broom Breaking News

Cucumbers Campaigning for Sharper Cut-knives

(Wizarding World) Caring cucumbers began a controlled campaign for shaper cut-knives. Violet Vainglory fearlessly followed the crowd of cucumbers.
A crowd of caring cucumbers does not sound sinister or even evil – and they are not. If anything they are so coolly careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings by fretting, even their demands demonstrated are merely moderately displayed. Cucumbers 		campaigning for sharper cut-knives are a solemn sight to see, surely, but they have a real reason for raising their voices: The sharper the knife, the cleaner the cut, the shorter the potentially prolonged process. However, some caring cucumbers campaigned for sharper cut-knives expressively entering the sad subject of incidental injuries of the careless cooks. So, sharpen your knives, your cucumbers care about it! (VV) 

A Song to Gravy?

(England) There is nothing so typically English as the Sunday lunch of joint, vegetables, Yorkshire pudding and, of course, gravy. However, as some very discerning authors realized, gravy is sadly underestimated.
Nobody has ever made a poem or a song about gravy. Not even a novel, nor a short story has been written about it. Isn’t that a horribly unjust treatment for a sauce which has shaped Britain as no other sauce has? You don’t believe that? Well,

gravy has been Nelson’s favourite, and Queen Victoria recommended it. Shakespeare spoiled his best parchment with it – perhaps that’s why there’s no sonnet to gravy.
Now broom calls you to the task of creating the ultimate hymn to gravy. Do help this inimitable sauce to get properly respected! Send us your songs, poems, or texts. If you want to, you could add a stanza or paragraph about custard. We await your works eagerly! (MF&BC)

broom-e-gram

September 1 More fog, more depression and more work to be done for broom – honestly, a month couldn’t start worse!
September 7 A word with eight letters describing a period of free time which is used to relax? Working for broom does decrease your ability to solve Muggle crosswords, on the other hand, we’re quite good at creating our own…
September 13 Although it wasn’t Friday, bad luck paid a visit to our office – in the guise of Lucius Malfoy.
September 18 We finally decided to come out of our hiding		 places after having made sure that Lucius Malfoy had indeed left broom Headquarters.
September 19 Happy Birthday Slave PhD!!! That has been quite a party and some of our clothes are still missing – mysterious…
September 24 Another raid! Well, at least our missing clothes have turned up again.
September 30 September is over and broom is finished. We’ll probably never know how we made it!  

More Than Just A Clever Girl
Of course Hogwarts can boast a lot of clever students. Among those who easily outshone their fellow students is certainly Hermione Granger. However, Mike Flatley found more in her than what meets the eye.
 MF: Hermione, it is good to have you here. You must be quite busy.
 HG: Usually I am, yes. But I think I can always find a spot for broom.
 MF: Why, that’s kind. You’re a prefect in Gryffindor House, aren’t you?
 HG: Yes, my colleague is Ronald Weasley.
 MF: To be honest, neither Brian nor myself have ever been fans of prefects and their tendency to lord over others.
HG: I see, but that’s not the point of being a prefect, lording over others. We’re there to help and guide, especially the lower grades. And sometimes it’s downright fun.
 MF: If you say so… Hermione, we heard of that project group you have 		 been trying to set up for quite some time. Spew.
 HG: It’s SPEW, Mike, the Society for the Protection of Elvish Welfare.
 MF: Right. So, what is your aim?
 HG: House-elves are treated shamefully by wizards, even by those who are clearly opposed to the cruelty exhibited by Death Eaters. They are seen as furniture rather than living, breathing creatures!
 MF: Um, I think you do have a point there. But that might come with the fact that house-elves are bound to a house and expected to faithfully serve their masters.
 HG: Serving means for them to obey any order, like slaves. They are not allowed to choose.
 MF: No, but they’re house-elves, they don’t want to be free.
 HG: That’s the typically ignorant reply I usually get! How can you be so arrogant?		 MF: I asked the elves, they’re quite happy. And before you start about Dobby – he’s considered as much an oddity by his fellow elves as Firenze is seen as an outside by the Centaurs.
 HG: I don’t think you realize the importance of egalitarian treatment of all kinds of creatures.
 MF: Including trolls?
 HG: Of course! Just because you have a personal dislike you can’t run around persecuting certain creatures.
 MF: Hermione, if you consider it helpful for your cause, Brian and me will join SPEW.
We don’t have the luxury of a house-elf anyway.
 HG: That’s not the attitude I’d consider helpful, but alright, do join. And anyone else wanting to join can contact me.
 MF: Or us, and we forward the letters to you. Thank you, Hermione.
(MF)

