broom Breaking News
| Due to the arising of the dark wizard Voldemort the Ministry of Magic has decided to cancel, forbid and make illegal all forms of written communication. This will include all papers and magazines, so say good bye to the Daily Prophet and the Quibbler. No, too early to gambol about, you will not be so lucky to have received your last copy of broom. | It is true writing is forbidden, therefore we here at broom would like to announce that from next month on you will get an audio edition of broom. If you want to check out our test article in the new format click this button. |
| (England) As we have reported Sirius Black has been seen in Iceland. Apparently he has used the opportunity to travel further south and appear in some parts of this country disguised as an Easter bunny. Thanks to our attentive readers we learned that not only the delicious Easter eggs re-appeared but that the vulgar villain followed their paths and strolled along the streets of some of our major cities. Thinking about it, Sirius has been seen around Christmas | wearing a long white beard a red cap and a coat of the same colour. Please, do not hesitate to contact broom to pass on information on the sightings or even whereabouts of the wanted villain. We here at broom would like to warn you: Do be careful and watch out around Pentecost when he is likely to return in the shape of either tongues of flame or the holy ghost. Always on the watch out for you and Sirius Black. (No One) |
| (Hosmeade) A brand-new bistro brought bawling ballyhoo to our
bailiwick. Yes, best selling Baedecker bears a bacchanal palace beatifying all from bard to banker with Bactrian burgers, barrels of baobab beer or barbecue and leave bachelor beau Otoparkimir | Ocetsizdir with bags of baksheesh. Busy bee Otoparkimir plays his balalaika peacefully for the blokes and blossoms present. Behave in the beribboned barrack and be bewitched by the bison biscuit or bespeak a black pizza and benefit. Don’t blame broom for the big besiege on this bonbon. |
"Yes, we will do, we do, we did"
(Hogsmeade)
A couple of weeks ago we here at broom reported that a new Potter-Page was
available on the net. You might believe it or not but we managed to contact
the two initiators of this site and they agreed to answer some of our
questions. Be prepared to meet Unlike Friedrich And Kitten Seelbach.
| the first year gives quite a
good hint who belongs to the Malignant Magpies.
BC&MF: To take up your expression, you hint at the fact that there are more of your stories than those currently available on the net… KS: Yes, definitely, much more…Ulrike keeps counting the pages. UF: Yes, but I don’t think it very advisable to reveal the exact number now for it might scare away some of the readers for their faith might not be enough for such a long journey. BC&MF: Are we talking about more than 70-130 pages? UF: I don’t know if you are… BC&MF: You introduced the pattern of terms – as is done in your inspirational source – will you stick to this? KS: Yes, we will, we do, we did. BC&MF: Let us return to the number of pages. There’s no need to reveal the exact one but could you give us a hint. At the moment there are some 460 pages do you have another 460 up your sleeves? KS: I think what we can reveal is that we have each year until they pass or may not pass their final exams at Hogwarts and we provide something for the gap between this and the start of the Harry Potter series and then we continue along J.K. Rowling’s work. BC&MF: What has been the longest year so far? UF: Of those available, the fifth year. BC&MF: And of those which are not yet available? KS: It’s always the last one… |
UF:…almost always. BC&MF: How many pages are we talking in this case? UF: It really doesn’t make sense to talk about page numbers. The last thing we’re working on is not finished yet and so is hardly anything else. We keep inserting things… KS: It’s never finished and just when you put one thing on the net a new story occurs to you and you write it and you add it. It’s very hard to say anything definite about our stories. BC&MF: Does that mean you intend to go on for ever? KS: We don’t know yet. It’s a lot of fun and as long as we have new ideas… UF:…or can steal some! BC&MF: What was the weirdest thing you ever wrote for these sequels? KS: A distraction for Professor Snape – which will never be published. BC&MF: Posthumously… KS: No, never. My last will contains a passage preventing this! BC&MF: And yours? UF: So far, this interview, I’d say! BC&MF: One last question: Who’s your favourite character in your own stories? KS: Mike Flatley… UF:…Brian Cullen. We here at broom blushingly thank Ulrike Friedrich and Kirsten Seelbach for the time they have taken first of all to write their stories and second to answer our questions. (BC&MF) |
broom's Best Bad Boy Board
|
Yes, Ramon also was at school
with the editors of this worthy magazine. And he even had friends. Or maybe
just servants? Find out for yourselves.
