The melodious music hopefully heard in the outside environment is possibly produced by beautiful birds. This marvellous music mostly makes our miserable moods magnificently miraculous. The seasonal sixth months of welcome winter were far too frosty and likely too long, now no one merely misses the cold

(Vatican) Pope Francis, newly elected bishop of Rome, is a kind man and one who loves close contact to people, just like his namesake did, the holy man from Assisi.
Unfortunately, as popular pope meeting people everywhere is not on the cool cards. Many might love you, but there are always nerdy nutters trying to do you in by meaningfully murdering you. Brave bodyguards therefore do their best to

March 1 – Supposedly the beginning of spring, but still deepest winter. We hope for a decent summer and buy more coal.
March 8 – If you counted on being in the garden following Leslie’s gardening tips, we have to disappoint you. You need dynamite to get the earth moving. Hang on, what a good idea, we sell dynamite for gardeners now…
March 13 – Catholics can rejoice: They have a new pope. Francis is the 266th pope in the history of the church (not counting all the counter-popes). Good luck, then, with the new guy.
March 20 – Isn’t it nice to make all those little Easter gifts?

(Bury St. Dorothy) Once again we are in the sleepy village of Bury St. Dorothy. This month it’s not only hidden under a thick layer of snow but also several thick layers of letters and owl droppings. It’s amazing how many people wanted to be part of the selection process of the next celebrity to leave. Stay tuned and listen to Harriet and Leslie talking to this months outcast.
”Hi and welcome back to the show.” “Yes, Hello and good bye, too, Harriet.” “ Leslie, you’re quite right here. We have the candidate with us who has to go home today: Lucius Malfoy.” “Hello everybody.” “Lucius, were you rather shocked when you heard that you were chosen for going home so soon?” “No, it didn’t at all surprise me, as this id one by broompire and to tell you the truth they have never been too fond of my own person and you have been running campaigns against…” “Yes, thank you Lucius, doesn’t time fly? Leslie, what is this month’s task?” “Harriet, I’m glad you ask. We will have so much fun again this month. Admittedly the circumstances are not the best for this task but still it can be managed: Gardening.” “Gardening, how nice, naturally, you will be the expert for this one.”
”Some details you might like to know: The house our candidates inhabit is surrounded by a garden of the size of 500m². There’s a lawn but there are also flowerbeds, trees and bushes.” “Yes, Harriet, and as we old gardeners know now is the perfect time for cutting back some of our trees and bushes. The late winter or spring or whatever helps us here. There is, unfortunately, not much lawn to mow, but we British do like to keep it short anyway. As a matter of fact, the weather is just perfect for putting out colourful flowers. We all need the change!”
”Ten people are gathering in the garden, Leslie.” “Arthur is having a good look at some of the Muggle equipment.” “CAREFUL, THERE, ARTHUR, IT’S A CHAINSAW! IT HURTS IF YOU CUT YOURSELF!” “OR SOMEONE ELSE – for that matter.” “AMAZING!” “While Arthur is inspecting the necessary tools – oh, is that Ludo? Is he still wearing his doctor’s outfit?” “Yes, Harriet, he is, probably not the best choice for working in the garden.” “But, Leslie, can you wash doctor’s clothes at very hot temperatures?” “I guess, we will shortly find out.” “He picked up a pair of garden scissors

(Germany) The last couple of weeks have seen a worsening of the financial crisis in Cypress, which led to a proposal worked out by the European Union. This was refined by representatives of the Cyprian government and finally presented to the public. The Cyprian public hated it.
Interestingly enough, the Cyprian public disliked the changes demanded by their own representatives the most. As surely there will be some sort of election soon, the representatives were quite scared that they might lose the support of their own people. Consequently, they used the offered chance to blame the European Union and German Chancellor Merkel and Minister of the Exchequer Schäuble.
As it has so often happened before whenever something was not liked by the general public in Europe, the representatives of Germany were called by names we would rather not repeat as we think them so dreadful. The whole nation was defamed as being members of a party that luckily has not existed in the last 68 years (!).
A couple of weeks ago another European head of state refused to talk to a German politician because he didn’t like the way this man had talked about his fellow government. These were ‘defamed’ as being members of the artistry which as a matter of fact one of them really is and the other one was sentenced to one year in prison.

(The Word – as far as we know) The first of April is a great day for humorous people – the others have to suffer a lot from pranksters and wannabe clowns. Unfortunately, due to Easter we only have a belated April Fools Day interview. Nevertheless, some of the tricks might still be good for the one or other 1 April in the future. Please welcome Fred and George Weasley.

nB: What would you suggest to do – well, next year then obviously – to turn a fellow witch or wizard into an April fool?
GW: You could tell everyone that newbroom is out – as a matter of fact we’re not quite sure whether this will be adaptable to the next year edition but certainly one year in the future will hold a similar date for Easter as this year. Just keep it in mind – it’s a good one!
FW: You could also tell everyone that spring has finally started. However, the masses of snow outside might quickly reveal that this was only a weak attempt to turn someone into a fool. Maybe spring will turn us all into