broom Breaking News

                            Vicious Valentines Vanish Visibly

Fine February, 14th finally faces fair favours fervently forwarded from fabulous friends to tolerant takers of terrible tokens. Vain Valentine wishes were wasted vigorously on willing victims while amorous affections are attacked artistically by arrogant a…s. Yet this young year jealously yearns for true testimonies of total devotion to the taker and vice versa. While vicious Valentines visibly went out of flying fashion real relations readily re-live a renewing renaissance. This tender term tellingly talks of timeless transactions of timid tenderness. Therefore thrilling souls will certainly search for soothing subjects for their selfish satisfaction. Wonderful Valentine’s Day will want dozens of very dazed watching wanderers daringly wondering what lustful love does to listless life. Actually amorous affairs actively agitate all other areas of our entire organism. Huge happiness is hilariously healthy for our helpful heart, for example. Fall feverishly in fantastic love on February, 14th. Wonderful Valentine’s week!
(ALL)

Let’s Be Honest

(Your world, for certainly it is not ours) Lately broom called you to the polls to vote for the best bad boy. You somehow have misunderstood the idea behind it. Therefore we’ve decided to explain to you all you need to know about it.
First of all and most important of all and in fact only of all: You’re supposed to vote for Brian Cullen and Mike Flatley. They are the best bad boys. Believe us we do know it we’re working for them.
Okay, we do understand that we only came in second. Of course, you didn’t want to hurt us by officially making us best bad boys. And believe us we’re not hurt because of that.

 However, we are hurt because we came in second after Roland Banks! Roland Banks! Please, what do you think about Roland Banks. Haven’t you read the stories about him? Obviously not.
And obviously you haven’t heard or read about Voldemort either. (Just as an aside you seem to haven’t heard about Brian and Mike either.) 16 votes for Voldemort. 16? 16 votes for the wizard who has caused such a mayhem and he only gets 16 votes. Apart from that he came in last!
Let’s sum it up: You’re deadly scared of Roland Banks. You’re polite to Brian and Mike. And you have never heard of Voldemort. Honestly, do you read broom or do you just look at the pictures? (ALL)

broom-e-gram

January 1 A New Year begins - once again one that does not see us as Best Bad Boys. Humph.
January 6 Today three magicians are supposed to have offered gifts to Jesus - but no wizard would give such useless things as myrrh and incense. The gold's okay, though.
January 12 Well. We guess we somehow forgot someone's birthday. Can you remind us?
January 13 Now we know! What a major mistake - January 9 was Severus Snape's birthday!!! Happy belated Birthday then!		 January 18 Perhaps we weren't raided this month because we remembered Snape's birthday. Yes, that must be it. We'll send him a large pickled frog soon.
January 26 We got the pickled frog back. Apparently he isn't into eating the pickled things in his office. He just displays them.
January 30 Yes, yes. It's rather a close shave once again - that only shows how seldom Brian shaves. (Bad pun, we know.) We will finish the next broom. Oh, and ere we forget: Happy Valentines Day, Severus!

“No Interview,” Say Editors

(broom Headquarters) Somehow we ended up without a suitable interview for our Valentine's Day edition aka February broom. we asked ourselves about that problem.

broom: Mr Flatley, Mr Cullen, why didn't you write a Valentine's interview in time?
MF&BC: We had so much to do, 		thinking up birthday presents.
broom: Birthday presents?!
MF&BC: Of course. Severus Snape celebrated his birthday in January. We wanted to show him our reverence.
broom: That was quite sweet of you.
MF&BC: Sweet?! That was pure opportunism.
broom: The will to survive is strong, isn't it?		 MF&BC: Yes, you lose all natural shyness in sucking up to someone.
broom: So what do you intend to do about the interview?
MF&BC: Nothing. We ignore it.

So broom is sadly bereft of any decent interview for this edition. Sorry, dear readers!
(ALL)

broom's Best Bad Boy Board

You already got to know that nobody in the Banks-family ever made history, so this year’s column is certainly a big deal for them. It costs us a lot of time, too, since, where there are no facts to draw exciting adventures from, we have to invent quite a lot. It is up to you, dear readers, to find out what is true and what is not exactly perfectly the truth. Anyway, fact is that Banks did have to go to Hogwarts. Let’s accompany the little dunderhead!
Of course, the downfall of Voldemort hit the Banks hard. It was almost inconceivable that their idol should have vanished from sight, and that all the heroes they worshipped very quickly landed themselves either in Azkaban or bribed their way out of prison more quickly than you can say “galleon”. Going to Hogwarts was now, for Roland, something to look forward to with very mixed feelings. In the old days, he might have been 		regarded as a good boy whose parents worked for the right cause, even though not in a very distinguished way. But now – what was awaiting him now?
First of all, the Hogwarts Express was waiting for all the new students who would bask in glory, especially the Gryffindor ones, and especially the editors of this magazine. But we ramble. Wunibald, Elvira and Seraphia all accompanied Roland to the platform and saw him safely onto the train. There, Roland met first Sebastian Cook, whose idiocy seemed to match his which made them friends at first sight. Then, by coincidence, the two met Ramon Vargas, who might not be entirely nice but still you can’t blame him to be stupid. So, finally, after eleven years without any, Roland had a brain.
What he did with this brain and when at a loss without it, you will read in the next editions of broom!

