broom Breaking News
broom’s breaking board of bad by-the-ways is baked. No new news were named,
no newish nix and no nescience newly nettled no one. Reporters resigned and ran
away ruining the riot representative, namely radical broom. However, habitually Brian and Mike have to hack out a haggard alphabet hamper, happily handed on to the handsome Dicks, Toms and Harrys hoping to help to have a hilarious hour. Be that as it may, Brian and Mike monthly bring you broom and |
both produce manifold brilliant articles broadening your mind and minding you
broadly. We do wonder what other writers warble whenever the world waits and welcome whammy vanished. Anyone doesn’t aim to abet abstract accounts of anything not accumulating and still some persons search for something to study. So be sure to be second to see the news, right after Brian and Mike here in broom. |
(The World) In a surprise stroke, the potential prince
otherwise known as the Piano-Man, revealed his true identity. broom feels the
unquenchable urge to complain about the incomparable incomprehension of the
imbecile. The Piano-Man has turned out to be a Bavarian bloke called Andrew something! Now, we here at broom are dreadfully |
devastated since our totally touchy theory fell into precious pieces: The Piano-Man is definitely not the Half-Blood Prince. Of course, we would have understood why the prodigal popular person did not call us immediately. The Bavarian bloke was supposed to have lost his meagre memory. So, we are again on the highly high-profile hunt for the Half-Blood Prince. Your Highness, kindly call us! (ALL) |
(Hogsmeade) After two weeks of no
news, editors Flatley and Cullen warily went to look for disappeared diligent
dailies. Dutifully determined to finally find out about the manifold mystery of the vanished valuable workers, the elated editors set out on their own. First they failed to find any secret signs of their |
workers. Secret signs, however, lately lead them to believe
that the missing minions are in large London. If caught by Vicious Voldemort’s villains or if hiding harassed by the mean
Ministry, we cannot tell. We want them to know that we will cautiously keep our eyes open and wish them well. |
Travelling Tales
Always keen to understand muggles and their ways we joined a group of merry
people watching a street. One wave of our wands got us chairs and we settled
down to watch, too. Of course, you may ask, what sense there is in watching a street and so did we. Muggles were obviously waiting for something to happen. So did we. What did happen was a bunch of adolescents obscuring our view. However, a few well-placed jinxes |
cleared our view again. A large group of people dressed in
strange clothes – for muggles – had set out to find what everybody was
awaiting following the street and vanishing around a corner. There must have been some kind of monster there because nobody ever came back. If you should ever witness anything like this don’t tarry but hide! We also attended a sort of fake hunt where the prey was placed on top of a |
stick in the middle of a square. The hunters were placed on a raised hide and
nothing in between them and the prey. The used strongbows and bolts and whenever somebody hit the target they cheered loudly the prey, by the way, was wooden and looked like a crowned idio-chicken. We were not able to witness too much because the muggle crowd was too crowdy. So we left the muggles to themselves. Yours, Brian and Mike. |
As You Travel
You can meet people everywhere, but the absolutely best place to do so is
a bus or a train. There are all kinds of people, weird and normal, men and women,
old and young, laden with sorrows or bubbling with laughter. To get a bit of the
fun, Brian Cullen set out on a bus where he met Mrs Dyna Mite, a middle-aged
woman in her sixties travelling to the 70th birthday of her cousin. Dyna is a
blonde (or rather, her hairdresser makes her a blonde), with suntan and very
light make-up. She wears jeans and a T-shirt like any 30-year-old. And she talks.