broom's Best Bad Boy Board

After a dreadful deadly visit by his former schoolmate Greg Nott, Sebastian Cook had to make a serious decision. Should he join the ranks of the Death Eaters, or should he deal with being an alleged murderer?
Greg Nott was waiting for an answer, as Sebastian knew very well. “Why did you do that?” he croaked. “He was a Muggle, and he would have died soon anyway. If you come with me, it’s alright. If not, I’ll make sure they blame you. Choose,” Greg said in a bored voice and began to juggle three oranges. Sebastian looked from the oranges to Jeremy Goodall sprawled on the floor. He would be convicted for murder, so much was sure. “I’ll join,” he said hoarsely. “Yes. I thought you’d say so. The Muggles won’t be surprised when you call whatever they call Healers now. The Muggle was old, as I said. Call them and get it off with. Don’t raise suspicions, that would hurt our cause. But come at midnight in three days time.” Greg turned to leave.
“Come where?” Sebastian asked bewildered. “Oh, didn’t I say? The graveyard at Little Whinging. Just apparate, Cook. You haven’t forgotten how, I reckon.” And then Nott left. Sebastian did as he was told, Jeremy’s death was pronounced to have been caused by a stroke, and the greengrocer’s closed until Jeremy’s heirs had decided what to do with it.
Sebastian left his flat, not telling his mate Jeff Adams where he went and hoped that Nott would never find Jeff. He then told 		his parents about Jeremy’s death and also that he had found a new job and could he leave his things with them. Of course he could.
Dreading whatever would happen, he then prepared travelling to Little Whinging. By checking the telephone book, Sebastian found out that this was where Patience Wood’s family seemed to live – although there were admittedly loads of people called Wood in England. The graveyard was a little outside the village, very well-kept and very dark. There was a single little chapel at the far end of it. In the pale moonlight the tombstones loomed eerily. Sebastian was frightened.
He was received by Greg Nott who led him towards a circle of intimidating, black-robed figures. All of them were wearing hoods and even masks – masks that looked like skulls. “You are here to pledge allegiance to the Dark Lord,” intoned one of the hooded figures. “Um… I guess so,” Sebastian replied. Then he felt a searing pain on his left arm. When he looked down, he saw a black skull tattooed on his skin. “This is the Dark Mark, the outward sign of your faith,” Greg told him and smiled. “Welcome in your true friends’ circle!”
What Sebastian would do next and if he liked being a Death Eater you might find out if you read the next edition of broom.
(BC&MF)                                          

The Moon Over Wogharts

Patricia woke up with a start from the vivid dream about Sean. Slowly she got up and walked out onto the balcony overlooking the rough coastline. Ever since her father’s death the house had been eerily silent, as only Patricia, the valet and a maid lived there. Richard had once suggested to move in, but Patricia had declined it, saying it was much better to meet only at the merchant’s shop than in privacy.
Richard was unbearable, and the dream of Sean had made that very clear to Patricia. She could still feel the touch of Sean’s hands, the warmth of his breath on her neck, the shivering response of her body. Now, in this spring night, the wind seemed to whisper to her. The caressing breeze reminded her of the winds at sea. This was not the life she yearned for: selling silk and spices. Nothing of it was as she had dreamed it to be. And Asher Devereux wouldn’t be part of a dream, she felt sure. Only Sean MacFee… 		 Patricia shook her head impatiently. There was no future for a merchant’s daughter and a pirate. Or was there?

