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Long-Lost Love

Horrible Hunting House Hauled Down

An Etymological Excursion

(Hogsmeade) As you were informed by BBN we here at broom and especially Miss Vainglory are eager to find out about the origin of the name Severus as it is found in the name Snape. Unfortunately, the potions master has not so much time to spare to write a long letter to broom and so his first communication turned out to be quite short: “Shut up!” However, we here at broom did not despair and ignored this. We took the next step as accurately as possible sending a note to the renowned professor informing him that his first name should correctly be pronounced ‘severe-ass’. Despite his little time he promptly replied: “Highly unlikely.” And to this anyone who doesn’t know him will agree: decide for yourselves. The research continued and we really got ourselves deep into this matter and checked out the Latin adjective ‘severus’. It means serious, severe, hard and cruel, however, the next thing we learn from this useful little volume is that there were a Roman poet, an orator and an emperor by the same name! We did not hesitate to inform the professor of our latest findings. We here at broom think his next line conveyed a bit of thankfulness: “Will you leave me alone!” But this is nothing compared to the next fact we discovered. There is a Satan by the same name – no sorry, that should be Saint. Miss Vainglory, however, found out in deeply trying further research that there are actually several saints by that name: to wit, 2, plus 3 other ecclesiastically highly renowned reverend men. Happy to have found this, we eagerly wrote to the potions master, who replied by sending us his assistant, Miss Wood, to tell us that he did not think we should go on. Or, as Miss Wood quoted:

“These morons shall keep their noses out of these matters!” -- We were, as it was, a little upset with him. As it had taken us such a long time and a lot of trouble to get the information (even blackmail was involved!), we thought we presented him nevertheless with our findings. We began by selecting information on the two saints. Here we go: Saint Severus No. 1 was a bishop of Naples and died already in 401. Or 408. We cannot be sure about that. Maybe he died twice, who knows? After all, he’s a saint. He built some churches, although we guess he himself did not lift a finger to do so. Or maybe the finger holding the quill to give the order. Anyway, he let the churches be built. Funnily, he did not find eternal rest after his death: he was buried thrice, and after that his bones were given as gifts to various churches. Maybe that’s why he is now a patron of the dying – maybe they fervently wish not to be scattered throughout the churches like he was? However, we informed our reverend professor he could not visit one grave of his namesake. He could visit several. To which information Professor Severus Snape, surely no saint, sent a phial with a memory-erasing potion. What were we going to write next? Quite generously, Miss Wood supplied the antidote and now we remember! Saint Severus No. 2, again a bishop, this time of Trier, died about 451. His teacher was a certain Lupus of Troyes. Hum. That made us write a polite letter to Professor Remus Lupin. He answered almost immediately, shocked: “I am sure I have no relation to that teacher!” Well, we must tell you, sir, that that teacher was a saint. So, if you’re related, welcome in the ranks of our reverend relations.

Back to our St. Severus, who will have died slaughtered by the Huns. No grave to visit, sorry to say, and in addition to that he’s quite often mixed up with other saints by that name or by the name of Severin. Now get ready for the three remaining ecclesiastical coryphées. We will begin with yet another bishop called Severus – can we be sure that our dear Professor is not willing to choose the monastic life? – a bishop of Ravenna in Italy. He died sometime in 344, and his relics were spread all over Europe, but especially Germany. The authors of this article happen to have been in one of the churches where there are supposedly bones of this saint. We could bring you a knuckle if you want! We wrote this to Professor Snape, and we are sure he was awestruck this time, for he did not answer at all. We are sure this utter silence conveyed his deep admiration for our zealous work. Heartened by this, we went on and found the following Severus in church’s history, a bishop of Menorca in the 5th century AD. He wrote a letter concerning some relics of St. Stephen. We were not able to find out more, but we think that writing a letter is certainly an ability the saint and our professor share. Our last finding was Patriarch of the Orthodox Church, by the name of Severus Bar Maschqa. He died in 684. As we are not sure if the Snape-family has any affinity to the orthodox church, we think it rather unlikely that this man has anything to do with the name of our reverend professor. We anticipate the reactions of Professor Snape to our findings. So far, there has been no letter at all. Owls return with unopened letters from us. Could it be that Severus Snape has decided to live secluded like a hermit now that he knows of his saintly namesakes? We will find out!                                                (ALL)