Incessantly. Brian: So you’re on the way to your cousin. Dyna: Yes. My cousin… Ah, the first thing that will happen is that she will say ‘Oh but you can’t wear that.’ That |
was always the case with my family. Anywhere I go, they always
look me up and down and begin to whisper and smirk. And I can’t think why, I’m
dressing quite normally. Don’t you think so? Anyway, I do not quite see why my
cousin celebrates her birthday. 70 – it’s too late to celebrate then. I know,
when I’m turning seventy I’ll be away, maybe in Spain. Were you born here? Not
on the bus, in this area? Brian: Yes, well, actually… Dyna: Ah, then I mustn’t say a word. But the people from here… I’m not of their kind, really. I’m more the Spanish kind. Really! When we were in Spain some years ago they told me, ‘Ah, you’re una amica.’ That meant a lot to me. They said I had the same kind of esprit as they do – not like the stiff English at all. Isn’t the weather |
horrible? So cold. But then, I’ve got a nice balcony where I always sit. Yes,
in fact I spent all the last afternoons there. What do you think will the summer
be like? Brian: Warm? Dyna: We shall see, we shall see. But don’t you agree that it is simply daft to celebrate a 70th birthday? Brian: I think every birthday should be celebrated. Dyna: You’re still young, but wait until you reach my age. Well, now I’ve got to dash to get to my hairdresser in time before I go to the party. Have a nice day! Brian: You, too, Mrs Mite! After this encounter, Brian decided to ride a bus or a train more often. Maybe we will hear a new fascinating conversation soon! (BC) |
broom's Best Bad Boy Board
There can be no doubt now that Lord Voldemort has moved into the open.
Whereas the great majority lives in fear, there are those who openly fight him.
But of course there are also those who are attracted to the Death Eaters. Valuable sources have confirmed now that Ramon Vargas has definitely and irrevocably joined the Death Eaters. The most important proof is the tattooed Dark Mark on his left arm. As we are informed, this tattoo is used to Summon the wicked and the evil and rally them around Voldemort. Now that Vargas bears the tattoo, we can be sure to hear of his deeds soon. However, what remains a mystery, is how anyone can join the Death Eaters out of his/ her free will. How can torture and murder be attractive? But here lies the core of the problem: Dark Magic is not necessarily torture and murder. In fact, Dark |
Magic is more or less the same as White Magic, only thwarted to
serve an evil purpose. True, there are spells and poisons specifically created
to cause pain and death. But think about it for a moment: If you take all the
ingredients it takes to create a poison, can you say that each of them kills? As
Paracelsus says, the dose makes the poison. The same goes for spells. You have
to mean, really mean, what the spell is supposed to do. So even the most evil
spell will do little damage if you don’t mean it. Now, if someone like Vargas studies Dark Magic out of scientific interest and finds friends through that, it might induce him to go further. The quest for knowledge can lead onto dangerous paths. Please be careful that you don’t follow the example of Ramon Vargas. |
broom brought Mean Minister Down
(Wizarding World) broom is permanently proud to have bravely brought
down Cornelius Oswald Fudge, former fearful Minister for Magic. Our courageous
campaign concerning the resignation of the mulish Minister brought the reckoned
results. Undoubtedly, wizards and witches will be terribly thankful for broom’s brave biased bold approach. Now that Cornelius Fudge has reluctantly resigned, the way is open for new, hopeful, cool candidates. broom wishes to present you with a little list of our all-time fabulous favourites: 1. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore Unquestioningly, daring Dumbledore has earned our deeply-felt devotion by his ferocious fight against vicious Voldemort. |
Since feeble Fudge has asked
Dumbledore for advice a thousand times a day at least, wouldn’t it be the easier
way to let Dumbledore assume office on the spot? 2. Griselda Marchbanks Madam Marchbanks, we’re you’re fond fans! You tested both of us on Defence Against the Dark Arts, and you were so stern and yet kind of kind. We think you’ve got the guts to get at Voldemort the right way. Kick his butt, Griselda. 3. Arthur Weasley Arthur! England needs you, your majesty. Why not choose a wary Weasley for the eminent elected post? And there has been a prudent prophecy made by Merlin that Arthur would be the once and future king. He battled the Saxons (cheers, Hengist) and so he can also bravely battle Voldemort. Or did we mix something up here? |