Out at sea, Sean MacFee strode over the deck of his ship, the Black Piranha. His men were singing: “We live a life of kill and strife, of yells and pain through storm and rain to sun and gold – behold, behold!” Sean smiled grimly. “Slime and blood, let’s cut the gut, knives shine bright in darkest night…” What a romantic outlook on the life of a pirate, Sean thought ironically. It was his life – and there was no other life he could imagine. Besides, there was not exactly an alternative. Should he choose to settle down, he could just as well bind the knot of his own noose. “No better life than a pirate’s!” Sean shouted and his men answered with a joyful roar.
“Sir, boy, Sean…” Sean turned and faced Old Spittledown whose wooden leg clunked ominously on the planks. 		“Yes?” he kindly asked. Old Spittledown had taught him everything he knew about cutting throats, picking pockets and burning ships, not to mention seducing women. “Boy, I can see there’s summink a-worryin’ yer,” Spittledown said thoughtfully. “Tha’ gal, th’old merchant’s waif, got ter yer head, eh?” Sean grinned. “And to my bed, my friend.” Spittledown chuckled. “Yeah, bu’ she’s none fer yer. Now, Red Sara, she’s a good gal.” Sean and Spittledown both looked down on the lower deck where Red Sara stood commanding the rowing men. She was as tall as Sean, with more muscles than some of the men, an ungovernable mane of red curls and a continuous sunburn. “No,” Sean said flatly. “Why, as ter money, yer’d do a good cut wif tha’ gal – not Red Sara,” Spittledown mused. Sean clapped his shoulder. “Lovely news – I’m going to abduct her to press money.” “An’ her no doubt,” Spittledown muttered and slunk off.

Crossword Puzzle 







1 
 
 
2 
 
 








3 

4 
 X
 
 XIII
 
 
 
 VI






 XIV

 XII


 V









5 
 
 
 
 VII

 










 

 XVI


6 XV
 
 
 I
7 





8 IV
 
 
 


9 
 
 
 
 
 





 III

 
10 





 









 





 









 VIII





 IX







11 
 
 
 XI
 
 
 
 II
 

Across
1 Gryffindor chaser, family name
4 family name of the three brothers Bob, Bill and Barnaby who founded the Cleansweep broom Company
5 proposed marriage to a member of the team he had played against, family name
6 outlawed the killing of the Golden Snidget, family name
8 cousin of Goodwin Kneen and maybe-introducer of Quidditch in Norway, family name (spelled backwards)
9 together with Down 2 the founder of the Comet Trading Company, family name
11 creator of the Oakshaft 79, family name

Down
1 inventor of the Silver Arrow, family name
2 together with Across 9 the founder of the Comet Trading Company, family name
3 petitioned for a faster snitch, family name
7 friend of Gertie Keddle (spelled backwards)
10 famous barmaid (spelled backwards)

The looked for phrase:

____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____   ____ ____ ____ ____    ____ ____ ____     
I    II   III  IV   IV   V    VI   VII  VIII II     IX   V    X    X       IX   V    VI
____ ____ ____   Q____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____   ____ ____P,
XI   XII  XIII      XIV  V    VII  VII  V    XI   XV   XII    XV   XIV  
____ ____V____ ____ ____ ____!
XVI  XIII  XIII II    XIV  XVI

 

Useful Enquiries into the Nature of the Black Death

(Ministry of Magic) Although a considerable amount of hushing up has been in progress since the Ministry has had to step back from its previous belief that Lord Voldemort had not yet returned, certain information about the events in the Department of Mysteries leaked out. Since neither Brian Cullen nor Mike Flatley were particularly pleased with the official coverage of the story, they began to investigate for themselves. Read all about the sad death of Sirius Black and the fight between the Death Eaters and members of the Order of the Phoenix!