The Lost Sandals

Learn about the next adventure of Parry Hotter and his infamous sandals! There was no time for Parry to take a break. The guard asked him for his ticket and threatened the young boy to throw him out of the train should he not be able to show a ticket. Parry searched his pockets. And he searched his socks. And he searched his luggage. Nothing. The ticket was gone. A split second before he got thrown out he remembered that it was in the hiding in his belt. He pulled it out and was allowed to stay. Leaving behind a sad guard who had been looking forward to throwing another student from the train. Parry washed the beads of sweat from his face and looked for an empty compartment. He did not like company. His years at the house of the Sirlys had changed his attitude towards his fellow human beings. There he had simply gotten too much of it. He was not spared it for long. A tiny boy entered the compartment sat down and asked: “What are you looking at?” It was Right Peasley – a

first year just like Parry. They did not talk and while Right ate the delicious sandwich his mother had prepared for him Parry had to starve. Not before long another person entered the compartment. She asked for a frog – obviously she was quite hungry just like Parry. Well, had there been a frog Parry would have dealt with it – but there just wasn’t. Hungry as he was he arrived at Wogharts. Raghid, the Quarter-Dwarf, welcomed the first years – the new ones just as the old ones. The first task they had to deal with was to water-ski across the lake. Mumblefore had arranged it that it always rained over the lake. At least the chances to get wet were equally distributed. If you did not fall into the lake to get soaking wet the rain would arrange this and so at the end all new students – if they managed or not, leaving alone those who drunk – were all wet. Parry managed. Dripping he waited with the other first years in front of the Little Room. Maco Dralfoy approached him. And said in a cold and evil voice: “Then it is true what they said on the train: Parry

Hotter is now at Wogharts.” Lightly he added: “We should go and have a drink some day.” They shook hands. The peduity madhistress joined them. She tapped Maco on the shoulder. “No drinks will be served after midnight.” She informed the young guest. “Robert!” A tiny, delicate boy shouted as a frog jumped right in front of GagMonagall’s feet. He bent down to pick his pet up just at that moment GagMonagall kicked it away. “So sorry, dear.” She said and turned. “We’re ready for you now.” The Little Room was true to its name, there was in deed little room. At five tables the people had gathered. The teachers sat at the head of the room. In front of their table waited one chair. The last one. The task for the first years was to run as fast as possible and to secure the chair. “Why didn’t I pack my sandals.” Parry thought to himself. In the next edition you will learn why the sandals wouldn’t have helped and which house Parry will have to join.

Editor's Corner

Train Spotting Ever tried to travel with the Muggle Railway? No? Lucky you! How on earth Muggles get anywhere in all this confusion is a perfect miracle to me. Out of scientific curiosity (and to do some research for an article), I decided to try and get from London to Hogsmeade by train. The first problem was my intended destination: the clerk thought I was making an extremely bad joke. So, if you have a go, keep in mind: Hogsmeade is not on any Muggle map! Try any other, Muggle, northern town and you’ll have a ticket pronto. Then go to any wizard’s store and use Floo Powder. Too difficult? Right. Plus too expensive…

However, I did this. Arriving at the station, I found that the track printed on my ticket had been changed – that is, the train departed from another platform. So I hurried to this, just to be greeted by an impersonal metallic voice telling me to go to yet another platform. With a suitcase, this is no fun. But I caught my train, and we set off with a twenty-minute delay. Did the Muggles complain? No, they seemed used to it, as they really were according to some I asked. Well, fellow wizards and witches, it is clear we can reckon ourselves blessed: our children will always depart and arrive on time with the Hogwarts Express, and we can pop up almost everywhere! Give us your opinion – as usual. We really need your voice in this! Yours, Mike Flatley.

Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.