4. Augusta Longbottom She’s the queen of grumpy grannies, the lady of stern sentences, the mistress of magical menacing. Her hat has had an unforgettable appearance on the head of Professor Snape, and her red hot handbag will serve the pious purpose of putting Voldemort out cold. 5. Brian Cullen Yes, friends and folks out there, a brave Brian will always save your day, no matter what the supposed surname is. In addition, you’ll never again read boring briefs but laughable letters from your very own Minister for Magical Mayhem. Undoubtedly, the best way to get rid of a brutal Boggart is to laugh, and equally undoubtedly the best way to get rid of fear is to laugh as well. Vote for Brian – and if you don’t vote him Minister, well, you’ll see what you’ll get. |
Crossword
1 | ||||||||||||||||||||
2 | ||||||||||||||||||||
3 | 4 | 5 I | II | 6 | 7 XII | |||||||||||||||
8 | ||||||||||||||||||||
9 | ||||||||||||||||||||
10 | III | VI | IX | |||||||||||||||||
11 | 12 VII | |||||||||||||||||||
XI | XIII | |||||||||||||||||||
13 | X | V | 14 XV | |||||||||||||||||
15 IV | ||||||||||||||||||||
16 | VIII | |||||||||||||||||||
17 | ||||||||||||||||||||
XIV | ||||||||||||||||||||
Across
4 family of Death Eaters 6 to get one you must kill someone 10 where you stuff Slytherins into 11 makes you lucky 13 accidentally poisons Ron (surname) 16 Harry's nickname (ask Snape!) 17 imperius-curse barmaid (Christian name) |
Down
1 probable future wife of Bill Weasley (nickname) 2 Flitwick's Christian name (also: Latin 'son') 3 Voldemort's grandfather 5 the other Minister 7 Gryffindor keeper with hubris 8 opposite of 'lost-lost' 9 opposite of 'cry-cry' 12 as slimy as his namesake 14 Severus' daddy 15 mistress of the greenhouses (Christian name) |
The looked for phrase:
____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____! I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV
A Good Maxim is Never out of Season
Art improves nature and fools rush in where angels fear to tread. However,
silence is golden. Then again, one must howl with the wolves. Obviously, there
are two sides to every question. Children and fools have merry lives. And actions speak louder than words. Above all, sticks and bones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. |
Well, to err is human. A bold heart is half the battle. Words cut more than
swords. You must learn this lesson fast and learn it well – this is no
upwardly mobile freeway oh no, it is the road to hell. Unfortunately, no man is born wise or learned. But by writing you learn to write. And yet, where ignorance is bliss, ‘t is folly to be wise. Additionally, a little |
learning is a dangerous thing, for example, if he doesn’t know chalk from cheese. Though this be madness, yet there is method in it. If you can read this thank a teacher. Still love needs no teacher and love conquers all. Then again, one cannot love and be wise. Content is all. What we first learn, we best can. The rest is silence. (No One) |
Hit By A Bludger
Chudley Cannons Capitulate to Tutshill Tornadoes Another devastating performance makes Cannons fans cry out in despair, declare Fred and George Weasley. Again the Chudley Cannons show that their glorious days are long over, and far to come back. A devastating match for the cannons began in a thunderstorm that was likely to spoil an early catch of the Snitch. Indeed, in front of hardly a handful of spectators, Cannons and Tornadoes had no chance |
to see the Snitch fast enough. Through the splattering
rain and roaring thunder, Tornadoes nevertheless managed to score more than a
dozen times, while Cannons hardly ever got a Chaser near the Tornadoes Goalposts.
However, once the rain lessened, Cannons showed they still had some skill and managed to outwit the Tornadoes Keeper Summerhill more than once. It was all for nothing, though, as Cannons Seeker Wong was fouled by Tornadoes Beater Lindemann and had to leave the |
pitch. Who knows if not the Cannons had won otherwise? But as there was only the Tornadoes Seeker on the loose, team captains agreed on ending the match. So, without catching the Snitch, the match was lost to Cannons. However, to all of you Cannons fans out there: There is still hope! Keep your fingers crossed for a recovery of past splendour! Result: Chudley Cannons – Tutshill Tornadoes 80 : 200 |