time. Besides, her kitchen was all sticky with molten sugar. October 23 We're trying to find an interviewee for November broom. It's rather hard work, we can tell you! we're martyrs |
for the good of broom. October 25 Our Minister for Magic somehow said no to our request for an interview. Perhaps we shouldn't have addressed it to "The lying scum at the Ministry in London"... October 29 Yippie yeah, we've got Halloween broom at the ready. At least we hope so. October 31 Halloween. PARTY TIME!!! November 3 Here's to us, we managed to get two editions of broom ready in just a few days. And we found the best interviewee ever. No, we aren't sucking up to him. We usually gush over him any way, don't we, Severus?! We try to be neutral, but there are cases when you just can't be. |
| (Shrewsbury) After the fall of Voldemort and the
terrible battle of Hogwarts which caused so much misery in so many families,
a group of courageous witches and wizards managed to awaken some of the dead.
Perhaps the most prominent of those called back to life is Severus Snape.
broom has the honour of publishing the only authorized interview, conducted
by Brian Cullen. When I was on my way to Shrewsbury I felt pretty queasy. After all, I had seen the body – the dead body, mind you – and I had this terrible feeling of soon talking to a zombie. However, as forebodings go, this one was a complete false alarm. Severus Snape is very much alive and has changed in a way nobody who knew him as vindictive potions master and headmaster of Hogwarts could ever have expected. BC: Severus, it is a pleasure seeing you here. SS: Thank you, Brian. It still is a miracle I should have been rescued to come here. BC: Well, it must be strange, living here with, erm, your wife… SS: It is like a dream at times – but I guess this will wear off in time. (chuckles) BC: Right. Let us talk of the past. You have been the most feared wizard, second only to Lord Voldemort. How do people react when they see you now? SS: I thought we were talking about the past? Anyway, some people still scorn me and my family. However, as the truth, thanks to your efforts at broom, is |
spilled out in buckets, attitudes are changing. Luckily for us,
my wife’s grandmother is campaigning on my behalf and we have the support of
many members of the Order of the Phoenix. BC: This is a pretty recent development, I gather. SS: That’s right. The Order has been against me, naturally. According to Albus Dumbledore’s wish his death looked like murder, thus securing my place in the innermost Death Eater circle as well as a painless death for Dumbledore. I was thinking of backing out, though. BC: Were you indeed? SS: Of course. I had my wife to think about, hadn’t I? With me gone she was practically defenceless – but there were you and Mike, and you stayed loyal even when everyone else deserted her for my sake. You cannot imagine just how much such a thing hurts! BC: It must have been hell for you, too, not only for her. SS: It was dangerous, I was running on adrenaline most of the time. That I was found out in the end was due to a lapse. Well, better not say anything about it. (winces painfully) BC: Now that you are recovered, what are your plans for the future? Will you go back to Hogwarts? SS: No, I won’t. I loathed teaching. Emerson Dicket is a much better headmaster than I could ever be, and I have absolutely no intention of re-claiming any post at Hogwarts. My wife, though, has received a call to come back and take my former post as potions master. You see, everything sorts itself out nicely. |
BC: Oh yes, it does. But what about you? I cannot really see you
as a stay-at-home dad. |
Travelling Tales
| (Edinburgh) Anyone who has ever travelled knows that
there are not only joys but also duties waiting for you. One of these duties
is to send dozens of postcards home, another one is to bring souvenirs for
every Tom, Dick or Harry and the last one is to see as many things as
possible. And this is actually what we ventured forth to do on our third day in Edinburgh. Yes, all of these. Having already written some of the necessary postcards we started out in search of the nearest post office. Thanks to the help of our Muggle Hotel Consultant we easily found our way there. To get an idea of the whole we walked or rather climbed up to Edinburgh Castle. From up there we could see how beautiful Edinburgh is. It also came in handy that there was a cute Muggle souvenir shop. We spared our pounds and didn’t visit the inside of the castle having practically grown up in one. Everything was buzzing with the preparation for the Edinburgh Festival anyway. |
 Edinburgh's Royal Mile with the white tower of the Camera Obscura. photo: KS Down the hill we walked along the Royal Mile and felt quite royal ourselves until we saw the prices and we were painfully reminded that we’re only poor journalists. We quickly passed the Witches Well where poor Muggle women were burnt and hurried into the Tartan Weaving Mill where we learnt all about skirts – sorry – kilts. To take a break we visited the Camera Obscura which transfers live moving images of the city without eccletricity (medieval CCTV). |