Ramon started at Hogwarts with the knowledge of his family’s history in mind. Not only had his grandfather and great-uncle been killed by Aurors, no, his mother’s cousins, Rabastan and Rodolphus and Rodolphus’ wife Bellatrix were imprisoned in Azkaban after trial before the Wizengamot. So in 1982, Ramon must have been filled with wrath at what the likes of Professor Dumbledore had done to his family. But he started at Hogwarts, continuing the family tradition. And continuing the family tradition, he was sorted into Slytherin. There he met two boys who should be his faithful sidekicks for | all
the seven years at Hogwarts: Sebastian
Cook and Roland Banks. Both were the sons of Voldemort-supporters if not
downright Death Eaters, and both were not nearly as clever as Ramon. If you
had looked for an evil mastermind at that time, it would have been Vargas. If
you had looked for a prankster mastermind, you’d have had to divide it through
three, and you’d have found the Malignant Magpies. They, of course, were
Vargas’ greatest foes. Ramon was a true Slytherin: cunning, evil, but
brilliantly clever. Therefore, plainly dangerous. Now that we laid the foundation for the understanding of the mental mind of Ramon Vargas, we will give you incidents and reports about him in loose order. Hopefully you are convinced you voted for the real Best Bad Boy. |
broom'S Personalities Tested
| We here at broom encountered a sort of
muggle piece of joke. Well, as you know, we here at broom are always trying to
understand and explain muggles and their ways. Above all we here at broom want
to share our experiences. So Brian and Mike decided to take a muggle
personality test. Brian: This is a fun test. DO NOT lie! Don't cheat and look ahead. Answer honestly; the scoring doesn't work like you might think. Mike: Dr. Bill's Test Brian: Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting! Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and give it to your friends. Mike: Don't peek but begin the test as you read on and answer. Answers are for who you are now, not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. Brian: It's only 10 simple questions, so...grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers. Mike: 1. When do you feel your best? a) in the morning b) during the afternoon & and early evening c) late at night? Brian: None of these, Mike, actually it is whenever I am asleep. What about you? Mike: Yes, that’s me too. Brian: 2. When you’re outside you usually walk... a) fairly fast, with long steps b) fairly fast, with little steps c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face d) less fast, head down e) very slowly? Mike: Outside? I never go outside, do you, Brian? |
Brian: No, I never do. Mike: 3. When talking to people you... a) stand with your arms folded b) have your hands clasped c) have one or both your hands on your hips d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair? Brian: Talking to people – I can’t remember when I talked to people last time. What about you, Mike? Mike: I never talk to people! Brian: 4. When relaxing, you sit with… a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side b) your legs crossed c) your legs stretched out or straight d) one leg curled under you? Mike: Relax? I don’t have time to relax, do you ever relax, Brian? Brian: Not that I can remember! Mike: 5. When something really amuses you, you react with… a) big appreciated laugh b) a laugh, but not a loud one c) a quiet chuckle d) a sheepish smile? Brian: Amuses me? Nothing ever amuses me! Mike: No, me neither. Next question. Brian: 6. When you go to a party or social gathering you... a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed? Mike: Party? Brian: Social gathering? Mike: Next question! 7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted you... a) welcome the break b) feel extremely irritated c) vary between these two extremes? Brian: Work? Mike: Next question! Brian: 8. Which of the following colours do you like most? a) red or orange b) black c) yellow or light blue d) green | e) dark blue or purple f)
white g) brown or grey? Mike: Pink! What about you, Brian? Brian: I’m colour blind… Mike: 9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are.... a) stretched out on your back b) stretched out face down on your stomach c) on your side, slightly curled d) with your head on one arm e) with your head under the covers? Brian: I never sleep! Mike: No, me neither. Next one! Brian: 10. You often dream that you are... Mike: Next question! Brian: Actually that was the last question. Mike: Oh, then let’s see what type of persons we are… Brian: Let’s see…over 60 points, 51 to 60 points, 41 to 50, 31 to 40, 21 to 30, under 21 and if you couldn’t answer a single question of the above: If you were not able to answer one of the above questions and could not agree with a single answer given you must be the publishers of broom! Mike: How very right this test is! We here at broom would like to thank Dr. Bill an Brian and Mike to take the pains of taking Dr. Bill’s test. And we like to use this extraordinary opportunity to thanking our readers who worked their way through this boring interview. (ALL but Brian & Mike) Mike: Oh, Brian, there’s written something more. Brian: Really, what is it? Mike: But you might be simply dumb. Brian: I think I don’t understand this. What about you, Mike? Mike: No, me neither… |