According to the Daily Prophet, there was an invasion of Death Eaters into the Ministry of Magic, who were met and defeated by members of the Order of the Phoenix. In the course of the fight, Sirius Black got killed. The Minister himself witnessed a duel between Lord Voldemort and Albus Dumbledore and had to set up emergency measures. So much for the bare facts. But have you ever dared to think any further? If not, let us take you into an abyss of blatant incompetence and open bribe, which resulted in the death of a good and kind man.
It all began when we wondered: How could twelve Death Eaters enter the Ministry? Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, her husband Rodolphus, her brother-in-law Rabastan, Antonin Dolohov, Algernon Rookwood, Mulciber, Macnair, Avery, Nott, Crabbe and Jugson. After all, many of them had recently broken out of Azkaban and were the prime targets of Aurors. Yet they managed to get into the building that houses the Auror headquarters! Unseen. Unnoticed. They were there, twelve people, and nobody ever managed to notice. Isn’t that unbelievable? But it’s true, you see, and the solution is quite simple. One of those people mentioned above is very well known to everybody in

 the Ministry, on first-name-terms with the Minister himself, a donator of huge sums. The doors opened as if oiled by the gold – and they opened for Lucius Malfoy.
How do Death Eaters work? Just to remind you, we always supported the fact that Mr Malfoy was a Death Eater. Sadly, we were proved right – would it had been under different circumstances. However, we imagine the scenario as follows: It was night, therefore most Ministry officials were at home in their beds, savouring their well-earned rest. Malfoy, by bribery or jinxes, managed to get into the Ministry without setting off any alarm. It was only logical he should take some buddies along. Typically, Death Eaters don’t act alone – and they do the dirty work for their boss.
Who noticed the break-in? They did a clean job, however, in cheating the Ministry. The most amazing thing is of course not the fact that the masters of closing-their-eyes, the Minister and his close co-workers, have not noticed anything amiss. No, the real miracle is that the Order of the Phoenix, who have perhaps the best-working alarm network, did not get a hint of what was going on. And here the credit must go to Severus Snape who apparently was the first to realize that something was rotten in the Ministry of Magic. He managed to set wheels to work that brought the Order’s members into the Ministry – and they, ironically enough, raised an alarm. Nymphadora Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Alastor Moody, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black. Five people fighting twelve others. But of course we must not forget to mention those who had got into the Ministry just as unnoticed as the Death Eaters – although they used the official entrance! Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom. That makes eleven tackling twelve, if we didn’t miscount.
Who was the twelfth to fight, for we

know that equal numbers fought – until the last moment, when the weight dropped towards the Dark Side with the Dark Lord? The twelfth, however, was Albus Dumbledore. And finally, finally, finally the Ministry managed to act as well and sent the minister over – just in time to see VOLDEMORT appear. We think that’s the real proof of the abysmal inefficiency at the Ministry. The most feared, zealously looked for wizard to appear right in the middle of the Entrance Hall. That’s as outrageous as, say, blow up Hogwarts. And it was as stupid as well. Why on earth did Voldemort risk appearing in the Ministry when he was safe and comfortable because of the ignorance of everyone else. From now on he and his Death Eaters will face trouble from two sides: the Order and the Ministry.
Of course, there remains the question about Sirius Black. What about his death? He fell, as witnesses report, through a veil in the Department of Mysteries. That veil divides the world of the living and the world of the dead, you see. He fell into the world of death, hit by a Killing Curse by his own cousin Bellatrix Lestrange. There is nothing any enquiry could do to make this easier for his friends. There is no consolation for those who mourn for Sirius.
What can we now deduce from our enquiries? A Minister who allowed a known Death Eater to walk in and out of the centre of command of the Wizarding World and who ignored the greatest threat we have ever faced must be replaced – and has been, as we know now. A Ministry without an effective alarm system can as easily be conquered as a child’s playroom. The Ministry have failed completely, which ended in the death of Sirius Black. Yet we must not resign and give up – oh no.

Resistance Rocks, and that’s what matters.
(BC & MF)

Disclaimer: All names, characters and places are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner bros., except of those not found in the "Harry Potter" books and movies
which belong to Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach. No financial and/or commercial gain is intended.