 The Witchery - or rather the sign of the Witchery. It's almost opposite of the Camera Obscura. photo: KS None of our trips would be complete without a visit to at least one church so we went into St. Giles. From there we somehow arrived around Candlemaker Row. Yes, with the famous elephant in which a certain author claims to have written some lines on a napkin (hardly, but we could resist the urge). Finally, before returning to our flat, we paid a visit to Greyfriars Bobby who could fill more than just one article, sigh, we wished one of our slaves or printers was as loyal as Skye Terrier Bobby! (MF) |
broom's Best Bad Boy Board
| Roland Banks and his family played host to the
escaped Death Eater Avery after the mass breakout from Azkaban. This, of
course, would not have been the best of ideas in normal times, but right now
it was the best way to get into the right circles. Right, in this case, of course meant influential circles, where even a complete idiot like Roland Banks could find help and something to believe in. Weak people tend to run after ideologies of any kind. Since Roland was, admittedly, left alone by everyone else, he turned rather fiercely towards the Dark Lord and his followers. Here, being a pureblood meant so much more than ability. Here, he was esteemed for his family – whereas in the wizarding world at large, he was despised. No, it really was not strange that Roland tried to find himself a safe haven. The Death Eaters soon were called to assemble and find tasks for each and every one. Avery, being in the innermost circle, mentioned Roland. Unfortunately for Roland, his former house teacher Severus Snape was present as well. He vehemently |
spoke against him – not, as he pretended, because
Roland was an idiot (okay, yes, perhaps a bit because of that reason…), but
mostly because he wanted to save Roland from the kind of trouble he was just
skidding into. This was the first occasion Snape failed. Roland was called upon to present himself, and turned up, and received his orders: He should try and use his old contacts to spy on Anne Symmons. Perhaps the Dark Lord was a bit mistaken in judging Roland’s contacts. Most probably Roland had told Avery that he had been good friends with the Malignant Magpies. Voldemort, on his part, was keen to know what his old enemy Frank Symmons was up to. Even in the good old days, Frank had not pretended to be really in league with Voldemort but had openly aspired to become master in his own right. So Roland set out to find Anne, and to watch her – which, as we all know, was a hard task at best and an impossible one at worst. How he fared and what his present plans are you will get to know in our next edition of broom! |
The Lost Sandals
| However, even with his sandals at hand or rather foot
he could not have made it for Raghid passed them all, though being a
Quarter-Dwarf he was quite gigantic around his waist and bottom to sit
comfortably he needed two chairs – and as in the years before he got them.
On the first evening the students did not stay in the Little Room for long.
They had to move on to the Sorting Hut. The Sorting Hut looked like a closet – a water closet. The door bore a heart-shaped hole and was all made of wood. Inside was a lock that secured the student’s privacy. The seat had the form of a toilet and when you pulled the flush it would tell you which house had accepted you. We don’t won’t to reveal much more about this intimate moment let us just add that Parry, Right and Gemioni were sorted into Gryffoutdoor while Maco became a student of Slyther-Out. |
Without food and still wet they had to carry not
only their own but also the luggage of the other students upstairs. Tired
Parry fell on his sack of straw where he would have to sleep the next couple
of months – with interruptions. The next morning he had to get up bright and
early to help the other first years prepare the breakfast for the other
students, teachers and staff. The first years had to live on the crumbs
falling from their tables – and this is actually why none of them needs a
chair. “There, look.” “Where?” “Next to the small kid with the red hair.” “Wearing the glasses?” “Did you see his face?” “Did you see his scarf?” “But, hang on, where are his sandals?” These sentences followed Parry wherever he went and wherever he did not go the sentences ‘Where is he?’ ‘Has anybody seen him?’ ‘With his scarf?’ ‘But where are his |
sandals?’ predominated. However, Parry was not
concerned with this. He had much bigger problems to deal with: the teachers. It was a fact which had spread fast: some teachers were biased. GagMonagall for example hated everybody shorter than a broomstick – she was a Quidditch fanatic that explains why whereas Cape loved everybody as long as they did not belong to his own house Slyther-Out. Witflick distrusted anybody taller than himself. Wicket hated all gummle-born students. Fargus Ilch attacked anyone inside the castle while no one was save of Raghid outside. Life was not easy at Wogharts, then again we all know that we don’t go to school for fun! In the next edition you will witness Parry’s first lesson and one more time the question ‘where are your sandals?’ will crop up and remain unanswered. |
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Severus, do you know, do you know, do you know?