The Moon Over Wogharts

While the two men were sharing the dinner in silence, Asher pondered if he should confront his capturer again with what he surmised about him. “If you wonder, Mr Devereux, where you heard my name before, you are absolutely right about St James,” MacFee said as if he had read Asher’s mind. “But I am quite certain this wasn’t because you robbed the latest load of silver, or fought Spanish galleons for our King,” Asher said thoughtfully. “No, most likely not. It must have been some time ago,” Sean replied. “So it was. Some ten years. I was only just introduced.”
“But let us not talk about me, let us talk about the bargain you made concerning Patricia Shaughnessy,” Sean changed the topic smoothly. Devereux had no choice but to follow suit. “My father and Patricia’s father thought it would be a good idea to unite their business. You see, Patricia’s mother died without giving birth to an heir. Patricia has only her cousin Richard Boyens to assist her, and  		   Mr Shaughnessy seems to have had his doubts about Boyens’ reliance,” Asher explained. “So it’s a business venture, mainly,” Sean concluded. Asher shrugged.
“As are most marriages, I should think.” Sean nodded. “Of course they are. You marry for practical reasons, not for love – but you might end up with something you cannot have wanted.” “Like that poor fellow, Linacre, whose wife turned out to be raving mad,” Devereux agreed, eyeing his host shrewdly.
Sean’s face drained of all colour, but he kept his composure admirably well. “Such surprises can occur and can ruin a family utterly,” he agreed quietly. “So they say. Well, Patricia is said to be a nice girl, sensible and pretty,” Asher said casually.
“You haven’t seen her?” Sean asked surprised. “Not since we were both children. I should think she doesn’t wear her hair in pigtails now,” Asher laughed. “No. She looks the lady she was		 bred to be, albeit being just a merchant’s daughter,” Sean thought aloud. Asher leaned forward. “In truth, I’m sorry for the girl. She has never had any choice, and that’s not fair.”
“No, perhaps not. But as you said, this is quite the custom these days,” Sean said glibly. “Yes, how right you are, and how wise our fathers must deem themselves. A pity not all fathers are wise enough to do their research of the bride’s family thoroughly enough.” Sean nearly choked on the gulp of ale in his mouth. This Asher Devereux knew a little too much about the dark secrets of Sean’s past, to be sure. “Perhaps,” he managed to say. “I will safely deliver you to your bride, should that be your wish. Then we will ask her what her wishes are,” he added. Asher smiled sadly. “To do as her father told her, I think. She is a good daughter.” “Aye, so she is.” Sean drained his tankard of ale and gazed into the darkness beyond the windows of his cabin.

Crossword







1 I

2 








3 

 

4 
 IV
 





5 
 
6 VIII
 
 
 
 XI
 
 





 X
 
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Across
4 Down 6 turns your and my into ...
5 special name of your loved one on a special day
7 you and your loved one might be like fire and ...
8 if you stop loving each other you break ...
9 answer you don't want to hear to the question "Will you marry me?"

Down
1 someone who stole your love and treated it badly heart-...
2 sort of movement tjhat concerns your feelings e-...
3 opposite of Down 6
6 all you need


The looked for phrase:

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I    II     III  IV   V       VI   VII VIII II   IX    X    XI  IX   II
S____ ____ ____ ____ ____S!
  II    VI  II    V   IV

Horticultural Horrors

Leslie Pagana Greenacre has agreed again to provide our dear readers with a couple of tips concerning the seasonal activities in and around your garden. And since we here at broom know her well, she’ll definitely talk about other boring things, too.
Ex Arborem Nataliciam Testimonium Amatorium – From Christmas Tree to Proof of Love
Dear gardeners, love is all we need, we are told at this time of the year, but don’t we know better?! All we need to do is to get rid of our Christmas tree. And all we need as well is a Valentine’s present for the one we love. I tell you something, why don’t we kill two birds with one stone?
Put down the stone! Not literally, of course, that would be much too dangerous with mad bird disease around! The most pestering thing about the Christmas tree are the needles – especially those which have left their save habitat on the twigs. Put them into a bowl!
If you take a close look at your tree, you might find that there are some pieces of

a  decoration left. Should you or your tree be in the possession of some heart-shaped ornaments put them into the bowl with the needles. If you’re not that lucky, just take a look at your neighbourhood and you might ‘find’ just what you need!
Take another look at your Christmas tree and indeed I’d advice you to give it another shake. Good. Are there any needles left on the tree. And have they by any chance crowded around one or two twigs? Well, cut them off and add them to your Valentine’s bowl.
Now it’s time to start cutting down your tree twig by twig and branch by branch. Put the flexible twigs into your bowl, the others into the garden of your neighbour when he isn’t watching! Wave your wand or hover depending on whether you are a wizard or Muggle.
You should have gotten rid of your Christmas tree now and the only thing left to be done is to arrange your Valentine’s present. Get yourself a beautifully shaped bowl, box or jar. Fill it with the needles. If you don’t have a lot of needles you can add some water, too.
Decorate the needles with the heart-

shaped ornaments either on top or at the side whatever you prefer! Then add the twigs with needles. Now comes the hardest part: Take your flexible needle-less twigs and get them into a heart-shaped form. You can fix it with a silver or gold wire. Add it to your present.
The last thing you’ll need is a Valentine’s Day card. Take a piece of cardboard and fold it in the middle. Draw a heart on it so that the top is on the fold. Cut it out and there you have the basis of your card. Paint it red and add whatever decorations you like.
While your heart is drying try to come up with a nice sort of poem to write inside of your card. Make it something like: Skies are blue/and I’m in luck!/I love you/my little duck! Don’t forget to sign your name! You’ll never be alone on a Valentine’s Day with a present like this! Yours (LPG)
Well, certainly not, emergency admission is always crowded. Nevertheless a wet kiss to Leslie for her column – she won’t get anything else anyway. Brian, what are you doing to our Christmas tree? (MF)

Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.